old, old, old...

I am 68 years old. I've reached the point that I am hoping I'll live as long as my father--83--which means I'd see my granddaughters graduated from college, that, at least.

So, I am felling old.

But I'm also feeling ageless. Sure, there are things that have slown down and been rearranged, but in my mind, I am ageless. I still have most of my mind--a blank about names, but mostly all there. And though things ache that didn't used to, my body is pretty much my own.

And if 60 is the new 40, 68 is the new 48--in those terms I'm not yet 50, give me a break...I'm almost two decades past 50!

My hands don't work as well as they have for all these years and my knees act up after I've been sitting or driving a car for a couple of hours.

But in my mind--in the part of me I think of as ME--most everything is mostly as it's been for the last three decades or so. In my head, I'm forever 38, a good place to be in your head.

But that's 40 years from True.

Being older is a remarkable experience. You feel all over the map about age. At least I do.

"You're only as old as you feel" is bullshit. You are as old as  you are.

And I'm felling old today.

Tomorrow I might buy into 38. But not tonight.

Tonight I'm 68 and living into that.