Sunday, May 13, 2012

My 'little piggies'

Because I had on sandals and was sitting on the deck with my feet up (it being a beautiful day and all) I was looking at my toes and had disturbing thoughts.

My nails are not gnarly since I had a pedicure three weeks or so ago, but the two big toe nails are looking yellow. Besides that, my second toe on my left foot is beginning to look like a hammer toe and the second toe on my right foot is elongated, almost as log as the big toe and the last digit looks like a catchers mitt or a peony--all big and squishy. Plus, my little toes are like really little, like they belong on a smaller foot or something.

So I searched the Internet for "yellowing toe nails" and found disturbing things. Never 'search the net' (I can't figure out how to spell "Googled" to my spell check's satisfaction) unless it's something you really, really want to know.

Of the hundreds of thousands of 'hits' for "yellowing toe nails" I looked at two before I got to scared to search on.

I learned about Toenail Fungal Infection ('onychomycosos') which 12% of Americans apparently have.

I learned about "yellow nail syndrome", which can be a symptom of such things a sinusitis, rheumatoid arthritis, immune system problems and kidney cancer. (It can also be caused by using very dark nail polish, but since I never go darker than pink that can't be the reason....)

There was a link to 'kidney cancer' and I clicked on it an learned a lesson we all should know and know fair well--never click on a link to 'kidney cancer' if you have something like yellow toenails on your big toes. It will scare the bejesus out of you!!! (My spell check doesn't have an alternative spelling of 'bejesus' that makes any sense and since I use that word all the time, I'm sticking with my spelling....)

One option to kidney cancer, if you have a yellow toenail, is to soak it in warm water for 10 minutes and then apply a cream with latic acid (whatever that is) 0r urea (whatever that is).

I might consider doing that if it weren't for the fact that I have no idea what kind of cream would have those mystery ingredients and would be too embarrassed to ask the pharmacist and, if I tried it and my toenails were still yellow, I'd start really worrying about kidney cancer....

I just don't need that.

Maybe I should just wear socks with my sandals. Out of sight, out of mind.

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some ponderings by an aging white man who is an Episcopal priest in Connecticut. Now retired but still working and still wondering what it all means...all of it.