Today I officiated at the funeral and burial of young man--just 27--who was killed in a motorcycle accident.
Here is what I want you to know, if you have children, you cannot allow yourself to imagine what that young man's parents are going though, will go through, can never forget.
My 37 years as a priest tells me this as powerfully as it tells me anything: you cannot allow yourself to imagine what it means to lose a child to death.
I have two children, both older than Nelson, who I helped bury today. And I am hard-wired not to be able to imagine what it would be like if either Mimi or Josh died. My mind and soul shuts down before I can begin to imagine that in any way.
In my 37 years as a priest one thing I have learned, over and over, too many times, is that there is nothing so full of pain and cognitive dissonance as the death of a child of yours.
Nothing to be said. Nothing to do--other than just be there as a non-anxious presence when people go through what you can't allow yourself to imagine.
If you pray, pray for Nelson and Jordie and their daughter Jen as they go through what you and I cannot allow ourselves to imagine.
No one, who has not lost a child to death, has any idea whatsoever what they are feeling or what this all means (or doesn't mean, since 'meaning' doesn't even apply.
Don't even try to imagine what it feels like to lose a child. That way lies madness.
But mourn with Nelson and Jordie. Mourning is what is appropriate.
And probably all we can do....Probably all we can do.....
Saturday, June 8, 2013
Friday, June 7, 2013
Why I'm an Episcopalian...
This is a sermon about a decade ago, just before the General Convention in Minneapolis that made decisions that changed the Episcopal Church forever regarding human sexuality.
I thought I'd share it because I ponder the future of my church a lot and this was some pondering 10 years ago that might be informative to us today, as we ponder.....
I thought I'd share it because I ponder the future of my church a lot and this was some pondering 10 years ago that might be informative to us today, as we ponder.....
Why
I’m an Episcopalian….
July
27, 2003
This
little book is called 101 Reasons to be an Episcopalian.
Since much of what I want to say today is about the Episcopal Church,
I’m going to read several of them to you as we go along.
#
87 by a woman priest from Florida: “We don’t have all the answers
and we welcome others who love the questions.”
#
86 by a laywoman in Rochester: “Catholic, without the pope and with
women; protestant without the gloom….”
Tomorrow
at 9:55 a.m., God willing and the creek don’t rise, I’ll be on an
airplane headed to Minneapolis, Minnesota and the General Convention
of the Episcopal Church as one of our Diocese’s 4 clergy deputies.
I
want you to know this: I am both proud and humbled to
be one of the four priests representing the Diocese of Connecticut at
the General Convention. Proud and humbled—both at the same
time…. Both together…. Just like that….
Reason
# 52: “this is the only church that is as lovingly loony as your
family.” Mary Lyons, Diocese of Olympia
#80—a
layman from Atlanta: “We don’t quiz you on your beliefs before
worshipping with you.”
What
I want to tell you about the General Convention of our church is this
(it’s a quote from Dame Julian of Norwich): “All will be
well and all will be well and all manner of things will be well….”
That’s
not the message you will hear in the news media about the goings-on
at General Convention. What you will hear—unless you log on the St.
John’s web site and get my “reports” from the Convention—is
this: the church is in a mess it can’t get out of…everything is
falling apart…the Episcopal Church is about to split asunder and
blow up like a cheap balloon.
My
advice is this: don’t listen to that negative stuff.
My
mantra is this: “all will be well….”
***
In
today’s gospel, Jesus walks on water.
Twenty
years ago or more now, one of my favorite poets, the late Denise
Levertov, said this: “The crisis of faith is the crisis of
imagination. If we cannot imagine
walking on the waters, how can we meet Jesus there?”
Denise
Levertov said that at a conference of poets and theologians. For my
money, you couldn’t beat that combination—poets and
theologians…people who anguish over “language” and people who
fret about “God”. Poets and theologians—now you’re talking….
***
Let’s
cut to the chase—the real issue facing the General Convention, in
one way or another, is the issue of homosexuality.
There
is a remarkable amount of disagreement within the Episcopal Church
about homosexuality. And that disagreement will come to the General
Convention in several ways. It will come up over the confirmation of
the election of Gene Robinson as the next bishop of New Hampshire.
Gene Robinson has been a priest for 30 years. He is currently the
assistant to the Bishop of New Hampshire. He heads committees for the
national church. He happens to be a gay man in a committed
relationship with another man.
There
are 10 other elections of Bishops that will come to the General
Convention. Not since the 1870’s has the larger church overruled
the choice of a Diocese as their bishop. And the 10 other bishops
elected in the last 3 months will be approved by General Convention
without debate and unanimously. But not Gene Robinson….
If I were a betting man, I’d say the odds of Gene Robinson being
approved by General Convention are 4 to 1 in favor. And when that
happens you will read and hear how the Episcopal Church is about to
fly apart and self-destruct.
I
would urge you not to believe that.
I
would urge you to believe this instead: “all will be well….”
One
thing the Episcopal Church is blessed with in abundance is
“imagination.” We will walk on the waters…. And all will be
well….
#32
by Elizabeth Geitz, a Canon at the Cathedral of the Diocese of New
Jersey: “The Episcopal Church taught me that Jesus came to
challenge, not just comfort; to overturn, not maintain; to love, not
judge; to include, not cast aside.
Most
likely the Convention will also vote on whether or not to ask the
Standing Liturgical Commission to prepare a ritual for the blessing
of committed relationships outside of marriage. No matter what you
hear in the media—General Convention is not voting to
approve “gay marriages”.
“Marriage”
is a function of the state, not the church, so General Convention has
no say in “marriage law”. Because of Connecticut state law, an
Episcopal priest can legally sign a marriage license as an “agent
of the state”. What I do, as a priest, in a marriage, is ask
God’s blessing on the commitment and fidelity of the man and woman.
What General Convention will most likely consider is whether there
should be a service to bless the monogamous, faithful, life-long
relationship of two people that is not marriage. The
resolution is, in one way, separating what the “church does” from
what the “state does.” If that resolution passes—and I’d put
the odds at 2 to 1 in favor of it passing—the church will develop,
over the next three years, a ritual to bless “relationships”
other than marriage.
If
that resolution passes, you will hear that Liberals and Conservatives
are about to tear our church apart. I’d urge you to suspend your
judgment and remember this: “all will be well, all manner of things
will be well….”
#
11, Barbara Ross, Diocese of Oregon: “At our best, Episcopalians
can respectfully disagree about a great many things—and still break
bread together.”
#13,
by Carter Heyward of Massachusetts, one of the first 7 women ordained
a priest…before the General Convention approved women’s
ordination: “We believe that love without justice is
sentimentality.”
There
is a sense of daja vu about all the media hype about
this year’s General Convention. The Episcopal Church and the
Anglican Communion, critics said, were about to implode and fragment
a quarter of a century ago over revision of the Prayer Book and the
ordination of women.
And
it is true that a small number of Episcopalians chose to leave the
church after those changes. But the great schism nay-sayers
predicted did not happen. We had the patience and imagination to walk
on stormy waters. And, if we in the Episcopal Church can find—in
the midst of great conflict and disagreement—if we can find “our
better selves” we can walk on waters again.
The
secret to our “imagination” as a church is that we
Episcopalians—deep-down, value “each other” more than we cling
to our divisions. And we are, as a church, dominated by a commitment
to Justice.
Reason
#62 of the 101 reasons to be an Episcopalian comes from Nancy Vogel
of the Diocese of Vermont: “Despite or perhaps because
of our present disagreements in the Episcopal Church I
am reminded that God calls us all together because we aren’t WHOLE
without each other.”
Reason
#68, a lay person from New York: “I love our church because we
don’t think UNITY means UNIFORMITY.”
“All
will be well” with us, if we can cling to our passionate commitment
to “be together” in the midst of deep differences. We
Episcopalians are the only denomination that is practiced at that.
Somehow, over our history, we have found the imagination necessary to
“belong to each other” even though we disagree. This is a
“lovingly loony” church. You don’t have to leave your questions
or your intellect or your deeply-held opinions outside the door to be
here and share in the sacrament with each other.
We
Episcopalians define our “identity” by our worship instead
of our dogma. When Queen Elizabeth the First was asked, centuries
ago, if members of her church should cross themselves during the
Eucharist, she said, wise beyond words: “none must, all may,
some should….”
That
is the openness and inclusiveness that is one-half of the genius and
glory of our church. The other half of that genius and glory is this:
we are the most “democratic” church in Christendom. We make our
decisions on small matters and great matters by “voting”.
I
was “elected” nearly 15 years ago to be your Rector. We “elect”
our bishops. The Presiding Bishop of the Church is “elected” by
the other bishops. The deputies to General Convention are “elected”
to vote for their Dioceses by their Diocesan Conventions. You “elect”
the vestry members that make the decisions about St. John’s. And
the Vestry makes decisions by “voting”.
The
Episcopal Church is a unique American institution, formed at the very
same time as our nation by some of the same people. And the founders
of our Church understood the wisdom of the founders of our nation—the
way to make decisions is by voting…majority rules…. Here in the
United States and here in the Episcopal Church, we don’t believe
“unity” means “uniformity”. We vote on difficult issues. Then
we move on, unified but not uniform. And we deeply,
profoundly value the “loyal opposition”.
An
“inclusive democracy” is what the Episcopal Church is. The “loyal
opposition” is greatly valued by the majority. That was true for
those who opposed women’s ordination and the 1979 Book of Common
Prayer. It will be true two weeks from now toward those who are
disappointed, broken and angry about whatever happens at General
Convention. They will be loved. They will be comforted. They will be
included. Without them, the church will not be whole.
“All
will be well…” It will take a while and some few may choose to
leave the church if I’m correct about how the votes will go. But
those who are happy about the “votes” won’t want anyone who is
unhappy about the “votes” to leave. If they leave it will be
their choice and their leaving will be mourned greatly.
And
this church will go on. We will welcome all to taste and see
how sweet the Lord’s Body and Blood truly is. We will value
everyone, no matter what they think or believe. We will never require
“uniformity” to have “unity”. And we will stand for love and
justice—love and justice and the wonder of God.
That
will not change. Not one iota, not one jot.
And
all will be well, all will be well, all manner of things will be
well….
What's the fuss? Tell me what's happening?
OK, I am admittedly and proudly a Left Wing Nut. I find myself, sometimes, to the left of the ACLU. I have credentials and street wise extreme Liberal smarts.
What I can't understand is the hullabaloo about the government having access to phone records and Internet information. For God's sake, everyone has access to that stuff. We live in a media culture where advertisers routinely send adds to me on line that they believe, because of my Internet material, I will be interested in.
If you have a cell phone and it is turned on, there are ways to know exactly where you are at any given moment. (I read lots of mystery novel and believe that is true!)
Besides, if you choose to put all sorts of personal information on Face Book or some other media, you have zero chance that your information won't be accessible to someone else. In fact, Face Book is designed to make your personal thoughts available to all your 'friends' and others as well. Just a fact. Sorry to bother you with facts....
I don't like in the least what I am subjected to in order to board an airplane. It is invasive, humiliating and awful.
Yet, I am willing to endure it, as much as I dislike it, to make sure I'm on an airplane with others who have no weapons or dangerous instruments. I'll take the embarrassment for that assurance.
So the National Security Council is gathering data from phones and the Internet. Since Amazon and Sears does too, I'm not too upset. Perhaps I am an unusual left winger in that I trust the government, especially this administration. So if they have access to my cell phone and computer, so be it. It's one of those times when a barter between privacy and security is worth the cost.
I KNOW that nothing is private when using devices like cell phones and your computer. By definition they are not private. It is, after all, "social media', which implies that everything you put out there in those ways, is 'available' to 'society'.
My advice would be this: If you don't want what you say on-line to be available, get the hell off Face Book and all the other outlets. Twitter not, neither Tumble....
I have a little green icon at the bottom of my computer screen that tells me my information is, for the most part, protected. When it turns orange, that little icon, I click on it and it runs a scan of less or more intensity to tell me that (for all it knows) what I write is safe.
I know damn well that 'nothings safe' out in cyberspace. And a lot worse people than the NSC can know all I write and all I say with just a few clicks.
Living in the "information age" means ALL information is public and accessible. I protect my privacy by never putting anything into social media I wouldn't mind telling anyone. Like this blog.
But I'm not paranoid about who can access my thoughts on line. I assume 'anyone' can. So I am careful. That's my advice. Guard your privacy by being private about it.
What I can't understand is the hullabaloo about the government having access to phone records and Internet information. For God's sake, everyone has access to that stuff. We live in a media culture where advertisers routinely send adds to me on line that they believe, because of my Internet material, I will be interested in.
If you have a cell phone and it is turned on, there are ways to know exactly where you are at any given moment. (I read lots of mystery novel and believe that is true!)
Besides, if you choose to put all sorts of personal information on Face Book or some other media, you have zero chance that your information won't be accessible to someone else. In fact, Face Book is designed to make your personal thoughts available to all your 'friends' and others as well. Just a fact. Sorry to bother you with facts....
I don't like in the least what I am subjected to in order to board an airplane. It is invasive, humiliating and awful.
Yet, I am willing to endure it, as much as I dislike it, to make sure I'm on an airplane with others who have no weapons or dangerous instruments. I'll take the embarrassment for that assurance.
So the National Security Council is gathering data from phones and the Internet. Since Amazon and Sears does too, I'm not too upset. Perhaps I am an unusual left winger in that I trust the government, especially this administration. So if they have access to my cell phone and computer, so be it. It's one of those times when a barter between privacy and security is worth the cost.
I KNOW that nothing is private when using devices like cell phones and your computer. By definition they are not private. It is, after all, "social media', which implies that everything you put out there in those ways, is 'available' to 'society'.
My advice would be this: If you don't want what you say on-line to be available, get the hell off Face Book and all the other outlets. Twitter not, neither Tumble....
I have a little green icon at the bottom of my computer screen that tells me my information is, for the most part, protected. When it turns orange, that little icon, I click on it and it runs a scan of less or more intensity to tell me that (for all it knows) what I write is safe.
I know damn well that 'nothings safe' out in cyberspace. And a lot worse people than the NSC can know all I write and all I say with just a few clicks.
Living in the "information age" means ALL information is public and accessible. I protect my privacy by never putting anything into social media I wouldn't mind telling anyone. Like this blog.
But I'm not paranoid about who can access my thoughts on line. I assume 'anyone' can. So I am careful. That's my advice. Guard your privacy by being private about it.
Tuesday, June 4, 2013
Guilt and Stupid
"Guilt", someone once told me, "goes away."
And it does, if you think about it. Unless you were raised Roman Catholic in parochial schools or Orthodox Jewish, you might feel bad about something you did/said/didn't do/didn't say for a while, but then you get tired of feeling guilty and just stop. The human brain can, in most cases, only sustain guilt for a while.
Stupid, on the other hand, endures and endures.
I read an article the other day about David Bartman, who is described as a 'former Evangelical pastor' and a 'conservative activist'. In a May 9 sermon (what's a 'former' pastor doing preaching?) said that a Christian couldn't drink Starbucks coffee and be Biblically faithful since Starbucks, as a company, supports gay marriage.
Well, I shouldn't be so fast to judge. I have avoided Denny's since some racial stuff about that restaurant chain and Home Depot because they are anti-gay in some way. It's ok, in my mind, to avoid certain retailers out of a political position. But when you bring the Bible into it and say "Christians can't do thus and so" it changes it all for me.
I'm just getting really tired of stupid.
Since there are few, if any, Native Americans in the U.S. Congress, it seems obvious that all of them, somewhere in their families' past, came from somewhere else. And yet the hysteria over an Immigration Policy giving those without papers and without a criminal record a path to citizenship would make you think most Republicans are Cherokee or Apache. Decent, hardworking people who left their country of origin to come here for a better life, deserve a chance at it, just like my ancestors had.
And the irrational hatred of President Obama and most anything he supports must, if seems to me, be motivated by some sort of racism (conscious or unconscious).
And the shit about guns...give me a break! "Guns don't kill people, people kill people," is the lamest and among the most stupid things I've ever heard. Let's accept it on face value. Which would you like to come face-to-face with: a person who wants to kill you with a gun or a person who wants to kill you with a #2 Dixon Ticonderoga pencil?
'Nuff said about stupid when it comes to guns.
An Oxford Neuroscientist named Kathleen Taylor, has recently opined that religious fundamentalism could be treated as a mental illness.
Well, I'm glad someone besides me thinks that. It's obvious to me that strapping an explosive device to yourself and blowing up innocent people is crazy. So is an irrational hatred of people different from you. So is an inflexible adherence to doctrine and dogma someone centuries ago made up out of smoke and mirrors.
Maybe there should be a special ward in every mental hospital for folks suffering from Tea Party Stress Syndrome.
(I'll feel bad for a while about being so harsh on these people I consider stupid. Who put me in charge of deciding who is stupid, after all? But guilt, as I've been told, goes away.
Stupid endures.)
And it does, if you think about it. Unless you were raised Roman Catholic in parochial schools or Orthodox Jewish, you might feel bad about something you did/said/didn't do/didn't say for a while, but then you get tired of feeling guilty and just stop. The human brain can, in most cases, only sustain guilt for a while.
Stupid, on the other hand, endures and endures.
I read an article the other day about David Bartman, who is described as a 'former Evangelical pastor' and a 'conservative activist'. In a May 9 sermon (what's a 'former' pastor doing preaching?) said that a Christian couldn't drink Starbucks coffee and be Biblically faithful since Starbucks, as a company, supports gay marriage.
Well, I shouldn't be so fast to judge. I have avoided Denny's since some racial stuff about that restaurant chain and Home Depot because they are anti-gay in some way. It's ok, in my mind, to avoid certain retailers out of a political position. But when you bring the Bible into it and say "Christians can't do thus and so" it changes it all for me.
I'm just getting really tired of stupid.
Since there are few, if any, Native Americans in the U.S. Congress, it seems obvious that all of them, somewhere in their families' past, came from somewhere else. And yet the hysteria over an Immigration Policy giving those without papers and without a criminal record a path to citizenship would make you think most Republicans are Cherokee or Apache. Decent, hardworking people who left their country of origin to come here for a better life, deserve a chance at it, just like my ancestors had.
And the irrational hatred of President Obama and most anything he supports must, if seems to me, be motivated by some sort of racism (conscious or unconscious).
And the shit about guns...give me a break! "Guns don't kill people, people kill people," is the lamest and among the most stupid things I've ever heard. Let's accept it on face value. Which would you like to come face-to-face with: a person who wants to kill you with a gun or a person who wants to kill you with a #2 Dixon Ticonderoga pencil?
'Nuff said about stupid when it comes to guns.
An Oxford Neuroscientist named Kathleen Taylor, has recently opined that religious fundamentalism could be treated as a mental illness.
Well, I'm glad someone besides me thinks that. It's obvious to me that strapping an explosive device to yourself and blowing up innocent people is crazy. So is an irrational hatred of people different from you. So is an inflexible adherence to doctrine and dogma someone centuries ago made up out of smoke and mirrors.
Maybe there should be a special ward in every mental hospital for folks suffering from Tea Party Stress Syndrome.
(I'll feel bad for a while about being so harsh on these people I consider stupid. Who put me in charge of deciding who is stupid, after all? But guilt, as I've been told, goes away.
Stupid endures.)
Friday, May 31, 2013
Not so fast, you atheists...
OK, so last week in a homily (all of which he gives without notes) Pope Francis (who I really like, much to my surprise and amazement) said that even Atheists who do good works are redeemed by Christ and will meet the Christians "there". Whether 'there' meant heaven or not left the door open for the Vatican to 'clarify' what the pontiff meant.
All people are 'redeemed' the theologians in Rome (who are going to have a lot of work on their hands if Francis continues down the road I hope he will) but to be 'saved' and, like go to heaven (whatever that means) you have to accept your redemption and accept Jesus as your Savior.
Which reminds me of a wonderful joke:
Q. Do you know the difference between a terrorist and a theologian?
A. You can negotiate with a terrorist....
The Vatican's 'clarification' about the Pope's misstatement about the salvation of atheists made two groups very happy. Conservative, dogmatic Christians and atheists!
The last thing, I imagine, an atheist wants to hear is that the God they don't believe in is going to save them despite their unbelief. Imagine how frustrating that would be: here you are, not even believing in a God, much less a God who is going to 'save' you, and the Pope, the most visible Christian in the world, tells you the God you don't believe in is going to 'save' you whether you want to be 'saved' or not. What a quandary!
Now you have to not believe in a God that, according to the Pope, believes in you! Wasn't that a line from "Hair"? Or am I misremembering (to quote George W. Bush)?
When I was a student at Virginia Theological Seminary in Alexandria, the largest Episcopal seminary and the one with the most money, Dr. Richard Reid was interrupted in the midst of a lecture on the theology of the New Testament by a very conservative student who asked, "Dean Reid, what you're saying sounds a lot like 'universalism' to me."
Dick paused for nearly a minute. Then he answered, "I would describe my theology as 'Hopeful Universalism'."
The student got up and left the room in disgust.
I guess I've never gotten the whole thing about Christianity that says if you're not a Christian, you can't be saved. Some of the most Christ-like people I've known have been Jews and Muslims and Buddhists and non-believers. I have no problem at all imagining sharing the Realm of God with them. Lots of Christians, it seems to me, aren't satisfied that God will save them, they need God to 'not save' all the others.
Was it Mark Twain that said, "it is not enough that I should succeed, my friends must fail...."?
To be flip, that doesn't sound very 'Christian' does it?
Religious people of all ilks, over the endless centuries, have killed each other for not believing as they did. And when that failed, they turned on their own and burned the heretics.
I'm not an atheist. But I am a heretic. Bishop Jim Curry even gave me a lapel button that says "HERETIC". I wear it with pride.
I just think religious folk should 'get over themselves' and accept the goodness in those unlike them as the goodness of God.
But then, that's just me talkin'.....
All people are 'redeemed' the theologians in Rome (who are going to have a lot of work on their hands if Francis continues down the road I hope he will) but to be 'saved' and, like go to heaven (whatever that means) you have to accept your redemption and accept Jesus as your Savior.
Which reminds me of a wonderful joke:
Q. Do you know the difference between a terrorist and a theologian?
A. You can negotiate with a terrorist....
The Vatican's 'clarification' about the Pope's misstatement about the salvation of atheists made two groups very happy. Conservative, dogmatic Christians and atheists!
The last thing, I imagine, an atheist wants to hear is that the God they don't believe in is going to save them despite their unbelief. Imagine how frustrating that would be: here you are, not even believing in a God, much less a God who is going to 'save' you, and the Pope, the most visible Christian in the world, tells you the God you don't believe in is going to 'save' you whether you want to be 'saved' or not. What a quandary!
Now you have to not believe in a God that, according to the Pope, believes in you! Wasn't that a line from "Hair"? Or am I misremembering (to quote George W. Bush)?
When I was a student at Virginia Theological Seminary in Alexandria, the largest Episcopal seminary and the one with the most money, Dr. Richard Reid was interrupted in the midst of a lecture on the theology of the New Testament by a very conservative student who asked, "Dean Reid, what you're saying sounds a lot like 'universalism' to me."
Dick paused for nearly a minute. Then he answered, "I would describe my theology as 'Hopeful Universalism'."
The student got up and left the room in disgust.
I guess I've never gotten the whole thing about Christianity that says if you're not a Christian, you can't be saved. Some of the most Christ-like people I've known have been Jews and Muslims and Buddhists and non-believers. I have no problem at all imagining sharing the Realm of God with them. Lots of Christians, it seems to me, aren't satisfied that God will save them, they need God to 'not save' all the others.
Was it Mark Twain that said, "it is not enough that I should succeed, my friends must fail...."?
To be flip, that doesn't sound very 'Christian' does it?
Religious people of all ilks, over the endless centuries, have killed each other for not believing as they did. And when that failed, they turned on their own and burned the heretics.
I'm not an atheist. But I am a heretic. Bishop Jim Curry even gave me a lapel button that says "HERETIC". I wear it with pride.
I just think religious folk should 'get over themselves' and accept the goodness in those unlike them as the goodness of God.
But then, that's just me talkin'.....
Thursday, May 30, 2013
Abundance
LUSH (though that word feels so rich in my mouth, so wondrous, so full, so complete) doesn't do the plants in our yards justice this year.
We have six or seven rhododendron bushes in our yards--two in front of our front porch, one to the east in the front and 3 around our back deck. Rhododendron is the state flower of West Virginia, by the way, though some minority of folks back home call it mountain laurel. It is wild and profuse along the mountain roads where I come from, deep pink in its glory. And our rhododendron this year are more blossom than leaves, huge blossoms, some as big as my head (and I have a big head--7 and 5/8, thank you very much). I've never seen anything like it. When you sit on our back deck, the blossoms hang down around you from a ten foot high bush. And the bees are busy indeed, but they won't bother you because, they too, realize the abundance of this year's growth.
And our snowball tree (I don't know the real name for it--the blossoms are round and white and usually the size of a tennis ball) but this year they are the size of softballs and are nearly weighing down the branches to the ground.
And our two broom bushes (again, I know no other name) one in the front yard and one in the back, have not simply recovered from the damage of the winter's snow--they are luxuriating in their yellow flowers, tinted with red in the middle.
The ground cover purple flowers and the many ferns are way ahead of where they should be, considering what a cool spring it has been.
The now gone tulips and jonquils were astonishing as well. Even the 80 foot horse chestnut tree in our front yard that I thought was dead ten years ago is full and flowering, dropping worm looking things all over the yard.
Have any of you noticed in your yard, or driving around Connecticut, how lush and abundant this year is turning out?
The deep purple (almost black) irises in the front yard, beside the drive-way, are about to pop. They seem taller and sturdier than I ever remember.
Everything seems full of life and abundant.
I don't know if you'd pondered what all this floral abundance is about. I know Bern and I have, wondering over it, comparing theories.
My theory is this: the odd hot spell two months ago and all the rain lately.
Her's has more to do with the way the winter went.
Who knows?
But, for whatever reason, our yards are chock-a-block full of Abundance.
There is a poem by Anne Sexton that ends like this:
"...Then the well spoke to me.
It said: Abundance is scooped from abundance,
yet abundance remains."
That's how I feel, wherever I go these days, about the lush, abundance all around me.
Maybe it's just more than the plants. Maybe Abundance is just showing up....
Who knows? Something to ponder as the heat sets in this day....
We have six or seven rhododendron bushes in our yards--two in front of our front porch, one to the east in the front and 3 around our back deck. Rhododendron is the state flower of West Virginia, by the way, though some minority of folks back home call it mountain laurel. It is wild and profuse along the mountain roads where I come from, deep pink in its glory. And our rhododendron this year are more blossom than leaves, huge blossoms, some as big as my head (and I have a big head--7 and 5/8, thank you very much). I've never seen anything like it. When you sit on our back deck, the blossoms hang down around you from a ten foot high bush. And the bees are busy indeed, but they won't bother you because, they too, realize the abundance of this year's growth.
And our snowball tree (I don't know the real name for it--the blossoms are round and white and usually the size of a tennis ball) but this year they are the size of softballs and are nearly weighing down the branches to the ground.
And our two broom bushes (again, I know no other name) one in the front yard and one in the back, have not simply recovered from the damage of the winter's snow--they are luxuriating in their yellow flowers, tinted with red in the middle.
The ground cover purple flowers and the many ferns are way ahead of where they should be, considering what a cool spring it has been.
The now gone tulips and jonquils were astonishing as well. Even the 80 foot horse chestnut tree in our front yard that I thought was dead ten years ago is full and flowering, dropping worm looking things all over the yard.
Have any of you noticed in your yard, or driving around Connecticut, how lush and abundant this year is turning out?
The deep purple (almost black) irises in the front yard, beside the drive-way, are about to pop. They seem taller and sturdier than I ever remember.
Everything seems full of life and abundant.
I don't know if you'd pondered what all this floral abundance is about. I know Bern and I have, wondering over it, comparing theories.
My theory is this: the odd hot spell two months ago and all the rain lately.
Her's has more to do with the way the winter went.
Who knows?
But, for whatever reason, our yards are chock-a-block full of Abundance.
There is a poem by Anne Sexton that ends like this:
"...Then the well spoke to me.
It said: Abundance is scooped from abundance,
yet abundance remains."
That's how I feel, wherever I go these days, about the lush, abundance all around me.
Maybe it's just more than the plants. Maybe Abundance is just showing up....
Who knows? Something to ponder as the heat sets in this day....
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
Back porch ponderings
Out on the back porch tonight,
watching the distant heat lightening,
illuminate the dark clouds,
drinking a glass of wine:
I started wondering
if a hundred years from now
anyone will remember that,
for a brief time, I lived upon
this huge, stormy marble
lost in the infinitude
of mostly empty space?
Will anyone remind another
that I actually was, or,
will I be obliterated from
all human memory?
I sometimes speak of people long dead
who I never really knew.
Like great-uncle Hovie,
a bachelor farmer,
who died in his rocking chair
and wasn't found for two days.
How they tied him down
in my great-grandmothers living room
for his wake and
how at two or three in the morning,
everyone sleepy and some
a little drunk,
the rope slipped and Hovie sat up,
ending forever the practice
of wakes
in the Bradley family.
Like my great grandfather
who came over from Ireland
with two brothers
during bad times.
How they got into such a fight
on the boat that
when they arrived
at Ellis Island
they gave false names
so they could never find each other
in this broad, new land and
how to add insult to injury,
my great-grandfather
changed his name from O'Connor
to "Jones"--a Welsh name--
to prove forever the DNA deep
resentments of the Irish.
Like my uncle Leon,
my mother's brother,
who died at 12
from what must have been
a brain tumor.
How he suffered so greatly
and with such courage and
how every member of my my mother's
family kept a haunting picture
of him in their living rooms,
his face made old by suffering and
how I studied that picture
over and again
pondering what it must be like
to die young
and to be so loved.
A century from now,
will anyone know any stories
about my life?
Will my grandchildren
tell their grandchildren
something of me--
some memory of theirs
that will pass on through
my blood to theirs?
Some little thing would be enough:
like how I let them brush
and put barrettes
in my hair
or I bought them gelato
from the little store
in Baltimore
or just how much I loved them....
Or will, as I fear,
texting replace family stories
and Face Book
be the length of our memories,
while the lore of those who share your genes,
long dead, dies as well?
jgb
watching the distant heat lightening,
illuminate the dark clouds,
drinking a glass of wine:
I started wondering
if a hundred years from now
anyone will remember that,
for a brief time, I lived upon
this huge, stormy marble
lost in the infinitude
of mostly empty space?
Will anyone remind another
that I actually was, or,
will I be obliterated from
all human memory?
I sometimes speak of people long dead
who I never really knew.
Like great-uncle Hovie,
a bachelor farmer,
who died in his rocking chair
and wasn't found for two days.
How they tied him down
in my great-grandmothers living room
for his wake and
how at two or three in the morning,
everyone sleepy and some
a little drunk,
the rope slipped and Hovie sat up,
ending forever the practice
of wakes
in the Bradley family.
Like my great grandfather
who came over from Ireland
with two brothers
during bad times.
How they got into such a fight
on the boat that
when they arrived
at Ellis Island
they gave false names
so they could never find each other
in this broad, new land and
how to add insult to injury,
my great-grandfather
changed his name from O'Connor
to "Jones"--a Welsh name--
to prove forever the DNA deep
resentments of the Irish.
Like my uncle Leon,
my mother's brother,
who died at 12
from what must have been
a brain tumor.
How he suffered so greatly
and with such courage and
how every member of my my mother's
family kept a haunting picture
of him in their living rooms,
his face made old by suffering and
how I studied that picture
over and again
pondering what it must be like
to die young
and to be so loved.
A century from now,
will anyone know any stories
about my life?
Will my grandchildren
tell their grandchildren
something of me--
some memory of theirs
that will pass on through
my blood to theirs?
Some little thing would be enough:
like how I let them brush
and put barrettes
in my hair
or I bought them gelato
from the little store
in Baltimore
or just how much I loved them....
Or will, as I fear,
texting replace family stories
and Face Book
be the length of our memories,
while the lore of those who share your genes,
long dead, dies as well?
jgb
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)