From hitting kids to hitting Obama

The latest tempest in a teapot haunting our president is that he got off a helicopter in New York City this morning and saluted the service members saluting him with a coffee cup in his right (saluting) hand.

The Internet is outraged. Fox News probably needs a new studio for the anger/bitterness/hatred that will provide toward the Commander in Chief.

First of all, I saw a photo of George W. Bush getting off a helicopter and saluting the troops while holding his Scottie dog...lots heavier than a coffee cup.

Second of all, he's the Commander in Chief for goodness sakes. He doesn't have to have military bearing to salute. He could give them a wave or just nod. He's their boss, don't you get that? So he's carrying coffee and salutes...what's the problem? Really?

I don't know if I've said this before here, but I've said it over and over in other parts of my life--the biggest and actually, only, problem Obama has at being President is that he's Black.

Have you ever heard such minute and minuscule complaints about a President before? Really. Ask yourself.

It's just like all the people who get pulled over by cops in Cheshire for DWB or DWH. I've lived here since 1989 and I guarantee you a majority of people I've seen pulled over in Cheshire have been either Black or Hispanic and not many of either live here. And I'm not picking on Cheshire--I'm sure it is true most places...even places who have a majority Black or Hispanic population.

The Race Issue is still buried and disguised by the illusion and dangerous mis-truth that we, in this society, are in a post-racial age. The President is Black. Lots of athletes and entertainers are Black. Everyone loves Shakira, for goodness sake, we're passed all that, really....An Enlightened Society, we are....

Bullshit!

The invective and hatred of President Obama all gets root and grows from a deep and abiding and probably never ending racism of a dwindling segment of the American population. We white folks, beloved, are soon going to be in the minority--there will be more Blacks, Hispanics and Asians in this country than Caucasians. Suck it up. Get used to it. White America is going color.

If you pay the least bit of attention to anything I write here, if you care at all, I really ask you to ponder and dwell on where, besides racism, the invective and harshness toward President Obama could come from? That and knowing the time is passing away for the White majority.

The Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff could salute with a coffee cup in his hand and no one would notice or care. It happens all the time. The great thing about salutes is how sloppy they are!

What is it that has made so many people so vitriolically and steadfastly oppose our President, just because he's President, if it isn't his race?

Ponder that please, for all our souls sake....

Nearly the last word I have on adults hitting kids....

Actually, it's not 'my' word at all. It's my friend, Fred's. Then, actually, it's not Fred's word either--it comes from Matthew 18:6 and I'm embarrassed to say I didn't think of it when I was ranting about how adults shouldn't hit kids.

Matthew 18:6: "If anyone of you put a stumbling block before one of these little ones who believe in my, it would be better for you if a great millstone were fastened around your neck and you were drowned in the depths of the sea."

I'd say hitting children was a stumbling block of some great measure. Thanks, Fred, for reminding me.

I did make an allusion to what comes right before that, but Matthew says it much better than I did.

Matthew 18:1-5: "At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, 'Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?' He called a child, whom he put among them, and said, 'Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever becomes humble like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. Whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me.'"

Both quotes are from the New Revised Standard Version of the bible.

Over the course of my ministry, I have had a few people come to me to complain about how distracting the children in the sanctuary were. I've usually told them, kindly and without rancor, "better get used to it if you plan to be in the kingdom...."

OK, I know I'm 'on it' about this. I'll 'get off it', but it just seems so abundantly clear to me that no adult should ever hit a child that I might 'get on it' again sometime....

Elbow redux...

OK, you know you're getting elderly when you talk too much about your aches and pains....I get it.

However, back to my elbow. Yesterday it seemed much better but when I woke up at 6 because of the dull ache--something different than pain from movement--it was clear I needed to have it looked at.

I wasn't sure I could get in to see my GP on short notice, so I went to Mid-State's Urgent Care about a mile away. I was their first patient after they opened at 8 and I'd had good experience with them. However, rather than ordering an X-ray to rule out any structural problem, the doctor just prescribed prednizone. I know about steroids--they mask symptoms until the body can heal.

I wasn't happy with that and called to see if I could see Dr. Olsen and sure enough, I could at 2. So I didn't get the prednizone. Dr. Olsen put me on a anti-inflammatory and sent me for a blood test to rule out uric acid (gout) and an X-ray. He didn't think the steroid was a good idea either.

Lo and behold, I  have a bone spur in my elbow. I looked 'elbow bone spur' up on line and found out a lot of people have them but they never cause pain. But the symptoms in the articles are exactly what I'm experiencing. I have an appointment with the orthopedist who operated on the elbow years ago to see if I need some more surgery. The procedure I read about is not serious, probably one day surgery.

I don't know why I waited almost two weeks to go see about it. Is it that I just thought I could imagine it away or didn't want to know or figured I could tough it out and it would go away.

I need to think through that and ponder it. Why did I put up with pain for two weeks?

I remember once, when Mimi came home and had laundry, I went down in the basement with her and showed her the rubber mat to stand on so the dryer wouldn't shock her. She looked at me like you would look at a blithering idiot and said, 'get a new dryer!' I did, the next day.

I tend to make the best of a bad situation too much. I call it optimism. It's probably closer to stubbornness and stupidity. Probably....

Spare the rod and spoil the child

I've been thinking since yesterday about 'spare the rod and spoil the child' which most people believe is in the Bible. It isn't. That phrase comes from a poem by Samuel Butler in 1644.

What IS in the Bible is Proverbs 13.24: "Those who spare the rod hate their children, but those who love them are diligent to discipline them."

So the 'spare...spoil' line is from a 17th Century poet, not Proverbs!

Let's ponder what a 'rod' is for a moment.

The two instruments of a biblical time shepherd were 'the rod and the staff'.

The rod was a piece of wood about 5 feet long and the staff was longer, usually taller than the shepherd and had a crook on the end--the model for the crozier a bishop carries.

The rod was used to literally, 'keep the sheep in line'. It was not used to hit them, but to guide them by leaning it against their side to make them change direction.

I know a bit about sheep, and hitting them does about as much good as hitting children does. A sheep has no idea what a blow means and will simply try to get away--but a gentle push on the side...a sheep understands to move the way he/she is being guided.

The staff, with it's hook, was to help sheep go down hills or up hills by being hooked around their neck and giving them a pull.

Remember Psalm 23, how the shepherd 'maketh me to lie down' and 'leadeth me beside still waters'. How the Lord 'leadeth me in the paths of righteousness' and how even 'in the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil, for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me."

How could a weapon 'comfort' anyone?

The Biblical 'rod' is an instrument of discipline, certainly--but a discipline of guiding and leading, not of punishment.

So, next time you hear someone say that the Bible says, "spare the rod and spoil the child" you'll know it doesn't! And you'll be able to give some insight in to the guidance and encouragement and even 'comfort' of being gently being put back on the right path, without any violence.

Here's something to ponder: how could so many people be so wrong about what they think is in the Bible? And, more importantly, is that the only thing they are wrong about.

And always remember, Jesus said, "let the little children come to me" and "to enter the Kingdom of Heaven, you must become like a little child" and  Isaiah said, "a little child shall lead them...."

Just some things to ponder while you're pondering whether it's a parent's right to hit their children....

Hitting kids

I listened to an hour long conversation on Public Radio about 'corporal punishment'--the nicer way of saying 'hitting kids'.

All the evidence of much scientific study proves that 'hitting kids' doesn't work in any way. In fact, 'hitting kids' has bad results--humiliation and withdrawal, later violence, no change in behavior.

I was never hit as a kid. Bern wasn't either. So we didn't hit Josh and Mimi (though I did put my fist through a wall in New Haven when Josh did something I could not abide.) And, so far as I know, Josh and Cathy have never hit their kids.

Here's the first question (AND maybe the 'only' question) to ask: why is it a crime to hit another adult and not a crime to hit your kid?

Did you know that the US is the nation that most often hits kids? Many Western nations and nations in the second and third world, have made hitting your kid a crime.

It doesn't fuckin' work! Hitting your kid has no effect whatsoever on future behavior. So why do we still do it?

Here's an interesting fact: a much larger percentage of 'born again Christians' hit their kids than other populations. Something about 'spare the rod and spoil the child' kind of mentality.

And people who were hit as children tend to a much greater degree to hit their children than parents who weren't hit as children.

It's about breaking the cycle, as so many things are.

When you hit someone--your wife or husband, your kid, another adult--you have already lost control of the situation. "Hitting" is the last resort. So, if you are hitting you've already lost the strands that would make for a healthy relationship. When you hit your child it is about 'you' not them. They learn nothing and gain nothing from the hitting. You channel your frustration into striking out but don't learn anything or gain anything from the violence inflicted on a helpless, defenseless child.

All this radio conversation was spurred by the accusations against Adrian Peterson, the MVP running back of the Minnesota Vikings who apparently switched his 4 year old so badly he needed emergency medical assistance.

By the way, a four year old doesn't have enough frontal cortex development to control their behavior. Hitting a four year old is like hitting a hedge-hog. No message gets through. Not at all.

I think we can thank the NFL, ironically, for giving us a forum to talk about domestic violence (Ray Rice and others) and hitting kids (Adrian Peterson).

It's long past time that both conversations should be gripping our culture.

In an ironic way, thank God for pro football players. Maybe now we can truly face the twin horrors of domestic violence and child abuse and not let ourselves off the hook.

(Interesting, isn't it, that it takes millionaires behaving badly to get us to pay attention?)

Autumn light

I was out on the deck when the light gets the way it only gets in Autumn--so rich, so full, like you can touch it and taste it and inhale it.

The Celtic folks called it 'the gloaming'--that time after sunset and before dark where magic and spirits and wonder and marvel might just show up.

The light in the gloaming is so wondrous...a bit off color, hazy almost, translucent.

Here's the song about it.

"Roamin' In The Gloamin'" is a popular love song written by Sir Harry Lauder in 1911. The song tells of a man and his sweetheart courting in the evening. The title comes from the chorus:

Roamin' in the gloamin' on the bonnie banks o' Clyde.

Roamin' in the gloamin' wae my lassie by my side.

When the sun has gone to rest,

That's the time we love the best.

O, it's lovely roamin' in the gloamin.!^[1]

The song was a hit for Lauder in both his music hall shows and his 1912 recording. It has been recorded numerous times since.

It happens most in Autumn. Keep an eye out for the Gloamin'.....

"That made it worth it...."

Somewhere, in the last few days, I either read or heard someone say, "that made it worth it."

Something, in life, made life 'worth it' for whoever said that, real or fictional. (I only read fiction these days--four or five books a week--no wonder I can't remember where I heard that.

But it made me think about 'what made it worth it' to live my life.

In my life as a priest I baptized almost 800 children and the rare adult. I was the celebrant at over 600 funerals. I was the one who pronounced almost 400 people married--including 2 same sex couples.

All of that 'made it worth it' to have been alive.

But as a man, I have raised two children who turned out better than I could have imagined.

And I have three remarkable grand-daughters who make my life golden.

And I've been married to Bern for 43 years--full of joy and pain and wonder and worry and fulfillment beyond anything I deserve.

All of that 'made it worth it' to be alive.

More than 'worth it'--amazing, astonishing, profound beyond belief.

I'm so grateful for having been alive. Really. Beyond reality--just perfect.

And I say 'thank you so much' to whatever powers that be, to God and Allah and Yahweh and Jesus and Buddha and Moses and Mohammed and all the others I'm forgetting. And the Goddess. And the stars in the sky and the planets in their courses and the Universe itself.

Thank you.

It has been so 'worth it' I can't even put it into words....