buying a suit

I need a new suit for Mimi's wedding.

The problem is this: it's been so long since I bought a suit that I'm rather lost at sea trying to do it.

I've gone to Macy's in two malls and a Men's Warehouse in one, but there is no one there to help you and I have to take off my glasses to see sizes and when I see sizes I don't have a real good sense of what the suit looks like.

And, the last time I bought a suit in a real store, the pants and the coat came together. Now it seems, pants and suit jackets come separately.

I've been trying to remember when I last bought clothes in a real store and I can't remember. All the clothes I own now were either purchased in a consignment shop or Marshall's. For a decade or so, a lawyer in Cheshire, who was just my size, used to take his suits to the consignment shop and I bought them. But then that stopped. I hope he moved away rather than died.

So, screwing up my courage, I asked Bern if she'd go with me tomorrow or Monday and help me buy a suit.

She was waiting for me to ask and so with her in tow, I think I might be able to do it.

Suits--indeed, all the clothes--these days seem to be very expensive...which is why I go to Marshall's and the consignment shop. I am much cheaper than you might imagine. I don't like to spend money on clothes--which is probably obvious to anyone who sees me with my clothes on.

But, for Mimi and Tim, I need a new suit.

And I'm committed to doing it, willing to suffer both pain and indignity to do so. I love them that much.

The Captain is leaving the ship

My father was in New York City, waiting to ship out to Europe in the second World War. People couldn't do enough for the troops, so someone gave him tickets to a Dodgers/Yankees World Series game. And he decided that whoever won would be 'his team'.

The Yankees won.

So, I grew up in southern West Virginia rooting for my father's team--the Yankees.

I remember being under the covers with my little transistor radio, hearing every third word from a Yankees broadcast.

But all things considered, I could have done much, much worse. What if he'd been given tickets to a Chicago Cubs game, for goodness sake?

The late news on Channel 6 is Bluefield, had a sports reporter that begin his segment by saying, "Let's see who the Yankees clobbered."

Being a kid in the mid-50's, rooting for the Yankees was like Christmas every day. I grew up with Mantle, Maris, Berra, Skowren, Whitey Ford, Andy Carey, Bobby Richardson, Elston Howard, Ralph Terry...on and on, one the great dynasties of sports history.

And I've loved the Yankees ever since.

Then came the Joe Torre years and Pettit, Posada, Mariano and Jeter.

Tonight is Derrik Jeter's last game at Yankee Stadium. I've been watching it on and off, trying to be there when Jeter is batting.

He doubled and scored a run in his first at bat.

He started a double play that was deemed true by video replay.

He had a walk-off single in the 9th to win the game 6-5.

He is the Captain. He is the man. After tonight he'll never play in New York again, except in Old Timers' Games.

Only five people of the thousands and thousands who've played major league baseball have more hits.

Pete Rose, much maligned, and Ty Cobb both have over four thousand hits.

Hank Aaron, Stan the Man Musial and Tris Speaker are the only other three that have more hits in their career than Derrik Jeter.

He walked the walk and talked (when he spoke) the talk.

He gave me so much and all I've given him is my admiration and applause.

Tonight in the Bronx, a era ends.

I will miss him so. Many will.

He was the definition of dependable.

Not a bad thing to be.

From hitting kids to hitting Obama

The latest tempest in a teapot haunting our president is that he got off a helicopter in New York City this morning and saluted the service members saluting him with a coffee cup in his right (saluting) hand.

The Internet is outraged. Fox News probably needs a new studio for the anger/bitterness/hatred that will provide toward the Commander in Chief.

First of all, I saw a photo of George W. Bush getting off a helicopter and saluting the troops while holding his Scottie dog...lots heavier than a coffee cup.

Second of all, he's the Commander in Chief for goodness sakes. He doesn't have to have military bearing to salute. He could give them a wave or just nod. He's their boss, don't you get that? So he's carrying coffee and salutes...what's the problem? Really?

I don't know if I've said this before here, but I've said it over and over in other parts of my life--the biggest and actually, only, problem Obama has at being President is that he's Black.

Have you ever heard such minute and minuscule complaints about a President before? Really. Ask yourself.

It's just like all the people who get pulled over by cops in Cheshire for DWB or DWH. I've lived here since 1989 and I guarantee you a majority of people I've seen pulled over in Cheshire have been either Black or Hispanic and not many of either live here. And I'm not picking on Cheshire--I'm sure it is true most places...even places who have a majority Black or Hispanic population.

The Race Issue is still buried and disguised by the illusion and dangerous mis-truth that we, in this society, are in a post-racial age. The President is Black. Lots of athletes and entertainers are Black. Everyone loves Shakira, for goodness sake, we're passed all that, really....An Enlightened Society, we are....

Bullshit!

The invective and hatred of President Obama all gets root and grows from a deep and abiding and probably never ending racism of a dwindling segment of the American population. We white folks, beloved, are soon going to be in the minority--there will be more Blacks, Hispanics and Asians in this country than Caucasians. Suck it up. Get used to it. White America is going color.

If you pay the least bit of attention to anything I write here, if you care at all, I really ask you to ponder and dwell on where, besides racism, the invective and harshness toward President Obama could come from? That and knowing the time is passing away for the White majority.

The Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff could salute with a coffee cup in his hand and no one would notice or care. It happens all the time. The great thing about salutes is how sloppy they are!

What is it that has made so many people so vitriolically and steadfastly oppose our President, just because he's President, if it isn't his race?

Ponder that please, for all our souls sake....

Nearly the last word I have on adults hitting kids....

Actually, it's not 'my' word at all. It's my friend, Fred's. Then, actually, it's not Fred's word either--it comes from Matthew 18:6 and I'm embarrassed to say I didn't think of it when I was ranting about how adults shouldn't hit kids.

Matthew 18:6: "If anyone of you put a stumbling block before one of these little ones who believe in my, it would be better for you if a great millstone were fastened around your neck and you were drowned in the depths of the sea."

I'd say hitting children was a stumbling block of some great measure. Thanks, Fred, for reminding me.

I did make an allusion to what comes right before that, but Matthew says it much better than I did.

Matthew 18:1-5: "At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, 'Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?' He called a child, whom he put among them, and said, 'Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever becomes humble like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. Whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me.'"

Both quotes are from the New Revised Standard Version of the bible.

Over the course of my ministry, I have had a few people come to me to complain about how distracting the children in the sanctuary were. I've usually told them, kindly and without rancor, "better get used to it if you plan to be in the kingdom...."

OK, I know I'm 'on it' about this. I'll 'get off it', but it just seems so abundantly clear to me that no adult should ever hit a child that I might 'get on it' again sometime....

Elbow redux...

OK, you know you're getting elderly when you talk too much about your aches and pains....I get it.

However, back to my elbow. Yesterday it seemed much better but when I woke up at 6 because of the dull ache--something different than pain from movement--it was clear I needed to have it looked at.

I wasn't sure I could get in to see my GP on short notice, so I went to Mid-State's Urgent Care about a mile away. I was their first patient after they opened at 8 and I'd had good experience with them. However, rather than ordering an X-ray to rule out any structural problem, the doctor just prescribed prednizone. I know about steroids--they mask symptoms until the body can heal.

I wasn't happy with that and called to see if I could see Dr. Olsen and sure enough, I could at 2. So I didn't get the prednizone. Dr. Olsen put me on a anti-inflammatory and sent me for a blood test to rule out uric acid (gout) and an X-ray. He didn't think the steroid was a good idea either.

Lo and behold, I  have a bone spur in my elbow. I looked 'elbow bone spur' up on line and found out a lot of people have them but they never cause pain. But the symptoms in the articles are exactly what I'm experiencing. I have an appointment with the orthopedist who operated on the elbow years ago to see if I need some more surgery. The procedure I read about is not serious, probably one day surgery.

I don't know why I waited almost two weeks to go see about it. Is it that I just thought I could imagine it away or didn't want to know or figured I could tough it out and it would go away.

I need to think through that and ponder it. Why did I put up with pain for two weeks?

I remember once, when Mimi came home and had laundry, I went down in the basement with her and showed her the rubber mat to stand on so the dryer wouldn't shock her. She looked at me like you would look at a blithering idiot and said, 'get a new dryer!' I did, the next day.

I tend to make the best of a bad situation too much. I call it optimism. It's probably closer to stubbornness and stupidity. Probably....

Spare the rod and spoil the child

I've been thinking since yesterday about 'spare the rod and spoil the child' which most people believe is in the Bible. It isn't. That phrase comes from a poem by Samuel Butler in 1644.

What IS in the Bible is Proverbs 13.24: "Those who spare the rod hate their children, but those who love them are diligent to discipline them."

So the 'spare...spoil' line is from a 17th Century poet, not Proverbs!

Let's ponder what a 'rod' is for a moment.

The two instruments of a biblical time shepherd were 'the rod and the staff'.

The rod was a piece of wood about 5 feet long and the staff was longer, usually taller than the shepherd and had a crook on the end--the model for the crozier a bishop carries.

The rod was used to literally, 'keep the sheep in line'. It was not used to hit them, but to guide them by leaning it against their side to make them change direction.

I know a bit about sheep, and hitting them does about as much good as hitting children does. A sheep has no idea what a blow means and will simply try to get away--but a gentle push on the side...a sheep understands to move the way he/she is being guided.

The staff, with it's hook, was to help sheep go down hills or up hills by being hooked around their neck and giving them a pull.

Remember Psalm 23, how the shepherd 'maketh me to lie down' and 'leadeth me beside still waters'. How the Lord 'leadeth me in the paths of righteousness' and how even 'in the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil, for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me."

How could a weapon 'comfort' anyone?

The Biblical 'rod' is an instrument of discipline, certainly--but a discipline of guiding and leading, not of punishment.

So, next time you hear someone say that the Bible says, "spare the rod and spoil the child" you'll know it doesn't! And you'll be able to give some insight in to the guidance and encouragement and even 'comfort' of being gently being put back on the right path, without any violence.

Here's something to ponder: how could so many people be so wrong about what they think is in the Bible? And, more importantly, is that the only thing they are wrong about.

And always remember, Jesus said, "let the little children come to me" and "to enter the Kingdom of Heaven, you must become like a little child" and  Isaiah said, "a little child shall lead them...."

Just some things to ponder while you're pondering whether it's a parent's right to hit their children....

Hitting kids

I listened to an hour long conversation on Public Radio about 'corporal punishment'--the nicer way of saying 'hitting kids'.

All the evidence of much scientific study proves that 'hitting kids' doesn't work in any way. In fact, 'hitting kids' has bad results--humiliation and withdrawal, later violence, no change in behavior.

I was never hit as a kid. Bern wasn't either. So we didn't hit Josh and Mimi (though I did put my fist through a wall in New Haven when Josh did something I could not abide.) And, so far as I know, Josh and Cathy have never hit their kids.

Here's the first question (AND maybe the 'only' question) to ask: why is it a crime to hit another adult and not a crime to hit your kid?

Did you know that the US is the nation that most often hits kids? Many Western nations and nations in the second and third world, have made hitting your kid a crime.

It doesn't fuckin' work! Hitting your kid has no effect whatsoever on future behavior. So why do we still do it?

Here's an interesting fact: a much larger percentage of 'born again Christians' hit their kids than other populations. Something about 'spare the rod and spoil the child' kind of mentality.

And people who were hit as children tend to a much greater degree to hit their children than parents who weren't hit as children.

It's about breaking the cycle, as so many things are.

When you hit someone--your wife or husband, your kid, another adult--you have already lost control of the situation. "Hitting" is the last resort. So, if you are hitting you've already lost the strands that would make for a healthy relationship. When you hit your child it is about 'you' not them. They learn nothing and gain nothing from the hitting. You channel your frustration into striking out but don't learn anything or gain anything from the violence inflicted on a helpless, defenseless child.

All this radio conversation was spurred by the accusations against Adrian Peterson, the MVP running back of the Minnesota Vikings who apparently switched his 4 year old so badly he needed emergency medical assistance.

By the way, a four year old doesn't have enough frontal cortex development to control their behavior. Hitting a four year old is like hitting a hedge-hog. No message gets through. Not at all.

I think we can thank the NFL, ironically, for giving us a forum to talk about domestic violence (Ray Rice and others) and hitting kids (Adrian Peterson).

It's long past time that both conversations should be gripping our culture.

In an ironic way, thank God for pro football players. Maybe now we can truly face the twin horrors of domestic violence and child abuse and not let ourselves off the hook.

(Interesting, isn't it, that it takes millionaires behaving badly to get us to pay attention?)