It's not that bad

My post yesterday was written in depression about getting older.

But it did end with "it's not that bad".

And it's not.

A lot better than the alternative.

I still have a full life at 74. I love my wife of 50+ years, my children and their families, our friends and all the churches I've served. Plus, I love my dog.

Cheshire is a dog-friendly town. Our three neighbors on this side of the street all have dogs. So do two of the three across the street and the one that doesn't had her dog die a few months ago.

Brigit is amazing. But she has a growth on her belly we thought was a nipple until Bern took her to the vet today. Next Wednesday they're going to remove it and clean her teeth while she's asleep from the surgery. She was a rescue from Georgia and her teeth are not good. She also is over-weight and we're cutting back on her food and treats.

Who isn't overweight during the Pandemic?

Me, that's who. When I visited the cardiologist my weight was 187. It was 219 a year or two ago.

I don't know why. I don't think I'm eating as much.

Anyway, that's good.

Lots in my aging life is very special and very good.

And even what isn't is better than the alternative.

 

OK, I get it...

This month I've had a blood test, an MRI, seen my Allergist, my Cardiologist, and will see my urologist on Friday, plus the two shots I get every month at Waterbury Hospital.

Next week I see two doctors and have another MRI about a heart valve issue.

OK, I get it--I'm getting older by the day.

I haven't wanted to admit it, but the evidence is clear.

I always take a book to the doctor's office since they are often so slow.

The Cardiologist is different. As soon and you sign in they take you to a room for blood pressure and EKG and the doctor comes in before I can read three pages.

I guess Cardiologists have to work fast.

I also use a cane every day.

I'm an old man.

It's hard to admit.

But I admit it.

I admit it.

It's not all that bad....

 

What a disaster!

The sermon I posted a few days ago was a disaster!

I had read the wrong lessons--they are for next Sunday.

I was lost in time.

When I got to church today and looked at the lessons in the bulletin, I knew what I had done.

I explained, at sermon time, what I had done wrong.

I then faked a sermon on the spot.

Several people told me what I had said was great.

I didn't believe them.

What a screw up!

I felt like an idiot....

 

Second in a row

I celebrated a Burial Office today at Trinity, Milford.

The one before was at St. John's, Waterbury. 

What they had in common was they were both funerals for a parent with an only child.

Since I am an only  child, they both reminded me of burying my parents.

Those two deaths--many years apart--we two of the few occasions I have ever wished I wasn't an only child.

(I tell the joke that whenever I begin to feel cheated by being an only child, I simply have to talk to someone with siblings!)

People were with me for both my mother's and my father's funerals, but none of them were going through the profound and painful regrets I was experiencing. The good times were very good with my parents, but their deaths caused me to remember how many times I disappointed them.

It would have been supportive to have brothers and sisters to share that with--they would have understood....

 

Sunday's sermon

Job is the most troubling book in the Bible.

        You all probably know the story—Job is a good and faithful man, a devout follower of God. Yet God hands Job over to Satan and Satan torments and punishes him and takes away all that he has.

          In last week’s reading, Job was covered in blisters and sitting in dust and ashes and even his wife says to him, “Job, curse God and die!”

          But Job will not curse God because that’s what Satan is trying to make him do. In the face of all his suffering and loss, even when he wishes he had never been born or had died in child-birth, Job remains faithful to God.

          Today we hear the end of Job’s story. God restores all his fortunes ten-fold and makes him a very rich man who lives another 140 years and sees 4 generations of his descendants before he dies in peace.

          Job’s suffering is not the issue to me—suffering is a part of human life--it is all around us. Many people, in this, the richest country in history, suffer hunger, fear, violence and illness.

          No, the issue to me is ‘why did God let Satan do this?’

          In fact, in the beginning of Job, it is God that brings him up to Satan—speaking of Job’s virtues. God lets Satan take Job’s earthly goods and cattle and even his children, but Job will not renounce God.

          Satan returns to God and tells Him, Let me touch his bone and flesh and he will curse you.

          So, God says to Satan, “Very well, he is in your power, only spare his life.”

          Not a very ‘God-like’ thing to do.

          Is it all a big Test of Job’s faith? A very cruel and un-holy test, indeed.

 

          Contrast Job with the blindman in today’s gospel lesson.

          Bartimaeus is a blind beggar who hears Jesus was passing by.

          He calls out to him and says, “Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!”

          The people in the crowd try to make him be quiet, but he calls out even louder, “Son of David, have mercy on me!”

          Jesus stops and says, “Call him here.”

          And Bartimaeus throws off his cloak and, blind though he may be, rushes to Jesus.

          Imagine a blind man rushing, bumping into others, tripping on unseen things.

          And when Jesus heals him, he says, “Go. Your Faith has made you well” and his sight returns.

          Maybe that is the meaning of Job’s story too—His Faith in God made him well!

          I just wish God had not let Satan have his way with Job.

          And I pray, that in hard times, our Faith will make us well….

 

Reading the Gospels side-by-side

Today was our next-to-last session at Trinity, Milton on reading the Gospels side-by-side. We read the crucifixion in all the Gospels. I'm always amazed, whenever I do this course, that people who know their Bible quite well are surprised by the different versions of the same story.

It will get ever stranger when we read the Resurrection narrative next week.

Each Gospel is different but we tend to think there is one story.

I posted my closing remarks for the class--'Knowing 4 Jesus' a while ago. You could go back and read it again.

Next, the Bible Study will take on the Gospel of Mary of Magdala. That will raise even more eyebrows.

It's a shame that so many so-called 'gnostic' gospels didn't make it into the Bible by the Council of Nicea in 325.

They give even more insight into how the early church perceived Jesus.

It's a mixed bag.

But we must remember "Jesus stories" were dispersed across the known world at the time. Many versions and interpretations.

It's amazing.

We need to know them all to know the Jesus we will chose to follow.

 

Halloween is coming (an old post)

Tomorrow is Halloween, the day before All Saints Day. There's a cartoon on a bulletin board at St. Andrew's, Northford, that shows a bishop with miter and crosier starting toward an Episcopal Church beside a sign that says, "All Saints Day--Bishop visits".

Two kids on bikes are near him. One says, "Hey, dude, great costume!" The other says, "doesn't he know Halloween was yesterday?"

In the Celtic world (which exists only in patches though it used to cover all the British Isles, some of France and some of Scandinavia) the end of October and the beginning of November is 'a Thin Time' when the barrier between this world and the next is permeable and can be crossed. The dead wandered the earth in the Thin Time. Once Christianity came, lo and behold, All Saints day fell into the Thin Time, so on All Hallows Eve, those from the other side of life came through the gauze between the living and the dead and wandered the streets looking for gifts.

That's where trick or treat and the costumes came from. All Hallows Eve shortened into Halloween and ghosts are among us.

I hated it as a child. I had 300/20 vision and couldn't wear my glasses under the masks and there were few streetlights and people ran by making spooky noises and I was terrified though I did like the candy the next few days.

In Latin cultures the big day is November 2--All Souls Day--a day to remember all the dead. For folks in Central and South America they have picnics beside graves of loved ones and believe they commune with those who've gone before.

A thin time in either case--a time to be aware of how porous the barrier really is.

I use these days to remember those I love but see no more. A Thin Time for me--Celt to the core.

My Mom and Dad, all my Aunts and Uncles, several cousins, and a lot--I mean 'a lot' of folks I served as a priest by celebrating their passing over.

I averaged nearly 50 funerals a year at St. John's in Waterbury. Since I was there 21 years that may be close to 1000. Many  of them I didn't know at all or only slightly. St. John's was one of those down-town churches people 'thought' they belonged to. So I did many of those funerals! But I celebrated the lives on many, many people I loved and mourned deeply.

Such is the lot of a priest. And not a bad lot by half. It is a humbling honor to be with someone on that last journey. I told the 25 or so seminarians I worked with over the years that funerals may be the most important thing a priest does. I believe that and have lived out of that my whole priesthood. I hope some of those I mentored agreed with me.

Since it is the eve of All Hallows Eve I'll go search for a chapter of my book (not published) about my priesthood and death. The title of the 'manuscript', since it's not a book really, is "Tell the Story, Tend the Fire, Pass the Wine"--which is my definition of what a priest 'does'. "Being" a priest is the essence of priesthood--but a priest 'does' some things: he/she tells the story of the family, keeps the hearth burning and celebrates the sacraments.

Look for the next thing if I can find it and figure out how to post it....

And, Happy Halloween!