The insect from hell

I went out on the back porch and a huge insect like nothing I've ever seen, smashed into my glasses and fell near the dog, who immediately ran out into the darkness of the deck. (Knowing, better than me, it seems, that the insect was drawn by the porch light.)

I, on the other hand, stayed put and had this monstrous creature with four wings and about 5 inches long swirl around my head. Finally, it landed on the wall and I got the terrified dog to come in with the terrified man.

I went upstairs and tried to describe the whole ordeal to Bern, who didn't seem to think it was so big a deal, so I kept enhancing the story, relying on the dog to back me up, and before I was through, the mystery insect had scales, teeth, a two inch stinger and the mystic ability to read my mind.

Bern still wasn't impressed. But then, she isn't scared of moths either, though their little hairy bodies drive me to the edge of horror.

(I heard on radio today that people in Australia eat locusts--they call them flying prawns. There are places where the farm insects the way they farm fish because they are becoming a more important form of protein.)

Our daughter Mimi used to eat ball-bugs when she was small. I don't know their real name but when you touch them they roll up into a ball. 'Crunch, crunch' would be the sound of Mimi eating ball bugs she found beneath rocks.

That creature on the back porch is now morphed into a Pterodactyl in my mind. 'Crunch, crunch' would have been the sound of it eating me and the Puli.

Yet, Bern is not appreciative of my terror...or the dog's....