First of all, I never keep them.
Second of all, when I don't, I feel bad.
I don't need to make resolutions that will make me feel bad.
So, let me make some I will certainly keep:
*I resolve never to drink yak milk
*I resolve never to vote for a Republican
*I resolve never to visit Poland
*I resolve never to take heroine
*I resolve to eat meat and fish and fowl
*I resolve to drink white wine
Those I can keep.
(all comments here are mine and mine alone)