Approaching my 64th birthday, I have come to realize what is my highest value, my core commitment.
It is this, simply this, only this: LOYALTY.
That would make me worthy to be a Knight of the Round Table or, on another level, a "made man" of the Mafia. Those two possibilities reflect light from two very different directions. Yet I know this: What I Value Most In Life = LOYALTY.
I have always told people who worked 'for/with' me that I would be as loyal to them as they were to me and I would 'have their back' no matter what, if they gave me their loyality.
(Here is a scary thing: I value Loyalty more than Truth. If you are loyal to me, I will be loyal to you, even when you LIE. There is something dangerous about that promise, that I know. But it is a promise I make and will keep. In response, when I 'lie', I expect loyalty to overcome your commitment to 'truth' and that you will 'loyal' to me even when I lie.)
Here's where the 'pondering' comes in. God's love, it seems to me, is a lot like that. God will love us...be loyal to us...even when we lie and screw up.
God love us in a loyal way. God will put up with our nonsense and un-truth and out-and-out lack on anything that can remotely be considered 'integrity', so long as we are 'loyal'. All that nonsense and un-truth and lack of integrity is, gosh, I think "who we are". And God loves us anyway.
I'm loyal to my friend when they are really off the chart messing up.
I'm loyal to my wife when I don't agree at all about what she wants to do and does even though I disagree.
I'm loyal to my children when they don't live their lives the way I would live them.
So, what else is new?
Loyalty is my highest value. Highest of all. Even more than Truth.
Ponder that and what it says about me. And ponder your highest value and how, if you can find a way, it is superior to Loyalty.
Go figure that out and let me know.
Monday, April 11, 2011
Puli nests
Bern has been cutting our Puli's hair for several days. She is a mama bear about what she is doing once she decides to do it.
One of the great differences between my wife and I is this: she is a compulsive 'finisher' and I am a remarkable 'starter'. I Start projects with a commitment that is focused and absolute. Bern 'completes' things in a way I never could. So, opposites do attract, I suppose.
Our Puli, Bela, has 'hair' not 'fur'. It keeps growing and growing, as yours does. So, either you have to cut it back or let it grow and help it form dreadlocks so that he looks like Bob Marley's head with four feet, a tail and a face. We did that when we first got him, 6 or 7 years ago. He looked like the Puli's you see at the Westminster Dog Show. He hated it and we hated it, so once or twice a year Bern really cuts his hair back so that doesn't happen.
She cuts on him a lot. But once or twice a year she gets obsessed with it all and really cuts his hair.
He now looks like a different dog. Though he still weighs 50 pounds or so, he looks 15 pounds lighter, a shadow of his former self.
One of the three or four days of Bern's compulsive cutting, she did it out on the deck. So Puli hair was everywhere...I'm not kidding, handfuls of it, a paper bag full, Puli's have lots of hair.
She planned to sweep that hair up, but when she went out there were a veritable flock of birds taking the hair to add to their nest.
So, I am so joyful that Bela's hair will warm the hatchlings of several species of birds. Puli hair is luxurious, fine and, I am sure, warm and soft.
What a gift our bad dog Puli has given. A whole generation of birds will profit from his spring hair cut....
One of the great differences between my wife and I is this: she is a compulsive 'finisher' and I am a remarkable 'starter'. I Start projects with a commitment that is focused and absolute. Bern 'completes' things in a way I never could. So, opposites do attract, I suppose.
Our Puli, Bela, has 'hair' not 'fur'. It keeps growing and growing, as yours does. So, either you have to cut it back or let it grow and help it form dreadlocks so that he looks like Bob Marley's head with four feet, a tail and a face. We did that when we first got him, 6 or 7 years ago. He looked like the Puli's you see at the Westminster Dog Show. He hated it and we hated it, so once or twice a year Bern really cuts his hair back so that doesn't happen.
She cuts on him a lot. But once or twice a year she gets obsessed with it all and really cuts his hair.
He now looks like a different dog. Though he still weighs 50 pounds or so, he looks 15 pounds lighter, a shadow of his former self.
One of the three or four days of Bern's compulsive cutting, she did it out on the deck. So Puli hair was everywhere...I'm not kidding, handfuls of it, a paper bag full, Puli's have lots of hair.
She planned to sweep that hair up, but when she went out there were a veritable flock of birds taking the hair to add to their nest.
So, I am so joyful that Bela's hair will warm the hatchlings of several species of birds. Puli hair is luxurious, fine and, I am sure, warm and soft.
What a gift our bad dog Puli has given. A whole generation of birds will profit from his spring hair cut....
Saturday, April 9, 2011
birthdays and other insignificant stuff
My birthday this year is on Palm Sunday. Pretty neat, I think.
My 33rd birthday, 31 years ago (now you know I'll be 64) was on Good Friday. I had just preached about the 7 last words of Christ, every one of them (God help us!) and was walking home from Trinity on the Green in New Haven, who had asked me to do the dastardly deed of preaching 7 times in three hours, the bells of Trinity started tolling 33 time--the age tradition tells us Jesus was on the first Good Friday.
"My God," I said to myself, crossing New Haven Green, "I'm as old as Jesus...."
My son, blood of my blood, flesh of my flesh, is now older than Jesus. My approaching birthday is fine--better than the alternative--but I feel a bit old.
My daughter, on the phone tonight from NYC, which is a real place, said, off handedly, because of something I said, "are you suddenly old?"
I replied, "No, I've been working on it for some time...."
{Warning, Warning, Warning--those who are faint of heart and don't think a priest can utter four letter words...stop reading now.}
OK, I've warned you properly.
Three things an older man should never do:
*Never get in a car without peeing first
*Never waste an erection
*Never assume it is only going to be a fart
Most of all that resides down lower than the brain.
A joke: A female brain cell, by mistake, gets into a male's brain. She is astonished that there are no other functioning brain cells around.
She calls out: "Hello! Hello! Hello!"
Faintly she hears, from way below, "Hello, we're all down here...."
***
Well, if you outlive Jesus by more than 3 decades and don't anticipate that your end is going to brutal, bloody and excruciatingly painful, that's something to aspire for, it seems to me.
Don't send me a birthday card--just write your birthday wishes on a $100 bill and send that in the mail....
Be well and stay well. May you live as long as I have....
My 33rd birthday, 31 years ago (now you know I'll be 64) was on Good Friday. I had just preached about the 7 last words of Christ, every one of them (God help us!) and was walking home from Trinity on the Green in New Haven, who had asked me to do the dastardly deed of preaching 7 times in three hours, the bells of Trinity started tolling 33 time--the age tradition tells us Jesus was on the first Good Friday.
"My God," I said to myself, crossing New Haven Green, "I'm as old as Jesus...."
My son, blood of my blood, flesh of my flesh, is now older than Jesus. My approaching birthday is fine--better than the alternative--but I feel a bit old.
My daughter, on the phone tonight from NYC, which is a real place, said, off handedly, because of something I said, "are you suddenly old?"
I replied, "No, I've been working on it for some time...."
{Warning, Warning, Warning--those who are faint of heart and don't think a priest can utter four letter words...stop reading now.}
OK, I've warned you properly.
Three things an older man should never do:
*Never get in a car without peeing first
*Never waste an erection
*Never assume it is only going to be a fart
Most of all that resides down lower than the brain.
A joke: A female brain cell, by mistake, gets into a male's brain. She is astonished that there are no other functioning brain cells around.
She calls out: "Hello! Hello! Hello!"
Faintly she hears, from way below, "Hello, we're all down here...."
***
Well, if you outlive Jesus by more than 3 decades and don't anticipate that your end is going to brutal, bloody and excruciatingly painful, that's something to aspire for, it seems to me.
Don't send me a birthday card--just write your birthday wishes on a $100 bill and send that in the mail....
Be well and stay well. May you live as long as I have....
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
The problem is General Electric
General Electric, part of all our lives for generations, apparently figured out how not to pay any corporate tax last year. The second largest international corporation in the world, after JP Morgan/Chase, paid less than you did in taxes.
Ponder that.
And the Republican/Tea Party folks are balancing the budget on the backs of the poor and lower middle class through cuts in medicare and Medicaid while GE paid no taxes.
Let me tell you up front: I have no dog in this fight. My SS won't be affected, my pension is great and I'm making money from part time priest stuff. Our credit rating is 895 or so and we haven't been late on a payment for a couple of decades. (Our credit rating is SO good that someone called Bern because she had lost--better and more accurately, I had misplaced--a bill. But instead of charging us a late fee, the company called, knowing the aging white man had screwed up and took the payment by credit card over the phone to save us any problems.
So, I'm going to live out my life not being troubled by the current madness about cutting the budget and paying down the deficit--WHICH I MUST REMIND YOU HAPPENED WHILE W BUSH WAS PRESIDENT...HE WAS GIVEN A BALANCED BUDGET AND NO DEFICIT BY THAT WILD TAX AND SPEND PRESIDENT CLINTON....
But cutting anything from social programs and mediciade while GE paid no taxes is insane.
I made more money in 2010 than ever in my life. My total income was several thousand dollars past 6 figures. I paid--ss and taxes combined, less than $9000. I'm getting money back from the Federal Government and only owe CT $700. I'm not complaining, but the truth is, people who make 10 times what I earned probably aren't paying much more than me.
I declare myself a 'tax the rich and support the poor" Democrat.
And I want GE to pay millions in taxes.
I will willingly pay twice as much in taxes as I do if GE will ante up and the rich will give up their G.W. Bush tax breaks.
The problem in the economy is that the rich and the corporations aren't paying anywhere near 'their fair share". No where near.
Republicans and Tea Party idiots need to ante up. Close the loopholes for corporations. Tax US based corporations for their overseas operations aggressively enough to make them bring those jobs back home. Tax imports enough to make American products desirable. Tax the rich and guard the poor as Jesus would...the poor are always with us and our responsibility.
Tax GE's profits, wherever they were made.
Good God, why is this so hard?
I'll pay more. Let's all pay more so long as GE and millionaires pay their fair share.
It doesn't seem that difficult to me.
All for one and one for all....
Works for me.
Ponder that.
And the Republican/Tea Party folks are balancing the budget on the backs of the poor and lower middle class through cuts in medicare and Medicaid while GE paid no taxes.
Let me tell you up front: I have no dog in this fight. My SS won't be affected, my pension is great and I'm making money from part time priest stuff. Our credit rating is 895 or so and we haven't been late on a payment for a couple of decades. (Our credit rating is SO good that someone called Bern because she had lost--better and more accurately, I had misplaced--a bill. But instead of charging us a late fee, the company called, knowing the aging white man had screwed up and took the payment by credit card over the phone to save us any problems.
So, I'm going to live out my life not being troubled by the current madness about cutting the budget and paying down the deficit--WHICH I MUST REMIND YOU HAPPENED WHILE W BUSH WAS PRESIDENT...HE WAS GIVEN A BALANCED BUDGET AND NO DEFICIT BY THAT WILD TAX AND SPEND PRESIDENT CLINTON....
But cutting anything from social programs and mediciade while GE paid no taxes is insane.
I made more money in 2010 than ever in my life. My total income was several thousand dollars past 6 figures. I paid--ss and taxes combined, less than $9000. I'm getting money back from the Federal Government and only owe CT $700. I'm not complaining, but the truth is, people who make 10 times what I earned probably aren't paying much more than me.
I declare myself a 'tax the rich and support the poor" Democrat.
And I want GE to pay millions in taxes.
I will willingly pay twice as much in taxes as I do if GE will ante up and the rich will give up their G.W. Bush tax breaks.
The problem in the economy is that the rich and the corporations aren't paying anywhere near 'their fair share". No where near.
Republicans and Tea Party idiots need to ante up. Close the loopholes for corporations. Tax US based corporations for their overseas operations aggressively enough to make them bring those jobs back home. Tax imports enough to make American products desirable. Tax the rich and guard the poor as Jesus would...the poor are always with us and our responsibility.
Tax GE's profits, wherever they were made.
Good God, why is this so hard?
I'll pay more. Let's all pay more so long as GE and millionaires pay their fair share.
It doesn't seem that difficult to me.
All for one and one for all....
Works for me.
Monday, April 4, 2011
head's up
A woman who walks her 95 pound yellow Lab when I'm walking my dog, was walking him while on the cell phone. He lunged at my dog, almost pulling her off her feet. (Now my dog has done his share of lunging over time, but I've never been distracted by a cell phone call and have always planned ahead about what to do.) I could hear her telling whoever she was talking to, "sorry, my dog just lunged at a black dog...." (How about, 'sorry my dog lunged at yours'???)
Bern was walking our dog on the Canal and a guy was running with his IPod ear plugs in with his huge dog on one of those retractable leads with it at full extention. There was no way Bern could get Bela out of the way and no way the guy, already triple tasking--running, listening to music or a download about how to be a better human being, while walking (supposedly) a huge dog. So the dog lunged at Bela and the guy, Bern said, didn't even notice....
Multi-tasking doesn't work, it's been shown. Oh, we can do two or three things at the same time, but we can't do any one of them with the same focus and intention we could do if one thing were all we were doing.
(PS why would you be outside with bird songs and trees and water and want to be listening to something on ear phones or talking on a cell phone? Bird songs are wonderful enough....")
Head's up: mono-tasking is good, focused and intentional.
Try it, you'll like it....
And you're dog won't lunge at mine....
Bern was walking our dog on the Canal and a guy was running with his IPod ear plugs in with his huge dog on one of those retractable leads with it at full extention. There was no way Bern could get Bela out of the way and no way the guy, already triple tasking--running, listening to music or a download about how to be a better human being, while walking (supposedly) a huge dog. So the dog lunged at Bela and the guy, Bern said, didn't even notice....
Multi-tasking doesn't work, it's been shown. Oh, we can do two or three things at the same time, but we can't do any one of them with the same focus and intention we could do if one thing were all we were doing.
(PS why would you be outside with bird songs and trees and water and want to be listening to something on ear phones or talking on a cell phone? Bird songs are wonderful enough....")
Head's up: mono-tasking is good, focused and intentional.
Try it, you'll like it....
And you're dog won't lunge at mine....
The Meeting will happen....
I have a meeting tomorrow night that folks were considering canceling, though it is a vital meeting, because the UConn woman would be playing for the national championship.
I'm sure others in CT had that thought about Tues. night meetings. As did folks in northern California--especially because the UConn/Stanford game would begin at 7:30 p.m. Pacific time.
Well, my meeting and all the meetings in CT and CA will happen on time. It will be Notre Dame and (gasp!) Texas A&M.
It's really the best thing that could happen for women's basketball. Though most people want to see UConn, Stanford, Tennesee, Baylor, Duke--it is a good thing to have two teams noone would have predicted play for the title.
Same with the men's game: no Duke/Ohio State final this year. Butler (go Bulldogs!!!) vs. the team that finished 9th of 16 in the Big East. OK, that is UConn, big name school, but who would have thunk it???
Love March Madness--been really 'mad' this year....
I'm sure others in CT had that thought about Tues. night meetings. As did folks in northern California--especially because the UConn/Stanford game would begin at 7:30 p.m. Pacific time.
Well, my meeting and all the meetings in CT and CA will happen on time. It will be Notre Dame and (gasp!) Texas A&M.
It's really the best thing that could happen for women's basketball. Though most people want to see UConn, Stanford, Tennesee, Baylor, Duke--it is a good thing to have two teams noone would have predicted play for the title.
Same with the men's game: no Duke/Ohio State final this year. Butler (go Bulldogs!!!) vs. the team that finished 9th of 16 in the Big East. OK, that is UConn, big name school, but who would have thunk it???
Love March Madness--been really 'mad' this year....
Friday, April 1, 2011
Things I miss....
(By the way, I gave the heresy test to the 50 people in the Mary Magdalene class today. All but three believe in the 'immortality of the soul'. Gnostic heretics all!!!)
It's now been 11 months since I retired after 21 years as Rector of St. John's, Waterbury. I really love being retired, but there are some things I miss. Here are the top 10.
10. I miss the building. The little churches where I am presiding now are fine, but St. John's is a neo-Gothic marvel. I used to sit in the nave and watch the light change as afternoon came.
9. Besides the grandeur of the building, I miss the drop dead beauty of the windows--Tiffany and otherwise--they are imprinted on my heart. Stained glass was invented to 'tell the story' to the illiterate masses. What a story St. John's windows tell....
8. I miss the soup kitchen: the people who worked there and the patrons as well. I'd wander through from time to time and after two decades recognized every face and knew a lot of names. I also miss all the other groups that used the buildings that were part of our 'ministry of Space'. I miss them.
7. I miss the people from the parish who would just 'drop in' during the week--some with things to do and others just to say 'hi'.
6. I miss all the talking and listening I did. I live a much quieter life now--I'm on 'mute' a lot more than I was. I talk to Bern (but we've been talking since I was 17 and she was 14 {cradle robber, I know....}) and I talk to the dog, the cat and the birds. But for over 20 years I talked to and listened to dozens of people a day. I miss that.
5. I miss the kids in the chorister academy. They came in twice a week to rehearse and I would sit with them in the library and try to figure out what makes teens tick. I never did, but it was fun trying. I also miss all the myriad of kids who were in and out and around in Church School and other ways.
4. I miss Pauline and her outrageousness and all the quirky, weird, strange people that end up wandering through an urban church. I miss getting caught up in all that made them quirky or weird or strange. Cheshire is, except for one of two folks, the epicenter of normal-ness. I miss the abnormal--or paranormal, if you will.
3. I actually, from time to time--not always--miss the meetings I had to go to. I kinda like meetings, the process of it all, the give and take, the wondering and pondering that went on. Even the spats people sometimes had. I'm a fool for a good spat....
2. I miss the staff enormously. It took me 20 years to 'get it right' and to surround myself with people smarter and more creative than I was so I could watch their backs and leave them pretty much alone. The staff on the day I retired was a work of art, a 'dream team', people I loved profoundly who were all exceedingly good at what they did and contributed. I miss them.
And the number 1 thing I miss about St. John's is simply this: those good and lovely and oh-so-human and oh-so-lovable people. The Hispanic congregation, the 8 o'clock folks, the people who came to Adult Forum, the incredible folks at the Wednesday Eucharist, the 10:15 crowd, the Vestry and the Christmas and Easter folks. I miss them all, I really do. I really do, believe me....
It's now been 11 months since I retired after 21 years as Rector of St. John's, Waterbury. I really love being retired, but there are some things I miss. Here are the top 10.
10. I miss the building. The little churches where I am presiding now are fine, but St. John's is a neo-Gothic marvel. I used to sit in the nave and watch the light change as afternoon came.
9. Besides the grandeur of the building, I miss the drop dead beauty of the windows--Tiffany and otherwise--they are imprinted on my heart. Stained glass was invented to 'tell the story' to the illiterate masses. What a story St. John's windows tell....
8. I miss the soup kitchen: the people who worked there and the patrons as well. I'd wander through from time to time and after two decades recognized every face and knew a lot of names. I also miss all the other groups that used the buildings that were part of our 'ministry of Space'. I miss them.
7. I miss the people from the parish who would just 'drop in' during the week--some with things to do and others just to say 'hi'.
6. I miss all the talking and listening I did. I live a much quieter life now--I'm on 'mute' a lot more than I was. I talk to Bern (but we've been talking since I was 17 and she was 14 {cradle robber, I know....}) and I talk to the dog, the cat and the birds. But for over 20 years I talked to and listened to dozens of people a day. I miss that.
5. I miss the kids in the chorister academy. They came in twice a week to rehearse and I would sit with them in the library and try to figure out what makes teens tick. I never did, but it was fun trying. I also miss all the myriad of kids who were in and out and around in Church School and other ways.
4. I miss Pauline and her outrageousness and all the quirky, weird, strange people that end up wandering through an urban church. I miss getting caught up in all that made them quirky or weird or strange. Cheshire is, except for one of two folks, the epicenter of normal-ness. I miss the abnormal--or paranormal, if you will.
3. I actually, from time to time--not always--miss the meetings I had to go to. I kinda like meetings, the process of it all, the give and take, the wondering and pondering that went on. Even the spats people sometimes had. I'm a fool for a good spat....
2. I miss the staff enormously. It took me 20 years to 'get it right' and to surround myself with people smarter and more creative than I was so I could watch their backs and leave them pretty much alone. The staff on the day I retired was a work of art, a 'dream team', people I loved profoundly who were all exceedingly good at what they did and contributed. I miss them.
And the number 1 thing I miss about St. John's is simply this: those good and lovely and oh-so-human and oh-so-lovable people. The Hispanic congregation, the 8 o'clock folks, the people who came to Adult Forum, the incredible folks at the Wednesday Eucharist, the 10:15 crowd, the Vestry and the Christmas and Easter folks. I miss them all, I really do. I really do, believe me....
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