The mind of a Puli

Bela, our Puli dog, won't go down the back stairs anymore. I just don't get it.

For 10 years he's gone down the back stairs just fine. Those stairs are carpeted and have a turn in them and should be much easier to go down than the front stairs--bare wood and straight down. In fact he often slips going down the front stairs but never did on the back ones.

Before our cat, Luke, died, I used the think I'd like to be in Bela's brain for a while but never Lukie's. The brain of a cat, I imagine, is such a complex labyrinth that you could never escape. But a Puli brain, that I thought would be simple--food, pet, bark, poop, pee, sleep. Nothing more complicated than that.

But, I can't for the life of me fathom why he should, all of a sudden, decide he won't go down the back stairs. I've tried to force him several time to no avail. He just won't, for reasons only he knows.

Why would a dog like Bela, a creature entirely dependent on 'habit' and 'routine'--up and out to bathroom/eat/out again to bathroom and walk/sleep/bark/sleep/follow me everywhere/sleep/eat/out to bathroom/sleep and hang out/one last pee/sleep for the night--change his mind about going down stairs which, to my knowledge, have never caused him any problems?

So, I'm no longer sure I'd like to hang out for a while in his brain.

Who knows what I'd stop doing that I have always done?

Waiting for Ellie

My fourth granddaughter isn't born yet. She's due on Thursday but Mimi's doctor said, 'probably not' and gave her until August 12th.

It's eerie, waiting for a grandchild.

Waiting for a letter, a return email, a package, a birthday, a holiday--all that is different.

Letters and packages depend on who brings them, a return email depends on who you sent your email to, birthdays and Holidays come when the come and can be depended on.

But Ellie's arrival isn't like any of that.

She will come when she comes.

And I can't wait.

My 'baby' is having a baby.

How sweet is that.

I'll just wait.

Not much else available to do.

I'll be here, Ellie, when you show up....

This is retirement....

I've been 'retired' since April of 2010. I retired when I had 30 years in the Church Pension Fund (one reason to consider being an Episcopal priest that has nothing to do with spirituality or religion, is the Church Pension Fund. Each month I receive over 80% of my total compensation from the 7 years of my highest pay--including housing, pension and medical care. Amazing!)

I still do stuff. I am a long term Interim Missioner for the Middlesex Area Cluster Ministry--three little churches--10-12 hours a week. So, I get paid for that. I also teach at UConn in Waterbury in the Osher Life-long Learning Institute every other semester. I choose to let my stipend go back into the Institute, so I don't get paid. And I'm a leader of the Making a Difference Workshop several times a year. I pay my way for that, except the Mastery Foundation pays when I go to Ireland for the plane ride. So, I stay busy.

But all that is stuff I love to do. What I do the rest of the time is, well, read.

I read 5 books a week--mostly mysteries, though some straight novels and poetry (which I read in a way that doesn't take much time). Almost never non-fiction. I did that in 7 years of post graduate studies (2 at Harvard for my MTS, 2 at Virginia Seminary for my M.Div. and 3 years at Hartford Seminary for my Doctor of Ministry degree) and since I was an undergraduate minor in political science--thinking I might go to law school--I read some non-fiction there for 4 years.

Now I do 'fiction'.

Five books a week. 260 or so books a year.

I spent a lot of time in the 'real world' as a social worker and a priest. And I still have a hand in that world. But I live for fiction.

I think fiction is a way into 'reality'. Fiction creates realities in our heads, places to live for a while knowing we can come back to what is 'real' whenever we need to cook dinner or walk the dog or have a visit with friends or talk to adult children.

But I always have a book with me--no matter what. There's a book on my passenger seat when I go to church, just in case I'm a little early and can steal a few minutes in an alternative world. I don't mind doctors' appointments because I can read while I wait. Plane and train trips are time for reading. I've thought about getting novels on tape (of course, it's not 'tape' anymore--whatever it is) to play while I drive. But I love National Public Radio almost as much as I love reading so I'll never do that.

I've always been a reader--but being retired has made 'a reader' who I am.

And I love it. I went to the library on Wednesday and got 4 books. I'll be starting the last one in bed tonight. And I'll finish it Tuesday if not sooner.

Read, beloved. Read.

Who knew?

For some reason, unknown to me, Bern is watching a 'Sharknato' deal. There are apparently 4 of them, she's on #3.

This is the woman who, for weeks after seeing Jaws couldn't take a shower in comfort!

Apparently the 'Sharknato' movies are comedies of sorts with all manner of unexpected cameos. I saw Penn and Teller in a diner and Teller had no lines!

Anyway, after I found out what the movies were I went downstairs to read. It wasn't until I'd been down there for a while that I realized the 'shark-nato' thing was a play on 'tornado' since sharks came out of the sky.

Up until then I was trying to get my head around what sharks flying through the sky had to do with the North Atlantic Treaty Organization Donald Trump has little interest in even though it has kept the Western world safe since WW II.

"Ah," I said, a light bulb going on, cartoon like over my head, "like a 'tornado', I get it now."

Day by day I creep closer to needing to be in the home....

As low as you can go??? Probably not....

Donald Trump has taken on Khizs Khan, the father of a Muslim soldier killed in the Middle East, for his speech at the Democratic Convention.

Trump said that Mr. Khan seemed like a 'nice man' and then went off on the fact that Mrs. Khan didn't speak. "Maybe she wasn't allowed to," he said, a slam at Muslims if there ever was one.

The truth is, Mrs. Khan didn't speak because she felt emotionally unable to since it was her son's picture that was being shown all over the arena--her 'dead son', who died for his country. She stood with her husband at the podium because, as Khan said, he couldn't have spoken without her by his side because of his emotions.

It was, in my opinion, the most moving moment of the whole moving convention. Khan said Trump doesn't know what their kind of  'sacrifice' is like. Trump replied he 'sacrificed' a lot by working hard.

Hard work (expected of us all) on one hand vs. a dead son, a military hero on the other. Let's just say Khan was correct.

Khan also pulled out a copy of the Constitution and volunteered to give it to Trump.

Amen.

last night

Well, I was up so late last night I didn't get to write about the Democratic National Convention. Not only did I watch it all, Bill Mahre (is that how you spell it? Maher, maybe) had an after Convention show.

In my lifetime--which goes back beyond the middle of the last century--there has never been such a difference between the two parties.

Trump is the zombie killer. Hillary is the baby kisser. It's that profoundly different.

And, since Trump isn't really a Republican with traditional Republican values, he handed the Democrats the 'patriotic card'. I've never seen so many American flags as last night.

I've been trying to read as much as I can by Trump supporters to see if I can have any idea whatsoever about how they see the world. 'World view' isn't a term I use much when talking about Americans because I sort of have assumed we see the world pretty much alike. Now I know what a self-delusion that is.

The world Trump describes might as well be in another galaxy from me. Everything in that world is distopic, frightening, negative and terrifying. That's not my world. I'm a realist: I know there are lots of bad things going on, but I'm a Pelagian as well. I believe in the deep-down, basic goodness of humankind in spite of the evidence to the contrary. I think the Evil in the world is created by human beings and that human beings can create Goodness to overcome the Evil.

The homage paid by the Democrats to the 'higher calling' and 'better nature' of human beings was salvation language to me.

I am 'frightened'. I am frightened that all my trust in the basic kindness and compassion of human beings might not be enough to defeat Trump in November. But I will not and cannot give up on humanity the way Trump has.

(Mike Pence criticized Obama for using the word 'demagogue' in his speech. Obama said, "Whoever threatens our values, be they fascists, communists, Jihadists or homegrown demagogues, they will fail." Pence assumed the President was referring to his running mate. He said "name-calling" had no place in politics.

Has he listened to Trump? "Little Marco", "lazy Jeb", "Lying Ted", "Crooked Hillary", on and on....

Pence should resign from the ticket if he objects to name-calling in politics. You know he should.)

Wednesday night

So, I've been trying to write something while listening to the DNC on radio while I type. Then Joe Biden came on and I had to go watch him (incredible) and then watched Mike Bloomberg, an Independent, unleashed the most bitter attack on Donald Trump of the Convention.

Soon, Tim Kaine and the President--so I'm not getting much written.

I probably shouldn't even try.

So, I won't.

"I'm with HER!"