catching up....

A day and a half have passed--I have a lot of catching up to do.

The first full day of GC was yesterday. There are all these little parlimentary niceties involved in the opening day. Once all the motions necessary for the House of Deputies to be fully operational are finished, a priest and layperson are sent to the House of Bishops to inform them that we are 'ready to begin business' and the bishops send two folks to tell us they are too. Since this is the first GC for Bonny Anderson, the new president of the HD, we weren't as ready as we thought! Lots of thing went wrong but major parlimentary snafus were avoided. An awkward moment was when Bonny elaborately introduced the President of the Episcopal Church Women who are holding their meeting upstairs in the Convention center and she wasn't there!

We approved the election of 2 new bishops (Long Island and South Dakota). the bishop from the dakota is John Tarrent who was in Middlebury when the Greater Waterbury Episcopal Ministry was going on. I've talked with him a couple of times and in spite of his willingness to be a bishop, he seems as sane and humorous as he was back in CT.

The Archbishop of Canterbury is here as a guest of the Presiding Bishop. There was a reception last night (which I missed for an Angels game!) and he was the homilist at the Eucharist today. His sermon was elegant and seemless, as all his writings are. He admitted he was a tad anxious about whether this convention would pass legislation regarding gay issues that would be troubling to parts of the Anglican Communion. Nevertheless, he was thankful for the invitation and gracious in his humorous Welsh way.

Integrity (GLBT Episcopalians and their friends) printed up hundreds of tee shirts that said, "Here am I, Send me. I am witness to God's inclusive love." for that Eucharist. The several thousand folks had those tee shirts sprinkled all through. We all posed infont of the Conv. Center for video and photos singing "Jesus Loves me" and "WE ARE MARCHING IN THE LIGHT OF GOD". St. John's own Barbara Curry is in charge of media for iNTEGRITY--they've already done one short video about the opening of Convention that you could watch on Integrity's website. Barbara is as busy as the deputies, plus she has to lug equipment around....Sort of like Ginger Rogers doing all the steps Fred Astair did, only backwards and in high heels....

The narrative program I mentioned had its second meeting. We sit at tables--ours has bp ahrens, tom fuhr, jerry caroon, rachel downs and john sutton plus one of the ECW folks from CT--ECW and the Gen Con worship and do some things together. It was a good session once the leader, who loves to talk, let us talk to each other. I learned things about those people, all of whom I know (some of them for years and years) that I'd never known. We talked about 'our story' that led to the passion we have in ministry.

It was truly revelatory to me because I'd never thought of some of my personal psychology as leading to what I truly believe in about the ministry I have lived out. In short, it goes like this--I have always felt like an outsider. My parents were in their 40's when I was born and therefore the age of most of my friend's grandparents. Plus I was very sheltered as a child (one because I was an 'only' of older parents and secondly because, hard as it is to believe, I was sickly and not able to play well until I was 10 or 11.) I was always one of the 'smart kids' and that, in childhood, is it's own burden to carry. In high school I wrote a column for the school newspaper called "The Outsider". At Harvard I felt like a hick and in the larger Episcopal Church I've always seen myself on the margins--theologically, politically and even socially. Even as an aging white man, I feel intimidated by wealth and social status of many of the leaders of the EC. I don't think I've ever recognized before how that led me to be committed to the church's marginalised--racially, socially, economically, on issues of gender and spirituality. I am committed to a church 'with nobody left out'. I need to ponder all that some more, but it was an insight I've not been fully conscious of.


Much of these first two days is given over to committee meetings. A failure of past GCs has been we never got finished--even in 11 days--because the committees never had time to finish their work. So we are front loading the committee work in hopes of being about to legislate more completely later on. Perhaps it will work, or perhaps the GC simply tries to do 'too much'.

The committees--there are over 20--have open hearings and any deputy can go to testify about various resolutions. I spoke at the social concerns committee yesterday about a resolution from the bishops in states where same sex marriage is legal. That reality has posed difficulty and a large quandary for bishops. The canons and prayer book define marriage as between a man and a woman, yet more and more states are saying civil marriage between two men or two women is equally legal. The priests are put in the untenable position of having to have two policies regarding marriage. In CT we can do the blessing of a marriage from the BCP for same sex couples but cannot sign the marriage license. So, to have the marriage in the church, a JP or other civil authority must be there to take the vows and pronounce the couple married. "Separate is NOT Equal" and the full sacrament of the church is being denied to some of the baptized.
This is one of those issues the Archbishop is anxious about!

The resolution, which all three of our bishops signed, asks for the GC to grant a great pastoral laditude to bishops in those states where same-sex marriage is legal. No one at the hearing spoke against it--but it has the potential for a floor fight in both the Houses.

The Budget is also a potentially divisive issue. The E C, like everyone, is struggling with less resources to do what mission we would like to do. So various groups in the church--minority ministries, education, seminaries, poverty ministries, etc--are being pitted against each other for their part of the pie. Program and Budget, the committee where the budget is written, meets in a very large room as people come to plead that their 'part' of the budget not be cut.

I've kindof caught up now except for some non-church stuff.

1) the Texas Rangers beat the Angels 8-1 in the game I went to last night. It was a sloppy and not very interesting game and the 'home team' never had a chance so of the 37,000 who were there at the beginning, less than 10,ooo saw the last pitch. The reason we stayed was the chance to see history made. Andrue (that's the way he spells it) Jones, a Texas outfielder hit home runs in his first three at bats. Only 14 people in history have ever hit 4 homeruns in one game and no one has for years. So we stayed and those left--even the Angel fans--were cheering him on. Jones popped up leading off the 7th, but the Rangers got men on base so it was clear he's get one more chance in the 9th. Drum roll--he struck out on 3 pitches....But we met fascinating characters at the bus stop and on the bus back to the hotel! My contention is buses are one of the best place to meet characters--but the quality of the characters in southern Cal is more dramatic and, how shall I say it? wierd than in CT. (one example--a guy got on with huge, mickey mouse gloved hands and a blue hat about a foot and a half tall and a shirt that said, "Rent a man". He proceeded to announce that he could be rented on line and kept repeating the web site address for several stops....)

2. Never ending sunshine isn't all it's cracked up to be. my nose is sunburned and lots of people have farmer's tans already.

3. One of the resturants in the hotel has biscuits and sausage gravy on the breakfast menu. My faithfulness in going to the fitness center is in grave danger of being cancelled out each morning....

More later.

Goodnight

The Caucus didn't take long. Some information about committee hearings of interest, sharing of cell phone and room #'s and prayers for Sarah, Drew and Kate Smith's granddaughter, born Sunday who is having surgery tonight. A frightening time. Add her and her parents and grandparents to your good thoughts and healing prayers.

I saw dozens of old friends today. I don't think of myself as very social among other clergy, but over the years I have been touched by many and by lay folks from other dioceses as well. It's the Family Reunion part of GC. But I know how forgetful I am because at least three people came up and hugged me and even though we all have on name tags all the time, I had no idea who they were. But wearing name tags covers a multitude of sins. One of my goals in the next year is to force nametags down the throats of the folks at St. Johns--or at least force them around their necks. It is great to never have to search the morass that is my mind for a name!

My friend Susan McCone invited me to a reception for the Mission Funding Initiative which she heads for the national church at 815 (for those who don't know, the Church Center of the Epis. Church is at 815 2nd Ave in New York City) so '815' is short hand for that lumbering institution where the Presiding Bishop's office resides and all the myriad offices of the church live. One thing about Gen Con is that there are enough receptions by various groups each night that if you go and stand shamelessly by the hors devours (sp?) table you can save dinner money one night for a big expensive one the next!

At lunch today, talking with some old friends from WV (none of whom are still in that diocese!) a deputy from central fla. sat down. He knew one of my friends and pulled out a stack of tickets to Tomorrow night's Angels v. Texas Rangers game. I took three so Lyn Meyer from Danbury and john Sutton from Stamford and I are going! The guy's son works for the Angels and gave him tickets to hand out.

Tomorrow the house of deputies goes into session at 8 a.m. I need some sleep. More tomorrow.

so it begins...

Today, the Gen. Con. got in full swing. The display hall opened at noon, lots of committee meetings in morning and evening and 2-5:30 session of House of Deputies. The first part was a presentation on Public Narrative--a process we'll be using for a total of 6 hours over three days to share 'stories' in an effort to come to an understanding of the Mission of the Church. It was developed by Marshall Ganz of Harvard's Kennedy School. Ganz is a long time organizer in the area of civil rights. It sounds interesting. We'll be doing it with people from our own diocese so it can translate, hopefully, back to CT.

The second piece of time was the orientation for the House of Deputies. It was an amusing and light-hearted way of presenting the rules of order of the House. Quite creative. Also, the theme of the Convention--"ubuntu"--an African word that is difficult to translate. It means, roughly--"I in You and You in me". It is used to express the communal connection of self-idenity that is quite problematic to westerners. We see 'identity' as ' individuality' while 'ubuntu' defines our personal identities in relationship to others and to the environment. A longer way of defining it is something like "I am who I am because you are who you are..." The Convention theme seeks to guide us toward understanding that we do not exist as individuals in isolation, but as individuals in community and relationship and interdependence. The priest who described 'ubuntu' was Michael Battle, the Canon Theologian of the Diocese of LA. Michael, some of you might remember, was a seminarian at St, John's back in the 1990's. He went on to get a Ph.D. from Duke and is well known within the church. He was passionate and profound in his presentation. It is a remarkable and transforming concept if we can incorporate it into our oh-so-individualistic thinking and being.

I have to go to the Caucus of the Ct deputation now. if it doesn't run too late I'll post again tonight.

the view from my balcony

I'm on the 11th floor and from my balcony I can see a dozen huge hotels and more resturants than that. The same would be true in any direction.We are in the midst of what is called the Anaheim Resorts--less than a mile from Disneyland. Having walked around a bit, I realize this is a place for sleeping and eating and either going to Conventions or to the Magic Kingdom.

Anaheim calls itself "the Happiest Place on Earth". Perhaps that is a good harbinger for the General Convention.

People arrived in force today--we all nod and smile at other people with badges from the Convention. It is a happy place right now--hopefully it will stay so.

One thing you can do at Gen. Convention is go to two or three receptions every night. Every group in the church has a reception and if you eat enough--most or them start at six and have lots of food--you can skip dinner! Tonight was the Integrity Reception at one of the dozens of hotels in walking distance. A good spread and lots of wine. They actually should have had a larger venue since many more people than expected showed up. About 2 dozen bishops--including Jim and Laura from CT--and lots and lots of deputies. This is a key Convention for Integrity (GLBT Episcopalians and their friends). There are resolutions to overturn the resolution B033 from last convention (which urges against gay/lesbian bishops). The resolution was forced through by the bishops to appease the Anglican Communion and anti-gay folks in the Episcopal Church--neither worked! Also, the convention could pass a resolution in support of same sex marriage which is now only legal in 6 states (including CT). It was a lively and upbeat gathering--lots of optimism and hope. Maybe the Magic Kingdom is the right place for this convention.

I just went out on the balcony to watch the nightly fireworks from Disneyland. It really lit up the night! So maybe this 76th General Convention will be the Magic Kingdom or Fireworks. Whichever, I'll let you know.

You should pray for this work and ministry, you know. It does matter....

'cross the usa...

Getting to Hartford was great! My daughter Mimi and her boyfriend Tim drove me up. I love being with them so that part of the trip was the best.\

Then I got hung up for 25 minutes at Security. No lines or anything--just that my CPath--a machine I use to sleep with because of sleep apnea (sp?)--set off an alarm. They then swabbed my two carryon bags and the cotton from the swab set off more alarms!!! They kept putting the computer through the x-ray machine and took apart the cpath and patted me down and were considering a strip/cavity search when a 'higher up' arrived, having been summoned by the security people. She tested everything and it set off alarms. Finally, she asked me if I had used any hand cream or body lotion before packing the stuff. I probably had but didn't really remember. (I'm a fool for body lotion!) She decided that was what it was--which causes me to ponder what exactly I'm smearing on myself each morning!!

Then, at Newark, I had to go from Terminal A to Terminal C and went on a shuttle bus. When we got to Terminal C we were inside the security zone without being checked again. Someone clever enough could surely figure out how to pick up a bomb they'd hidden outside and get it into Terminal C! Go figure....

Flying across the US never ceases to amaze me. I love to look down and it was a crystal clear day until Kansas City so you could easily see what you were flying over. It's a pretty empty country considering how cramped and crowded the I95 corridor seems. Growing up in West Virginia, town lines started where the town started, so most places 'weren't anywhere'--just places 'between' somewhere and somewhere else. The usa seems like that from 38,000 feet.

I met three people in the Newark Airport who were on my plane to Orange County (John Wayne Airport). All of them work for the Church Pension Fund and were coming for some part of Convention. Then I saw a long ago friend named Frank Wade and his wife Mary. I knew Frank in the Diocese of West Virginia. He moved to DC and I moved to CT. So I wasn't even on the plane and the 'family reunion' had begun!

That's the most benign and fun part of General Convention--seeing people you haven't seen for years. And the Episcopal Church is small enough that even total strangers know someone you know....

My room is on the 11th floor of the Marriott in Anaheim, right next to the convention center where the Episcopal Church is meeting. I get dizzy out on my balcony but luckily the railing comes up to my arm pits and there are flower pots between the railing and the dropoff so I should be safe....

I woke up on East Coast time and went to the fitness center. I decided i should try to do something good for my body while I'm here.

I'm about to wander over the the Convention Center to see who and what i can see and get my Deputy's credentials. They give you a badge--just like a deputy....

praying in terror

The most frightening prayer I can imagine is called the prayer of humble access that is at the very beginnin of the Episcopal Eucharist. It begins like this:
"Almighty God, unto whom all hearts are open, all desires known and from whom no secrets are hid....."

Imagine that. Really! It's the theological equivilant of "...he knows when you are sleeping, he knows when you're awake...he knows if you've been bad or good so be good for goodness sake.

God is like Santa Claus! You can run but you can't hide....

Recently, I was part of a Methodist liturgy called a "love feast" when everyone gave everyone else a piece of nice french bread and said, "God loves you and there is nothing you can do about it...."

How scarey is that? You have no control over what God knows about you and can't make God stop loving you, no matter how hard you try.

I find it a little spooky that I can't hide from God. What's the Psalm say? Something like God knows where we are if we go to the inner most depths of the sea and the outer reaches of the earth. Lordy, lordy...there's no relief or escape.

It transforms me in the moment to know God is watching. I'm not sure I like it. I have, after all, a secret life...I expect we all do. And I "like" my secrets, thank you much. I feel a bit intruded upon by this 'all desires known and no secrets hid' stuff.

But there is this: in spite of the deep and often dark secrets of my life---God loves me and there is nothing I can do about it....

So I get my secrets and get loved too.

I guess that's not so bad if my secrets weren't so hideous.....

Hello....Hello...?

I looked back briefly over the blogs I've been writing for several months. Though lots of people tell me they read them--and I believe them--I don't think I've ever gotten a comment, which would be recorded at the bottom of the blog when I look back at it.

I'd like to think that's because what I write is so brilliant that no one would dare comment on it. And I'm sure that's not so.

So, I'm pondering, if people are reading this (which is incomprehensible to me!!) I hope they feel free to comment. That's all. Shalom, JIM