Friday, March 30, 2012

What dogs do....

Bern is very upset with our dog, Bela, because today when she was walking with him on the Canal, he ate some poop. (You know the word I'd rather use...begins with 's', rhymes with 'Mitt'...wait, that's too political...oh, hell, I just can't be politically correct....)

This has come up before. Bern just goes off when Bela eats 'Mitt'. She can't stand it, try to pry it out of his mouth (I'd rather have the dog eat poop than pull said poop out of his mouth myself) and shuns him like a Mormon would shun you for having some wine or a cup of coffee. (Ooops, being incorrect again....)

So I tried to tell Bern that Dogs do what dogs do, which includes eating poop and their own vomit and licking their genitals.

(Sometimes Bela throws up but I don't bother to clean it up because I know he will probably eat it again. Mostly that works. It's even in the Bible--Google Bible and Vomit and you'll see....)

I said, "Remember the old junior high school joke about 'why dogs lick their genitals'?"

Of course she didn't, since, though we grew up 9 miles apart, she grew up in an alternate universe from mine.

The punch line, I told her, is "because they CAN...."

Then we imagined a world where men could lick their own genitals. I said there would be clubs for it and she imagined a chair designed for it. Both pretty amusing if you think about it.

So dogs eat poop. They just do. Not always, but from time to time. Since we've always had cats (down to one now, the one of the four we liked best anyway) I've always made sure we had litter boxes with tops because we've always had dogs and dogs, as disgusting as it sounds, like cross species stuff, will eat cat poop given the chance.

Back where I come from, there is a saying about someone who is up to something and doesn't want you to know it. We call it a "S*** Eating Grin". I'm not sure if people in New England use that phrase since it doesn't come up much in polite conversation.

So, I guess that's what Bela has, literally, if you can imagine a Puli grinning....

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some ponderings by an aging white man who is an Episcopal priest in Connecticut. Now retired but still working and still wondering what it all means...all of it.