I ran into my neighbor from across the street at Stop and Shop earlier today. "Hey, Joe," I said, "plan B?" We were both there to find dinner that didn't have to be grilled.
The day is rainy but Josh and Cathy and our granddaughters are here so it's bright inside!
They came late last night--after midnight--and were exhausted. The girls got some back yard time between rains and found a multitude of worms and slugs and ballbugs driven out into the open by the wet ground. Kids love gross and slimy and dirty things by their very nature. It seems to me you could predict the onset of adolescence by when kids stop picking up slimy things.
Josh, like Mimi when she's here commented on 'how quiet' Cheshire is. I guess it is but I just take it for granted. Like the Irish cab driver a few years ago who, every time he turned a curve going from Dreury to the Domitine retreat center heard me gasp as the beauty of the landscape.
Finally he said, in a wondrous accent, "Yea, I think we've come to take it for granted."
Too bad how we take blessings and beauty like that. Having the girls around to let me see the world through their eyes jars me out of complacency and I notice how astonishing worms are....
Friday, July 4, 2014
Thursday, July 3, 2014
OK, enough sweetness and light...
Ann Coulter.
You know where I'm going with this, right? If not you haven't been paying attention lately.
Ann Coulter (just to type her name annoys me!) went on a rant of Fox News (where else?) about soccer. Her take on the interest of Americans in the World Cup matches shows 'the moral decay' of American culture.
(Let me give you a minute to take that in...if, indeed, it is take-able in-able....)
OK, so here's her argument (such as it is):
1. America's interest in soccer shows that immigration from south of the border is out of control (because, presumably, white people don't like soccer!--nevermind about Europe....)
2. It is too much of a 'team sport' so there are no superstars and America needs superstars. (Nevermind, again, that there are stars in soccer but it is essentially a team sport...and when did playing as a 'team' become un-American? I thought that was the most American thing of all....)
3. It's boring because the scores are so low and American's like lots of scoring. (Never mind that a 1-0 baseball game is a classic and a 7-3 football game, though unusual, is the most exciting kind of game--since when is defense a bad thing.)
So, Soccer would be ok if the scores were like the NBA and there were super stars and white people played it....
Jesus, how stupid is that?
I didn't grow up playing soccer and neither of my kids played either, but lots of their friends did and now practically every kid in the suburbs plays soccer. And certainly every Hispanic kid does.
Ok, I'm getting irrational about this. Just go on line and find her rant and weep for America....
You know where I'm going with this, right? If not you haven't been paying attention lately.
Ann Coulter (just to type her name annoys me!) went on a rant of Fox News (where else?) about soccer. Her take on the interest of Americans in the World Cup matches shows 'the moral decay' of American culture.
(Let me give you a minute to take that in...if, indeed, it is take-able in-able....)
OK, so here's her argument (such as it is):
1. America's interest in soccer shows that immigration from south of the border is out of control (because, presumably, white people don't like soccer!--nevermind about Europe....)
2. It is too much of a 'team sport' so there are no superstars and America needs superstars. (Nevermind, again, that there are stars in soccer but it is essentially a team sport...and when did playing as a 'team' become un-American? I thought that was the most American thing of all....)
3. It's boring because the scores are so low and American's like lots of scoring. (Never mind that a 1-0 baseball game is a classic and a 7-3 football game, though unusual, is the most exciting kind of game--since when is defense a bad thing.)
So, Soccer would be ok if the scores were like the NBA and there were super stars and white people played it....
Jesus, how stupid is that?
I didn't grow up playing soccer and neither of my kids played either, but lots of their friends did and now practically every kid in the suburbs plays soccer. And certainly every Hispanic kid does.
Ok, I'm getting irrational about this. Just go on line and find her rant and weep for America....
Wednesday, July 2, 2014
And besides all that
I love her more than life itself...Bern, I mean. What she means to me increases exponentially every day.
I've never told her this--perhaps I should, though it might frighten her--she has become 'my life' in so many ways.
It has not always been this way. But it is now. I am 67 and she is 64 and we're on at least our 5th marriage, and this is the one I value best of all.
Soon I'll stop typing and take Bela out for his last pee of the day and then join her in the bed we've shared for over four decades and realize how blessed I am to have her in my life.
Maybe I'll tell her that and maybe I won't. Timing is everything.
And it is true, true beyond True...Well, either you know or you don't. Either you have a relationship, a love that defines your life or you don't. And there is no value in whatever you have. It's just I have such a relationship. And I count myself blessed beyond belief. I did nothing to deserve this. It isn't because I crossed some t's and dotted some i's, it is just that I am blessed without cause or purpose. In fact, in the real world, I made more mistakes than anyone should ever make. So. that's all it is. A glorious accident, a wondrous happenstance, something the cosmos didn't have in mind but happened anyway.
Like that.
Simply like that.
And I am more blessed, lucky, fortunate, astonishingly privileged than anyone has a right to be.
Lucky, blessed me.
Just like that. And thanks be to all the gods that be for my life turning out 'just like that'.
Really.
Why don't I appreciate that more?
I've never told her this--perhaps I should, though it might frighten her--she has become 'my life' in so many ways.
It has not always been this way. But it is now. I am 67 and she is 64 and we're on at least our 5th marriage, and this is the one I value best of all.
Soon I'll stop typing and take Bela out for his last pee of the day and then join her in the bed we've shared for over four decades and realize how blessed I am to have her in my life.
Maybe I'll tell her that and maybe I won't. Timing is everything.
And it is true, true beyond True...Well, either you know or you don't. Either you have a relationship, a love that defines your life or you don't. And there is no value in whatever you have. It's just I have such a relationship. And I count myself blessed beyond belief. I did nothing to deserve this. It isn't because I crossed some t's and dotted some i's, it is just that I am blessed without cause or purpose. In fact, in the real world, I made more mistakes than anyone should ever make. So. that's all it is. A glorious accident, a wondrous happenstance, something the cosmos didn't have in mind but happened anyway.
Like that.
Simply like that.
And I am more blessed, lucky, fortunate, astonishingly privileged than anyone has a right to be.
Lucky, blessed me.
Just like that. And thanks be to all the gods that be for my life turning out 'just like that'.
Really.
Why don't I appreciate that more?
One last thing I don't appreciate enough
Bern.
My wife of 43 years.
My life in many ways.
Bern does almost everything. I do these things: take the dog for his morning walk (and on Monday for his walk on the Canal--Bern takes him those other six days) his 'little walk' at 5 or so and his last pee after 10 pm, I clean the litter box for Lukie, I take out the trash and recycling on Tues and bring the bins back on Wednesday, I cook dinner 4 out of every 7 days. Besides doing my own laundry, that's all I do.
Bern does everything else. Cleans the house, mows the lawn with her hand mower, pays the bills every Monday (which is why I do the Canal walk that day), does the laundry for everything but my clothes, cooks dinner at least 3 days a week, manages the garden, keeps everything where it should be.
I could help her with all that but, sadly, I'm not capable of doing any of that as well as she does. It's just the truth. So she does all that.
My life wouldn't work without Bern. Not at all.
And I know that.
So, I should appreciate her more. And I vow to do that. I do.
Who in your life don't you appreciate enough? Not like you have to tell them, just appreciate them more, that's all. Ponder that, if you will.....
My wife of 43 years.
My life in many ways.
Bern does almost everything. I do these things: take the dog for his morning walk (and on Monday for his walk on the Canal--Bern takes him those other six days) his 'little walk' at 5 or so and his last pee after 10 pm, I clean the litter box for Lukie, I take out the trash and recycling on Tues and bring the bins back on Wednesday, I cook dinner 4 out of every 7 days. Besides doing my own laundry, that's all I do.
Bern does everything else. Cleans the house, mows the lawn with her hand mower, pays the bills every Monday (which is why I do the Canal walk that day), does the laundry for everything but my clothes, cooks dinner at least 3 days a week, manages the garden, keeps everything where it should be.
I could help her with all that but, sadly, I'm not capable of doing any of that as well as she does. It's just the truth. So she does all that.
My life wouldn't work without Bern. Not at all.
And I know that.
So, I should appreciate her more. And I vow to do that. I do.
Who in your life don't you appreciate enough? Not like you have to tell them, just appreciate them more, that's all. Ponder that, if you will.....
More things I don't appreciate enough
As I grow old ('should I wear my trousers rolled, or eat a peach?') I'm coming to notice things I don't appreciate enough. Here's some more:
*maple syrup--living in the part of the country where it comes from, I haven't been appreciative enough of maple syrup. I made salmon tonight (my friend Bea has a salmon aversion, poor her) that was marinated in 1/4 cup of maple syrup, two teaspoons of soy sauce, a clove of garlic chopped, garlic salt and black pepper and cooked at 400 degrees for 20 minutes. To die for...salmon and maple syrup, how odd is that? And it worked...never mind pancakes and waffles....
*summer corn--had corn tonight too, no way to cook it wrong. Wrapped the ears in paper towels after wetting it and microwaves for 2 minutes. Astonishing! How sweet and good corn is. I would have grilled both the salmon and corn but it's raining hard in Connecticut.
*paper clips--I was working on something this week that involved various writings of more than a page, trying to find the right order. I needed paper clips and didn't have any. Went out yesterday and got 45 big ones, vinyl-coated in multiple bright colors. I feel better already.
*floor pads for my car--I had almost ground through the carpet on the driver's side after grinding through the floor pad. So I took Bern's Discover card and went to a Auto supply place and bought new, thick rubber ones for $31.17. Bern'll get some % of that back one day from Discover and my front seat floors are thickly covered and smell of new rubber.
*creatures--we have three: a bad Puli dog, an annoying Maine Coon Cat and a parakeet that brings constant song into our lives. She's listening to SHU public radio that actually plays classical music most of the day and making wondrous music. I actually love Luke the cat more than Bern does and she's always been the cat person and Bern loves the bad dog Bela more than I do and I've always been the dog person. Jung was right--as we age we move toward our shadows and embrace them.
*children--we have two and I do not appreciate enough how wondrous they are. Josh is a big-time lawyer in Baltimore and Mimi is the Development Officer for Jacob's Pillow in MA and lives half time in Brooklyn with her fiancee, Tim, who we love. Josh and Cathy and our three granddaughter will be coming for the 4th. I DO appreciate our granddaughters constantly and greatly, but I need to appreciate our children more and more. No drug problems, good grades, no major arrests, remarkable adults from wonderful children. I don't give enough thanks for how they turned out so brilliantly, better than I could have expected. God, I love them, and should celebrate that more.
*friends--I take them for granted because I assume I'm likeable and should have friends. But the truth is, they make my life so much richer, purer, more meaningful, magic that I should tell them so and appreciate them more, much more, than I do. I vow to do that, more and more.
Ponder, if you will, what you don't appreciate enough about your life. It truly is life-giving to do that, I promise you. Really.
Really.
*maple syrup--living in the part of the country where it comes from, I haven't been appreciative enough of maple syrup. I made salmon tonight (my friend Bea has a salmon aversion, poor her) that was marinated in 1/4 cup of maple syrup, two teaspoons of soy sauce, a clove of garlic chopped, garlic salt and black pepper and cooked at 400 degrees for 20 minutes. To die for...salmon and maple syrup, how odd is that? And it worked...never mind pancakes and waffles....
*summer corn--had corn tonight too, no way to cook it wrong. Wrapped the ears in paper towels after wetting it and microwaves for 2 minutes. Astonishing! How sweet and good corn is. I would have grilled both the salmon and corn but it's raining hard in Connecticut.
*paper clips--I was working on something this week that involved various writings of more than a page, trying to find the right order. I needed paper clips and didn't have any. Went out yesterday and got 45 big ones, vinyl-coated in multiple bright colors. I feel better already.
*floor pads for my car--I had almost ground through the carpet on the driver's side after grinding through the floor pad. So I took Bern's Discover card and went to a Auto supply place and bought new, thick rubber ones for $31.17. Bern'll get some % of that back one day from Discover and my front seat floors are thickly covered and smell of new rubber.
*creatures--we have three: a bad Puli dog, an annoying Maine Coon Cat and a parakeet that brings constant song into our lives. She's listening to SHU public radio that actually plays classical music most of the day and making wondrous music. I actually love Luke the cat more than Bern does and she's always been the cat person and Bern loves the bad dog Bela more than I do and I've always been the dog person. Jung was right--as we age we move toward our shadows and embrace them.
*children--we have two and I do not appreciate enough how wondrous they are. Josh is a big-time lawyer in Baltimore and Mimi is the Development Officer for Jacob's Pillow in MA and lives half time in Brooklyn with her fiancee, Tim, who we love. Josh and Cathy and our three granddaughter will be coming for the 4th. I DO appreciate our granddaughters constantly and greatly, but I need to appreciate our children more and more. No drug problems, good grades, no major arrests, remarkable adults from wonderful children. I don't give enough thanks for how they turned out so brilliantly, better than I could have expected. God, I love them, and should celebrate that more.
*friends--I take them for granted because I assume I'm likeable and should have friends. But the truth is, they make my life so much richer, purer, more meaningful, magic that I should tell them so and appreciate them more, much more, than I do. I vow to do that, more and more.
Ponder, if you will, what you don't appreciate enough about your life. It truly is life-giving to do that, I promise you. Really.
Really.
Sunday, June 29, 2014
Anawalt's Facebook Page
My friend Charles sent me a link to Anawalt, West Virginia's Face book page. Do even dying towns now have Face book pages? I'm not on Face book but I could go back to it from Charles' link, which I might just do when I finish writing this.
I was looking at people I didn't know but then there was a picture of Anawalt's Boy Scout Troop from what must have been 1959 or 1960, cause there I was in the front row between Billy Bridgeman and Kyle Parks, my two best boyhood friends. I stared at the picture for a long time and even made Bern come and look at it.
There were 30 boys in the picture and I could name all but three of them. (People have recently told me I have a remarkable memory--truth is, I often can't remember what I had for dinner the night before but I could remember the names of all those boys and the Scout Leader, Jimmy Newsome.)
Actually I can remember what I had for dinner last night: some flounder I broiled with a sauce of mushrooms, butter, scallions, white wine, dill flakes, fresh parsley and capers that I made, along with steamed green cauliflower and sliced baby cucumbers I splashed with vinegar and oil. It was tasty.
I don't know where Billy Bridgeman is but because of Charles and my old friend Mike Miano, I know that Kyle has been dead for a good decade. I'm sure if I put Billy Bridgeman's name out there someone more adroit with computers than I am will find him for me. Billy is the one I wouldn't have been surprised to discover was dead. Billy was a bit of a rogue while Kyle was the straightest of Straight Arrows. Billy dead from a knife fight or a drug overdose wouldn't have shocked me at all. But Kyle, military pilot and fitness nut dying at 56 from a heart attack--that was devastating to me.
Truth is, I don't know where any of those 30 + people is except Fred Rash, because one of the other pictures was of Fred--white haired and bearded like me--at an Anawalt picnic. He had on a hat proclaiming he was a veteran--Viet Nam surely--and look a bit older than I think I look...but whose to know if the way I look to me is accurate.
OK, I'm going back to that Face book page to find out some more....
I was looking at people I didn't know but then there was a picture of Anawalt's Boy Scout Troop from what must have been 1959 or 1960, cause there I was in the front row between Billy Bridgeman and Kyle Parks, my two best boyhood friends. I stared at the picture for a long time and even made Bern come and look at it.
There were 30 boys in the picture and I could name all but three of them. (People have recently told me I have a remarkable memory--truth is, I often can't remember what I had for dinner the night before but I could remember the names of all those boys and the Scout Leader, Jimmy Newsome.)
Actually I can remember what I had for dinner last night: some flounder I broiled with a sauce of mushrooms, butter, scallions, white wine, dill flakes, fresh parsley and capers that I made, along with steamed green cauliflower and sliced baby cucumbers I splashed with vinegar and oil. It was tasty.
I don't know where Billy Bridgeman is but because of Charles and my old friend Mike Miano, I know that Kyle has been dead for a good decade. I'm sure if I put Billy Bridgeman's name out there someone more adroit with computers than I am will find him for me. Billy is the one I wouldn't have been surprised to discover was dead. Billy was a bit of a rogue while Kyle was the straightest of Straight Arrows. Billy dead from a knife fight or a drug overdose wouldn't have shocked me at all. But Kyle, military pilot and fitness nut dying at 56 from a heart attack--that was devastating to me.
Truth is, I don't know where any of those 30 + people is except Fred Rash, because one of the other pictures was of Fred--white haired and bearded like me--at an Anawalt picnic. He had on a hat proclaiming he was a veteran--Viet Nam surely--and look a bit older than I think I look...but whose to know if the way I look to me is accurate.
OK, I'm going back to that Face book page to find out some more....
I watch her in the garden
I sit on the deck, pretending to read,
but I'm really watching Bern in the yard,
working. Hours each day she bend, kneels, sits,
doing things I scarcely understand at all.
Sometimes I feel a tiny bit guilty:
her working so hard, me reading, watching
her work. But then I remember that I
could never do whatever she's doing.
So I watch--admiring all that she does
without understanding it, yet loving
how intense and focused she always is.
If I call to her it takes two, three calls
to rouse her from her attention to dirt,
plants, flowers, the implements she works with.
There is something almost spiritual
in her attention to the task at hand.
I envy her that: the zen of it all.
Those who are close to the rich fragrant earth
are closest of us all to deep-down Life.
but I'm really watching Bern in the yard,
working. Hours each day she bend, kneels, sits,
doing things I scarcely understand at all.
Sometimes I feel a tiny bit guilty:
her working so hard, me reading, watching
her work. But then I remember that I
could never do whatever she's doing.
So I watch--admiring all that she does
without understanding it, yet loving
how intense and focused she always is.
If I call to her it takes two, three calls
to rouse her from her attention to dirt,
plants, flowers, the implements she works with.
There is something almost spiritual
in her attention to the task at hand.
I envy her that: the zen of it all.
Those who are close to the rich fragrant earth
are closest of us all to deep-down Life.
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