Dry Cleaner rant

So, I take two sport coats--one blue and one khaki--to the dry cleaner.

The young woman there--a new employee--says the blue blazer is a 'sport coat' but the khaki one is a 'coat'. When I get to my car I see the charge for the blue blazer is $8 and for the khaki blazer is $18.50. So, I go back in and show her how both garments are the same--in fact the khaki blazer has no lining and the blue blazer does.

So, she tries another category and it turns our the khaki sport coat will cost $16.50 to clean.

I tell her it's not $16.50 dirty and take it back.

When I go on Saturday to pick up the blue coat, I'll take the khaki one with me and try again.

They are the same jacket, something you wear with jeans or pants with pleats and a shirt. Yet one is twice as much to clean. Go figure that, if you can.

She was new and 'just following what she was told'.

Isn't that the problem--following what we're told instead of thinking for ourselves?

Two identical kind of outer wear. What's the issue here?

Something to ponder--thinking for ourselves as opposed to 'following the rules'.

Could make a huge difference in how life shows up for us.

A huge difference.

Can you know each other 'too well'?

Monday, I bought an organic catalope. Tuesday, not checking the fruit bin in the refrigerator, Bern bought one too.

Wednesday, I bought Saran Wrap, which I knew we needed, only to open the 'wrap drawer' to find she'd done it the day before.

We do stuff like that all the time. We know what the other is thinking but don't really 'know that we know', so we duplicate each other.

We have great conversations, but the 'real' conversations we have are wordless.

Just like that.

I've know her since I was 17 and she was 14. Imagine that! 51 years is how long and you can do the math but I'll tell you--about 70 percent of my life and 78+ percent of her life.

Amazing! 7 or 8 of every 10 days we've lived, Bern and I have known each other, dated, been married, been in love.

Hard to imagine such a thing, really.

No wonder we 'think' alike and duplicate each other.

I can't really imagine a life wherein I haven't spent nearly 80% of my days knowing Bern. We've been married, come September 5, 45 years. That's over 60% of my life--Monday morning through sometime in the evening on Thursday of every day of my life, I've been married to her.

Astonishing.

Cantalope and Saranwrap aren't the half of it...not even a beginning.

I can't imagine what life would have been like without Bern.

I really can't.

And I'm glad I can't. Really.

Logging off

I decided today that at least one day a week from now on, I won't use any tech device. I only have two, unlike most people, my computer and cell phone. On Tuesdays, from now on, I won't turn either on. That means I can't post to this blog on Tuesdays in the future. But I'll try to make up by doubling up on Monday or Wednesday.

This is my rebellion against what has come to annoy me much--smart phones in peoples hands.

I noticed 14 (once I started counting) people talking on their phones or flipping through them in the grocery store today. Go to the grocery store and shop, for goodness sake! You can catch up on whatever you're catching up on once your home.

I'm bemoaned before the people walking on the old C&O Canal on their phones. Dogs and children and the beauty of nature ignored, concentrating on a device in their hand!

Luddites, unite! I say.

We're flying to the beach this September. Bern and I usually bring 10 or 12 books and won't be able to. She's thinking of getting a Kendal, or whatever else there is. I decided that since I've never been in a Beach House that had no books, I'd take my chances and read what's there.

There was an Atlantic Monthly Cover in the last year that showed two very attractive people, scantily dressed, almost embracing each other except that both were looking over the others' shoulder at the smart phone in their hand. The name of that cover story was 'The end of Intimacy'.

I don't think that's far off.

If I get really into this I might just add a day every month or so that the only way you could contact me was by calling my home phone--on the wall in the kitchen, writing me a letter and mailing it or dropping by. (Though I don't recommend the last one since our dog hates strangers knocking at the door.)

I'm one of those folks who don't mind if the NSA is gathering my data--boring!--but I do resent how we are given so many options to face to face encounters.

I read a book by Susan Smart yesterday (I think that's her name) set in 1973. No one had a cell phone. To get in touch with someone you needed a land line or a car.

Those were the days, my friends....I really believe that.

(As I said: "Luddites, Unite!!!")

Talkin' to hear your head rattle...

That's what my grandmother used to say to me and my six first cousins that lived close to her when we'd be overly chatty.

I've often wondered where she got that saying. It always made us shut up, for sure.

This was my mother's mother, Lina Manona Sadler Jones. My father's mother died before I was born.

Joel and Gail and Duane and Marlin and Mejol and Bradley and I could talk a lot.

Just to hear our head rattle from time to time.

Talitha Cum

(I don't think I've ever shared this sermon.)

July 1, 2012—Emmanuel, Killingworth

Jim Bradley

Desperate times, I've heard tell, call for desperate measures.

And what could be a more desperate time than a terminally ill child? So, her father, Jarius, a leader of the synagogue, takes desperate measures. Jarius—a respected and conservative leader of the synagogue—approaches an iterate teacher and miracle worker. Jarius falls at Jesus' feet, risking his own reputation, and begs the strange rabbi to come and heal his child.

Jesus is impressed by Jarius' belief and agrees to go.

There are three things in Mark's Gospel that are always present. First is the crowds—there are crowds everywhere and always, grasping for Jesus, jostling him, making him so put upon that from time to time he escapes to 'a lonely place' to be by himself. The second omnipresent aspect of Mark is the urgency of everything. The word we translate as “immediately” occurs more in Mark than in the whole rest of the Bible. It is always crowded and things happen 'immediately'. Finally, there is the secrecy motif. Over and again in Mark, just as today with Jarius and his wife, Jesus tells people to 'tell no one' what has happened. Either he wants to cut down the crowds or it is brilliant reverse psychology since as soon as you tell someone not to talk about what happened, they can't help themselves and tell everyone!

As they move toward Jarius' house, the second desperate situation comes into play. A woman who has been bleeding for 12 years and spent all her money on doctors, sees her chance to touch Jesus and be healed. This is double un-kosher!. First of all, a woman would never touch a man in public in the first century. Never. Not ever. It just wasn't done. Plus, this woman is bleeding (“an issue of blood” older translations said) and blood is unclean in Jewish law and thought. For a bleeding woman to touch a Jewish man would be anathema if not worse!

But she does touch him. And she is healed.

You know that old saying, “seeing is believing”? Well, I read another saying written by, of all people Saul Alinsky. Alinsky said, “we will see it when we believe it....” That describes the desperate measures of Jarius and the woman. They believed in Jesus, trusted in his power, and so they saw their solutions to their problems.

Oddly enough, Jesus feels his power leave him and says, “who touched me?”

The disciples are incredulous. “The crowds are everywhere,” they tell him, “who could tell who all touched you?”

The woman comes forward and confesses that it was her, again kneeling at his feet. Jesus is moved and tells her that 'her faith has made her whole'.

Then messengers from Jarius' home arrive, telling him his daughter is already dead and not to trouble Jesus any more. They are probably trying to avoid the scandal of a suspect rabbi showing up at the leader of the synagogue's house.

But Jesus tells him, “Fear not, only believe” and they continue on.

There is a beautiful poem by Patrick Overton called “The Leaning Tree”. Part of it goes like this:

When we walk on the edge

of all the light we have

and step off into the unknown,

we must believe that one

of two things will happen:

there will be something solid

for us to stand on

or

we will be taught to fly.

That's where Jarius and the woman with the hemorrhaging find themselves in their desperate situations. They have stepped off into the unknown, believing that either they will find firm footing or learn to fly.

When they arrive at the house, they are met with weeping people, mourning deeply. Jesus tells them not to make such a scene, that the girl is merely sleeping. And they laugh at him!

Perhaps they were professional mourners as were common since they could go from despair to laughter so easily. But Jesus takes the mother and father and his three closest disciples into the room where the girl is. He takes her hand and says those beautiful Aramaic words, “Talitha, cum” ('little girl, get up). And the girl is alive again. And he tells them to give her something to eat. Death makes you hunger, I suppose.

What we are called to do, in our lives, day by day, is precisely what Jarius and the woman did. We are called to 'walk on the edge of all the light we have and step off into the unknown'. We are called to take the risk of trust and belief. And we are called to know that either 'there will be something solid for us to stand on or we shall be taught to fly.'

God will give us safe footing or teach us, beyond all imagining, to fly, to soar....

God will be with us in all the unknown moments of our lives.

Amen.

Horse Racing and Life

Until today, there had only been 11 Triple Crown winners since 1919. Eleven in 95 years. But today, American Pharaoh became number 12--the first since 1978 (Affirmed).

There have only been five Triple Crown winners in my lifetime: 1948 (Citation), I was one year old and obviously didn't care; 1977 (Seattle Slew) and 1973 (Secretariat): and today, of course.

I remember watching the races with Seattle Slew and Secretariat. I don't remember Affirmed as well, though I must have watched one or two.

I didn't see American Pharaoh live, but watched it on line a few minutes ago and actually shed a tear or two. Why would I get misty about horse racing? I've never been to a horse track or bet on a race (I might have seen some harness racing at the West Virginia State Fair when I was very young, but it is a blur of a memory.

Maybe it's because those three races: the Kentucky Derby, the Preakness and the Belmont are part of the American culture in an indelable way. Truth be known, a very small percentage of the country follow horse racing, but those three races are front and center in our collective consciousness. Can't avoid them even if you try.

And the last time the Triple Crown was won, I was 31. Our son was almost 3 and Bern was pregnant with our daughter. We lived on Hazelwood Avenue in Charleston, West Virginia. We were, in many ways, children (still!) raising children.

We used to go to a Kentucky Derby Party every year in New Haven. It doesn't happen anymore, but it was important at the time.

In the 37 years since Affirmed won the Triple Crown, my life has gone on and on.

You need milestones as you go along. Posts to tie the years to. I think that's what it is. Every year the Triple Crown races intrude into my life. And the only posts in the ground is when one horse wins them all.

So, I wept with joy and sadness for all the joy and sadness (much more joy than sadness, I'm glad to report) since Affirmed.

Thank you, American Pharaoh, for giving me a touchstone to my life in the last 37 years...my father's death, the death of both Bern's parents, Mimi's birth, both those amazing lives (Josh and Mimi), their marriages, our granddaughters. So much life since the last Triple Crown.

It's wonderful to ponder your life. And, in some weird way, American Pharaoh caused me to ponder.

Thank you Triple Crown....

Why I'm an Episcopalian

I want to share with you a sermon I preached 11 years and 11 months ago. A lot in the sermon has been long settled--questions about homosexuality, which was THE ISSUE facing the 2003 General Convention. But much of this sermon still applies.

(I may have already posted this: but I'm not willing tonight to go through the almost 1300 posts to see. So, if I already did, I'm doing it again. Lots of stuff in life is what we do again and again....)

Why I’m an Episcopalian….

July 27, 2003

This little book is called 101 Reasons to be an Episcopalian. Since much of what I want to say today is about the Episcopal Church, I’m going to read several of them to you as we go along.

# 87 by a woman priest from Florida: “We don’t have all the answers and we welcome others who love the questions.”

# 86 by a laywoman in Rochester: “Catholic, without the pope and with women; protestant without the gloom….”

Tomorrow at 9:55 a.m., God willing and the creek don’t rise, I’ll be on an airplane headed to Minneapolis, Minnesota and the General Convention of the Episcopal Church as one of our Diocese’s 4 clergy deputies.

I want you to know this: I am both proud and humbled to be one of the four priests representing the Diocese of Connecticut at the General Convention. Proud and humbled—both at the same time…. Both together…. Just like that….

Reason # 52: “this is the only church that is as lovingly loony as your family.” Mary Lyons, Diocese of Olympia

#80—a layman from Atlanta: “We don’t quiz you on your beliefs before worshipping with you.”

What I want to tell you about the General Convention of our church is this (it’s a quote from Dame Julian of Norwich): “All will be well and all will be well and all manner of things will be well….”

That’s not the message you will hear in the news media about the goings-on at General Convention. What you will hear—unless you log on the St. John’s web site and get my “reports” from the Convention—is this: the church is in a mess it can’t get out of…everything is falling apart…the Episcopal Church is about to split asunder and blow up like a cheap balloon.

My advice is this: don’t listen to that negative stuff.

My mantra is this: “all will be well….”

***

In today’s gospel, Jesus walks on water.

Twenty years ago or more now, one of my favorite poets, the late Denise Levertov, said this: “The crisis of faith is the crisis of imagination. If we cannot imagine walking on the waters, how can we meet Jesus there?”

Denise Levertov said that at a conference of poets and theologians. For my money, you couldn’t beat that combination—poets and theologians…people who anguish over “language” and people who fret about “God”. Poets and theologians—now you’re talking….

***

Let’s cut to the chase—the real issue facing the General Convention, in one way or another, is the issue of homosexuality.

There is a remarkable amount of disagreement within the Episcopal Church about homosexuality. And that disagreement will come to the General Convention in several ways. It will come up over the confirmation of the election of Gene Robinson as the next bishop of New Hampshire. Gene Robinson has been a priest for 30 years. He is currently the assistant to the Bishop of New Hampshire. He heads committees for the national church. He happens to be a gay man in a committed relationship with another man.

There are 10 other elections of Bishops that will come to the General Convention. Not since the 1870’s has the larger church overruled the choice of a Diocese as their bishop. And the 10 other bishops elected in the last 3 months will be approved by General Convention without debate and unanimously. But not Gene Robinson….

If I were a betting man, I’d say the odds of Gene Robinson being approved by General Convention are 4 to 1 in favor. And when that happens you will read and hear how the Episcopal Church is about to fly apart and self-destruct.

I would urge you not to believe that.

I would urge you to believe this instead: “all will be well….”

One thing the Episcopal Church is blessed with in abundance is “imagination.” We will walk on the waters…. And all will be well….

#32 by Elizabeth Geitz, a Canon at the Cathedral of the Diocese of New Jersey: “The Episcopal Church taught me that Jesus came to challenge, not just comfort; to overturn, not maintain; to love, not judge; to include, not cast aside.

Most likely the Convention will also vote on whether or not to ask the Standing Liturgical Commission to prepare a ritual for the blessing of committed relationships outside of marriage. No matter what you hear in the media—General Convention is not voting to approve “gay marriages”.

“Marriage” is a function of the state, not the church, so General Convention has no say in “marriage law”. Because of Connecticut state law, an Episcopal priest can legally sign a marriage license as an “agent of the state”. What I do, as a priest, in a marriage, is ask God’s blessing on the commitment and fidelity of the man and woman. What General Convention will most likely consider is whether there should be a service to bless the monogamous, faithful, life-long relationship of two people that is not marriage. The resolution is, in one way, separating what the “church does” from what the “state does.” If that resolution passes—and I’d put the odds at 2 to 1 in favor of it passing—the church will develop, over the next three years, a ritual to bless “relationships” other than marriage.

If that resolution passes, you will hear that Liberals and Conservatives are about to tear our church apart. I’d urge you to suspend your judgment and remember this: “all will be well, all manner of things will be well….”

# 11, Barbara Ross, Diocese of Oregon: “At our best, Episcopalians can respectfully disagree about a great many things—and still break bread together.”

#13, by Carter Heyward of Massachusetts, one of the first 7 women ordained a priest…before the General Convention approved women’s ordination: “We believe that love without justice is sentimentality.”

There is a sense of daja vu about all the media hype about this year’s General Convention. The Episcopal Church and the Anglican Communion, critics said, were about to implode and fragment a quarter of a century ago over revision of the Prayer Book and the ordination of women.

And it is true that a small number of Episcopalians chose to leave the church after those changes. But the great schism nay-sayers predicted did not happen. We had the patience and imagination to walk on stormy waters. And, if we in the Episcopal Church can find—in the midst of great conflict and disagreement—if we can find “our better selves” we can walk on waters again.

The secret to our “imagination” as a church is that we Episcopalians—deep-down, value “each other” more than we cling to our divisions. And we are, as a church, dominated by a commitment to Justice.

Reason #62 of the 101 reasons to be an Episcopalian comes from Nancy Vogel of the Diocese of Vermont: “Despite or perhaps because of our present disagreements in the Episcopal Church I am reminded that God calls us all together because we aren’t WHOLE without each other.”

Reason #68, a lay person from New York: “I love our church because we don’t think UNITY means UNIFORMITY.”

“All will be well” with us, if we can cling to our passionate commitment to “be together” in the midst of deep differences. We Episcopalians are the only denomination that is practiced at that. Somehow, over our history, we have found the imagination necessary to “belong to each other” even though we disagree. This is a “lovingly loony” church. You don’t have to leave your questions or your intellect or your deeply-held opinions outside the door to be here and share in the sacrament with each other.

We Episcopalians define our “identity” by our worship instead of our dogma. When Queen Elizabeth the First was asked, centuries ago, if members of her church should cross themselves during the Eucharist, she said, wise beyond words: “none must, all may, some should….”

That is the openness and inclusiveness that is one-half of the genius and glory of our church. The other half of that genius and glory is this: we are the most “democratic” church in Christendom. We make our decisions on small matters and great matters by “voting”.

I was “elected” nearly 15 years ago to be your Rector. We “elect” our bishops. The Presiding Bishop of the Church is “elected” by the other bishops. The deputies to General Convention are “elected” to vote for their Dioceses by their Diocesan Conventions. You “elect” the vestry members that make the decisions about St. John’s. And the Vestry makes decisions by “voting”.

The Episcopal Church is a unique American institution, formed at the very same time as our nation by some of the same people. And the founders of our Church understood the wisdom of the founders of our nation—the way to make decisions is by voting…majority rules…. Here in the United States and here in the Episcopal Church, we don’t believe “unity” means “uniformity”. We vote on difficult issues. Then we move on, unified but not uniform. And we deeply, profoundly value the “loyal opposition”.

An “inclusive democracy” is what the Episcopal Church is. The “loyal opposition” is greatly valued by the majority. That was true for those who opposed women’s ordination and the 1979 Book of Common Prayer. It will be true two weeks from now toward those who are disappointed, broken and angry about whatever happens at General Convention. They will be loved. They will be comforted. They will be included. Without them, the church will not be whole.

“All will be well…” It will take a while and some few may choose to leave the church if I’m correct about how the votes will go. But those who are happy about the “votes” won’t want anyone who is unhappy about the “votes” to leave. If they leave it will be their choice and their leaving will be mourned greatly.

And this church will go on. We will welcome all to taste and see how sweet the Lord’s Body and Blood truly is. We will value everyone, no matter what they think or believe. We will never require “uniformity” to have “unity”. And we will stand for love and justice—love and justice and the wonder of God.

That will not change. Not one iota, not one jot.

And all will be well, all will be well, all manner of things will be well….