Yesterday I got 4 robocalls in 20 minutes--all the same: it went like this....
We've been trying to get in touch with you, a somber female voice said, This is the Internal Revenue Service and we are calling to let you know the IRS is filing a law suit against you. You must call the following number (she gives a number with a 305 area code) to hear about this law suit. Then she repeats the number and tells me 'to call immediately'.
Well, I didn't believe it for a moment--since the IRS obviously knows how to get in touch with me! And 4 calls in a quarter of an hour or so just seemed bogus.
I had to call Jane, who prepares our taxes, about a question she had so I told her about the calls.
It seems they start around this time of year and many people call the number and are offered 'a settlement' for their law suit.
What a scam!
And people who aren't as cynical as me might fall for it.
Jane told me the IRS will never call--they use the postal service. Government agencies working together....
Wednesday, March 30, 2016
Tuesday, March 29, 2016
Light switches
Of all the things I'm terrible at--linear time, for example--I may be worst at light switches.
St. John's, Waterbury, where I was for 21 years (if I'd been born there I would have been old enough to vote, drink and smoke when I left!) I never quite got the details of light switches, especially in the church, down.
One day, before a Wednesday Eucharist, I was trying to figure out which of the 20 or more switches turned on the lights in the chapel. Mary, who was blind, was already there for the service.
I tried a dozen switches or so and then called out to her from the back of the church, "Mary, is that enough light in the chapel?"
"I couldn't tell you, Father," she said, not missing a beat, "but thanks for asking...."
We've lived in this house since 1989--27 years come September--and we have lots less switches than St. John's does.
But tonight, shutting off lights to go upstairs to bed, I went from the kitchen to the living room and reached to my right to turn off the light--and the switch is, as it has always been, on the left.
Two switches are by the door to the back porch. I meant to turn off the back porch light and plunged myself into darkness on the first try.
Then, at the back steps there are two switches. One turns on the overhead light in the kitchen (like the one by the porch door does) and one controls the overhead light near the fireplace. I meant to turn off the light in the kitchen and instead turned on the light near the fireplace.
Zero for three, all in one night.
Light switches and Linear Time--what is the connection?
I don't know, but I'll ponder it.
Now I'm going to turn off the light in my office (only one switch, a cinch) and walk down the hallway to our bedroom and turn off the light in the upstairs hall (only one switch available again) so I'll get those right.
But when there is a choice of two, I'll always push the wrong one.
Just the way I am.
Someone looking for the Light and unable to control it.
Ponder that.
A lot like life, I'd say....
St. John's, Waterbury, where I was for 21 years (if I'd been born there I would have been old enough to vote, drink and smoke when I left!) I never quite got the details of light switches, especially in the church, down.
One day, before a Wednesday Eucharist, I was trying to figure out which of the 20 or more switches turned on the lights in the chapel. Mary, who was blind, was already there for the service.
I tried a dozen switches or so and then called out to her from the back of the church, "Mary, is that enough light in the chapel?"
"I couldn't tell you, Father," she said, not missing a beat, "but thanks for asking...."
We've lived in this house since 1989--27 years come September--and we have lots less switches than St. John's does.
But tonight, shutting off lights to go upstairs to bed, I went from the kitchen to the living room and reached to my right to turn off the light--and the switch is, as it has always been, on the left.
Two switches are by the door to the back porch. I meant to turn off the back porch light and plunged myself into darkness on the first try.
Then, at the back steps there are two switches. One turns on the overhead light in the kitchen (like the one by the porch door does) and one controls the overhead light near the fireplace. I meant to turn off the light in the kitchen and instead turned on the light near the fireplace.
Zero for three, all in one night.
Light switches and Linear Time--what is the connection?
I don't know, but I'll ponder it.
Now I'm going to turn off the light in my office (only one switch, a cinch) and walk down the hallway to our bedroom and turn off the light in the upstairs hall (only one switch available again) so I'll get those right.
But when there is a choice of two, I'll always push the wrong one.
Just the way I am.
Someone looking for the Light and unable to control it.
Ponder that.
A lot like life, I'd say....
Go figure....
Since I can see what people are looking at on my blog, I sometimes notice something odd--like a really old post getting attention.
The following post is from September 2011 and people have been looking at it today. Go figure.
fall fell
I'm writing this with a tee shirt, a long sleeve shirt and a West Virginia University sweatshirt on. It is chilly. Relatively from a few days ago.
I grew up in Anawalt, West Virginia in the southern most county of the state--the free state of McDowell. One of the things I've come to realize having lived in New England and Alexandria, Virginia is that southern West Virginia has arguably the best weather in the US.
Anawalt is further south than Richmond and Lexington. And the elevation is about 2700 feet above sea level. The highest spot in WV is Spruce Knob which is 4200 feet a.s.l.
Because Anawalt was so far south and so high up, surrounded by mountains about 1000 feet higher, the climate was remarkable. We had four months of Spring and four months of Autumn with about 2 months of Winter and Summer. Spring and Autumn were cool at night and warm in the daytime. Summer was sunny but not that hot. A town 30 miles away called Bluefield (nicknamed "Nature's Air-Conditioned City") gave away lemonade any time the temperature got to 90. In the 18 years of my early life, I don't remember more than a few days that free lemonade flowed.
It rained a lot and snowed a lot. But the snow seldom stayed around for more than a few days. Even in winter, the temperature would creep up into the 50's a lot, so the snow would melt.
I actually think McDowell County could be a really ideal retirement place--amazing weather, mountains, friendly people. But then there is this: of all the counties in the contiguous 48 states, McDowell County has the earliest death rate AND the oldest average age.
Ponder that for a moment. People die sooner there than anywhere in the US and yet the average age is the highest. Huh...no young people at all. When I grew up there 50 years or so ago, the county had 12 high schools--6 white and 6 black (McDowell County has about a 50/50 racial divide, the highest outside the deep South, though in the whole state there are only about 5 % black population....go figure that!) Now, to my knowledge, there are only 3 high schools.
The population of McDowell County, when I was growing up there, was about 60,000. Now, bear in mind that the county is about the size of Rd. Island, so we're talking a really rural place. Now, if I'm not mistaken, the population is around 30,000 or less. Go figure. Well, deep coal mining lost out to cutting the tops off of mountains. All the young people left.
Don't tell me there isn't something called Irony: the place in the country with the greatest weather ever is poverty stricken, practically deserted, full of old people who die early and so isolated that even if you wanted to retire there there is almost no easy way to get there.
Ponder that.
What a shame....
Monday, March 28, 2016
One more Easter over....
They were all here--both our children, their spouses, our three living granddaughters and our slumbering one in Mimi's belly--John and Suzanne, his niece, Jack and Sherry and their son, Robbie, and Jay (one of Josh's oldest friends) later.
Easter full of life, as it should be.
Our dog snapped at Robbie, as he has twice before (who knows what's that about? the dog gods?) so Bela was on a leash all day and upstairs in our bedroom with either me or Bern while Jay was here.
Resurrection is sometimes a complicated times--especially when you have a dog who is the worst ever but who you love like a Rock.
Food coming out our ears. I do the 'befores' except Bern breads and fries asparagus--usually canned but this year fresh and much better than what was already very good. I did pate and cheese and crackers and olives and shrimp and deviled eggs.
Then there was two hams--fresh and 'country'--vadellia onion pie, green salad and dandelion risotta (from Sherry and Jack--green salad is lime jello with walnuts and cottage cheese in case you don't know) salad 'salad'. Coconut Cake and Robbie's Chocolate Silk pie for desert. Amazing
And good friends and beloved people and food and laughter and joy (after Bela was on leash!)
Good Friday was John's birthday. I found all these great cards and we gave him the National Geographic "Story of Jesus".
John is one of only a few folks I remember from college.
Suzanne, John's niece, went to Bennington College, where both Tim and Mimi went, more than a decade before.
I'm just rambling now, I know.
John took Tim to the train late Easter afternoon. Josh and Cathy and the girls left in the early morning on Monday for Baltimore. Mimi drove back to Brooklyn just after noon today and will pick Tim up from work in the Empire State Building and they'll go home. (How cool to have a son-in-law who works in the Empire State Building!)
And now, sated with left overs, about to go to bed, I'm writing this.
He is Risen! He IS indeed!
And I feel that way too after so much time with the people I love most in the world and Holy Week with the folks at St. James in Higganum.
Alleluia! I say.
Another Easter has come and Gone.
Alleluia! in lots of ways.
Easter full of life, as it should be.
Our dog snapped at Robbie, as he has twice before (who knows what's that about? the dog gods?) so Bela was on a leash all day and upstairs in our bedroom with either me or Bern while Jay was here.
Resurrection is sometimes a complicated times--especially when you have a dog who is the worst ever but who you love like a Rock.
Food coming out our ears. I do the 'befores' except Bern breads and fries asparagus--usually canned but this year fresh and much better than what was already very good. I did pate and cheese and crackers and olives and shrimp and deviled eggs.
Then there was two hams--fresh and 'country'--vadellia onion pie, green salad and dandelion risotta (from Sherry and Jack--green salad is lime jello with walnuts and cottage cheese in case you don't know) salad 'salad'. Coconut Cake and Robbie's Chocolate Silk pie for desert. Amazing
And good friends and beloved people and food and laughter and joy (after Bela was on leash!)
Good Friday was John's birthday. I found all these great cards and we gave him the National Geographic "Story of Jesus".
John is one of only a few folks I remember from college.
Suzanne, John's niece, went to Bennington College, where both Tim and Mimi went, more than a decade before.
I'm just rambling now, I know.
John took Tim to the train late Easter afternoon. Josh and Cathy and the girls left in the early morning on Monday for Baltimore. Mimi drove back to Brooklyn just after noon today and will pick Tim up from work in the Empire State Building and they'll go home. (How cool to have a son-in-law who works in the Empire State Building!)
And now, sated with left overs, about to go to bed, I'm writing this.
He is Risen! He IS indeed!
And I feel that way too after so much time with the people I love most in the world and Holy Week with the folks at St. James in Higganum.
Alleluia! I say.
Another Easter has come and Gone.
Alleluia! in lots of ways.
Friday, March 25, 2016
Happy Good Friday!
Josh and Cathy and the girls got here just as I was leaving for Maundy Thursday services. (My spell check didn't recognize 'Maundy'--who's running these things?)
They left this morning to visit a friend of Cathy's in Boston and show the girls Beantown. (Spell check doesn't like 'Beantown' either--must be West Coast atheists doing the checking....)
They'll be back tomorrow and stay until Monday.
Mimi arrived this morning and Tim will be here in the morning.
The tribe is gathering.
Just one of the reasons 'Good Friday' is so good.
The other reasons are theological and not nearly as much fun as family....
They left this morning to visit a friend of Cathy's in Boston and show the girls Beantown. (Spell check doesn't like 'Beantown' either--must be West Coast atheists doing the checking....)
They'll be back tomorrow and stay until Monday.
Mimi arrived this morning and Tim will be here in the morning.
The tribe is gathering.
Just one of the reasons 'Good Friday' is so good.
The other reasons are theological and not nearly as much fun as family....
Wednesday, March 23, 2016
OK, we've now moved to 'too much'...
Just when you thought the political debate couldn't get any crasser or more demeaning--well, you were wrong!
A Ted Cruz Super PAC ran an ad in Utah (where Mormans live) of Donald Trump's wife naked in some magazine spread saying something like "meet your new first lady...or you could vote for Ted Cruz."
It was Donald's (I think) third and current wife (and why hasn't that come up among Evangelicals?).
So Trump tweeted (if elected he will run the country through Twitter!) that he might "spill the beans" on Ted's wife. Whatever the hell that means.
OK, adult people know to stop before trashing another person's spouse. They just do.
I'm through writing about these adolescents until they start 'dising each others' mothers.
That's sure to come, given the way all this is going.
I give the nomination to which one--Ted or Donnie--uses the MF word first....It's just what their supporters deserve.
A Ted Cruz Super PAC ran an ad in Utah (where Mormans live) of Donald Trump's wife naked in some magazine spread saying something like "meet your new first lady...or you could vote for Ted Cruz."
It was Donald's (I think) third and current wife (and why hasn't that come up among Evangelicals?).
So Trump tweeted (if elected he will run the country through Twitter!) that he might "spill the beans" on Ted's wife. Whatever the hell that means.
OK, adult people know to stop before trashing another person's spouse. They just do.
I'm through writing about these adolescents until they start 'dising each others' mothers.
That's sure to come, given the way all this is going.
I give the nomination to which one--Ted or Donnie--uses the MF word first....It's just what their supporters deserve.
Tuesday, March 22, 2016
What does my PC want?
There are lots of things I still don't like about my new computer.
For example, WORD is a nightmare. I don't know how I used to write documents but it was a lot simpler. Just like this--spell check isn't available unless I ask for it by typing 'check spelling' in a box. And I need spell check a lot!
But the thing that drives me craziest is that no matter what settings I set, my computer goes to sleep in about two minutes. Then it shows me a picture and asks what I think of it "I'm not a fan" and "I want more" are the only two options.
I've never 'wanted more' of any picture of inanimate objects (no matter how artistic!) or anything with a human being in it. I want nature, nature, nature, nature....Get it PC?
No.
Today photos of tools, a man climbing an ice wall and a room full of people showed up.
I've had this computer 6 months or more and all I've ever been a 'fan' of is pictures of nature, nature, nature, nature....What's so hard about that?
"We'll show you more like this", my PC tells me when I pick a nature/nature/nature photo as a fan. Then a day or two later, there's a photo of a violin--a perfectly lovely violin--but I want nature, nature, nature, nature you a-hole PC!!!
What's so hard about that?
Give me a view of a bay with funny islands or a forest or a seascape or the night sky and I'm a 'fan'.
No more artistic violins or tools.
Is that so hard?
Stupid PC....
For example, WORD is a nightmare. I don't know how I used to write documents but it was a lot simpler. Just like this--spell check isn't available unless I ask for it by typing 'check spelling' in a box. And I need spell check a lot!
But the thing that drives me craziest is that no matter what settings I set, my computer goes to sleep in about two minutes. Then it shows me a picture and asks what I think of it "I'm not a fan" and "I want more" are the only two options.
I've never 'wanted more' of any picture of inanimate objects (no matter how artistic!) or anything with a human being in it. I want nature, nature, nature, nature....Get it PC?
No.
Today photos of tools, a man climbing an ice wall and a room full of people showed up.
I've had this computer 6 months or more and all I've ever been a 'fan' of is pictures of nature, nature, nature, nature....What's so hard about that?
"We'll show you more like this", my PC tells me when I pick a nature/nature/nature photo as a fan. Then a day or two later, there's a photo of a violin--a perfectly lovely violin--but I want nature, nature, nature, nature you a-hole PC!!!
What's so hard about that?
Give me a view of a bay with funny islands or a forest or a seascape or the night sky and I'm a 'fan'.
No more artistic violins or tools.
Is that so hard?
Stupid PC....
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