From a long time ago and I still agree....

I was looking back on my earliest posts and came across this one. I like it. Not many people looked at my blog back then. (I had 245 page views yesterday but I think only 4 or 5 read this 11/16/2009 one.) But those old ones aren't bad. Go back to 2009 if what I write now seems banal....

 

Monday, November 16, 2009

to blog or not to blog?

Several people have told me they noticed I haven't posted a blog in quite a while. Two thoughts come to me out of that: first, why do people read these ponderings? and secondly, since they do, why am I so inconsistent in writing them?

I have enough ego to think that maybe, just maybe, the answer to the first question is that what I write here is of some interest and, might I hope?, some value.

The second question is easier to answer: I hate what has become of communications in this space and time. Many of the worst mistakes very good communicators have made was when they decided to write emails instead of letters or phone calls or face to face conversation. I allowed myself to be put on face book, but don't try to be my 'friend' since I've looked at my page exactly once in the six months or so it has been there. And I don't give a fig about a tweet or a twitter.

Here is the serious point to all that--other than I'm too lazy to keep up with it all and have not a little hubris about being 'unconnected' while all the world is 'connected'--all this stuff challenges and confounds my profound belief in privacy.

I read on my face book page, the time I looked at it, several notes on my 'wall'--(writing on a wall is a terribly impersonal form of communication to me)--about what people I know and love and deeply respect were up to. One of my dear friends (I mean FRIENDS, not a Face book friend) let me know she was watching Lost on TV. Another let me know they were considering having a beer or two and going to bed. A third let me know what she was in the middle of having for dinner.

I simply don't want to be responsible for keeping anyone from a beer or two for even a moment, or delaying sleep to write on my wall. Plus, I have no interest really in what anyone is watching on TV and certainly don't care about my friends eating habits enough to want them to stop eating to let me know about what it is they are eating. Now, if that sounds harsh and 'disinterested', let me tell you this: "I just spell checked this document and spell check let me correct facebook as 'face book' and 'Face book' on the same spell check." I find that mildly interesting and momentarily ironic that something called "Spell Check" agrees with (I think it was George Washington) the person who said anyone who had to be consistent in spelling has little imagination. {Plus, I just spell checked again and changed 'consistant' to consistent.}

I honestly love 'spell check' since I tend to invert letters--like, I spelled "John" Jhon until I was in high school. But the stuff people write on my wall, just me thinking and writing, seem to be things they would be better served to keep to themselves. I'll have to spell check it, but most everything people wrote on my wall was 'banal' (Hey, I just spelled 'banal' correctly!) I should go on Face book/face book and post that for all my friends...."Jim just spelled 'banal' correctly without any help!"

My tongue is in my cheek, in case you wondered, but I do ponder why we are driven to share stuff that isn't terribly interesting on Face book/face book. And tweets are eons beyond my ken. Though people tell me (I don't know if it is true) that Face book doesn't put things in third person any more, writing something that requires a limited number of letters, words, syllables--whichever--seems to defeat the reality that we all have volumes to say. Twitter would be better served to ask people to communicate in haiku (not even going to spell check that). I'd like receiving haiku from 'friends'. Maybe we could start a service where we 'hike' haiku to each other in real time. I could get into that.

All this is to explain why I haven't been blogging. I simply like having secret thoughts and pondering experiences that no one need ever know I pondered. It seems to me one of the things that make people interesting is the 'mystery' of them--how we can never know what someone else is thinking no matter how much we wish we could. I began to think that if I blogged all the time, I would lose my mystery, my private thoughts, the stuff I want to keep inside and let no one else know about.

That's an interesting question: what are the thoughts you would never, ever, not for a moment, not to anyone reveal? Every time someone says to me, "a penny for your thoughts" I reply, "oh, they're worth a lot more than that--and you can't afford them!"

I know it's not 'true', like TRUE that the Internet will suck out all our thoughts eventually, but I do believe we're leaving the barn door open by never having private thoughts. Lots of stuff on the Internet, people tell me, is cruel, ugly and untrue. People tell me, since I don't look for it, that you can find sites where people say horrible things about our President, people in the media, public figures and even their friends. I hear that blogs and stuff cause a great deal of pain (not to mention law suits) among young folks. I don't know personally, but I've been told that young people send nude pictures of themselves to each other on their smart phones. My phone is definitely not 'smart'. In fact, it is stupid--or maybe its owner is. Maybe I could be sending text messages that would be even more thoughtless than some of my emails have been if I were more adroit at the little phone I carry with me. I'm sure my phone is at least smart enough to refuse to take a picture of me naked. I hope so, though I believe, if I knew how, I could take such a picture and send it out to the world. God help us....

Any way, having gone on and on about how I think the electronic revolution has created a guillotine (I did spell check that--boy was I wrong!) many of our heads are being shoved under, I do think I will blog again.

I will seek to avoid being banal (spelled it right again!) and I will be responsible about how much I violate my privacy. And I do hope--though the writing is what gives me joy--that someone might read what I write from time to time. I don't know why, but there are things I want to share and a blog (that by the way is as unfortunate a word as 'twitter'!) is one way to do that.

So, I'm back and I have some things to say....

Exhaustion

That in itself--'exhaustion'--may save the President who shall not be named from his fate.

There's just so much, every single day, every hour, to enrage me that I may become exhausted with rage and just let it be as it is.

I hope not. I hope I can keep my rage and indignation and disappointment going at high speed. That's what we all need to do.

Robert Muller got  his first indictments today (still under a seal by the judge that gave them) and your president and his talking heads can't stop talking about Obama and uranium and Hillary's emails.

Distraction is his greatest (perhaps only) working strategy. Throw attention somewhere else when the Truth gets too close. Change the subject. Insult someone. Say something so ridiculous people can't believe you said it out loud. That's all he and his minions do.

And meanwhile, the environment's protection is being dismantled, heath care is being gutted, anything labeled "regulation" is under attack, whatever it's meant to regulate and a tax plan/budget that will deeply damage the poor and enrich the rich is making it's way through the Republican controlled Congress.

Shake off your exhaustion. Stand up and speak out. Living in Connecticut (one of the most Blue of Blue States) it's hard to figure out how to take action. But we all must.

Muller could shake things up soon. The 2018 elections could change the landscape. Impeachment doesn't seem the distant dream it once was.

Get some sleep and ratchet up your Rage!

Let's do this. For the country's sake. For the world's sake. For our sake....For goodness sake....

Josh and Mimi

OK, I promised to write about my children, so here it is.

You must know I love them like a rock. What I want to do in this post is tell you, not why I love them (they're my kids, I Love Them!) but what I admire about them.

First of all, they couldn't be more different. Josh is super-extroverted, brash, loud, very funny and the center of attention. In the photos I was telling you about a few days ago, every photo of Josh has an expression that says, "about time you took my picture!" In only two, one when he is petting our dear cat, Luke, and one when he's watching Cathy hold one of the twins is his guard down. And he just looks adoring of both cat and baby. Everything he says sounds like "didn't think you knew that!"

Mimi, on quite the other hand, is an introvert like her mother. Soft, kind, also funny and stays out of the center of attention. Mimi in my photos seems to be saying, "why are doing this?" She is so quiet you hardly know she's around and everything she says is like she's sharing a secret. But she's also always had jobs that expose her to the public, so she fakes 'outgoing' very well when she needs to.

Josh, at 42, just made partner in one of the largest law firms in Baltimore. He works in bankruptcy and taxes and his unit kept the firm afloat during the recession when people weren't suing each other but were going bankrupt and wanting tax help. He could go as far in law as he wants but I believe he'd really like to run a comic shop.

Mimi, at 39, is second-in-command at an Architectural Magazine that puts out breathtaking coffee table stuff. She worked at the American Ballet Company as assistant and then head of Development and at Jacob's Pillow in the same role until the trips to Massachusetts and time away from Tim made he come back to Brooklyn full time. She raises money and runs things like I never, ever could. And she has always seemed to enjoy what she does even (or maybe 'because') it calls her to preform. She was an actress in High School--star in "Our Town" after all.

Their mates are remarkable. Cathy Chen, who is from Baltimore and that drew them back from New York City where they met in law school. Cathy was on the last subway that went through the World Trade Center before the events of 9/11! She is a prosecutor for the City of Baltimore and has been short listed as a city judge.

Tim McCarthy works for Linked In. His office is in the Empire State Building, of all places. And he is a talented musician and writer. He wrote a song he sung for Mimi at their wedding. He and Mimi met at Bennington College but weren't a couple until they were both living in Brooklyn. Tim and Mimi go on vacation with us to Oak Island, NC every September. He writes music and takes Linked In calls while we're there.

Josh and Cathy and Mimi and Tim seem to me to adore each other. And they've given Bern and me four granddaughters to die for.

When they were younger--in their teens and twenties--I used to worry they wouldn't be close--Josh and Mimi, I mean. But the granddaughters have made them close. Emma, Morgan and Tegan Bradley can't get enough of baby Eleanor. Josh is in New York on business and always meets with Mimi. They have been with us--the whole crew--last Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter since Cathy's parents don't 'do' Christian holidays and Tim's parents are in Florida--and will be this Thanksgiving as well. Josh and Mimi seem genuinely fond of each other. Being an only child, I can't imagine how that feels but I bet it feels better than any of the options....

They are such remarkable people: Jeremy Johanna and Joshua Dylan. Of course I love them, would if they weren't remarkable at all because they're my children. But being able to 'love them' and admire them and respect them so profoundly...what a gift. What a blessing....

Bern and I pinch ourselves and each other from time to time. We didn't deserve these two. We were devoted but no 'super' parents.

Such a blessing those two. Our gift to the larger world....through no merit of our own....

Heads up....

I have these photos on my computer that sequence when I'm away for a while. They're all a decade old or so. Photos of pets who are now dead are there (grieve, grieve) and photos of the twins (Morgan and Emma) as babies in Brooklyn and at our house (joy, joy). And photos of flowers of all things--I must have thought of myself as a nature photographer at some point.

But most, most of all, there are photos of Joshua Dylan and Jeremy Johanna (Josh and Mimi) our two children. Cathy Chen, Josh's wife and mother of three granddaughters is there. No Tim McCarthy, Mimi's husband and father of one granddaughter--he wasn't around a decade or so ago. And lots of photos of Bern with babies and pets and son and daughter.

But what I'm going to write about tomorrow or Wednesday (don't hold me to one or the other) is the photos of Josh and Mimi.

Lordy, Lordy, our creations, our children, my heart.

I've never really shared my emotions about them.

But I will soon. From those photos I see every day.

Heads up. Stay tuned.

Bela's first letter

Our dog got a letter today.

It was the first letter he ever received and he's 12 years old (84 in human years though I think I heard they changed the 7 year thing).

Bern has four letters and starts with B, so when I glanced at it I thought it must be for her. Then I looked again and it was 'Bela'!

He's gotten post cards from the vet telling him he is due some shot--but this was a letter in an envelope. First one ever for him.

It was from another dog. A dog of a politician.

Politician dogs must be smarter than other dogs because it was from a word processor. Bela can't spell much less type.

I thought it was a little (not much) whimsical. Bern, who hates politicians thought it was cheesy and dumb, plain dumb.

I don't know what Bela thought. I told him he got a letter but he didn't ask me to read it to him and I know he can't read.

You'd think a politician's dog--someone running for office in Cheshire--would know regular dogs can't read. So I guess politicians' dogs aren't that smart after all.

But the typing is impressive....

Autumn

Autumn is my favorite season. Here in New England it is the time to wear shorts with a sweater!

The leaves seem to be taking their time turning their festive colors--climate change and more rain than usual, I suspect. Surely further north than Connecticut the trees are ablaze by now.

Warmish days and chilly nights, what can beat that?

I know I've mentioned it before, but Autumn brings to mind the place I grew up, in the southernmost county of West Virginia. (I just looked on a map to make sure I'm not lying--where I grew up was several miles south of Richmond, Virginia. Anawalt was in a valley that was still 1680 feet above sea level while Richmond is 150 feet above sea level (looked those up too!)

Even that far south, being up in the mountains made for an ideal climate. Four months of Spring and Autumn and two months of Summer and Winter. Winters were a lot worse in the mountains than in Richmond, but nothing like Connecticut. And Spring and Autumn just lingered and lingered.

I'm tempted to look at the long term weather predictions, but I think I'll just keep on my shorts and my sweater and hope this weather lingers and lingers as well.

And I do hope the leaves get riotous soon....

Shooting baskets in the dark

I was just out on the back porch and heard two of our next door neighbor kids shooting baskets on the driveway with just the light from the back porch.

Through much of my life before college, I had a hoop on grass/dirt, not a driveway, and would shoot baskets until the ball hit me in the face because I didn't see it.

I spent so much of my early life playing basketball that it amazes me.

I was a decent toward good junior high school player. I scored 12 points and had as many assists in the 9th grade for Anawalt Junior High against Gary Junior High. The Gary High School coach even greeted me and told me he'd be looking for me the next year. I was ecstatic!

Problem was, I had reached my full height in 9th grade and when I started 10th grade at Gary High everyone else had had a growth spurt over the summer....

So I never became the star I dreamed of being, but until I went to college I would often shoot hoops until dark. I loved it, I really did.

Hearing those kids tonight brought back a flood of twilight memories and the feel of the basketball in my hands for all those years.

Something to be thankful for: those memories....