Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Truly embarrassing pondering


Honestly, don't read this if you have any shred of respect left for me. This is like toxic to respect.

Back away now, really, I'm begging you.

OK, I warned you.

I go to the bathroom a lot. I mean #2. I'm sure I've mentioned this before. My doctor says 'not to worry' and I don't except I have to plan a lot of things around, well, you know, pooping....

There is a place I often have to go to the bathroom and there are two bathrooms there. One is labeled "Women" and one is labeled "Men/Women". Being socialized to a high degree, I tend almost always to use the latter. However, there is a problem.

The "Men/Women" bathroom had a full length mirror to the left of the sink. I've considered this extensively and I realize that a mirror of the size of that one could not fit on any other wall lest the door open and break it or some other design problem. That is the only place that mirror could go in that room. Really, I've pondered it.

Here's the problem (remember I warned you not to read this blog!): when you're sitting on the toilet, the mirror is to your right and will, if you turn to look, give you a full view of yourself sitting on the toilet.

I've thought about this a lot. I'm not sure that even someone like Angelia Jolie would look good sitting on the toilet. I certainly never fantasize about anyone, anyone living or dead or yet unborn, sitting on a toilet. I invite you to consider (since you avoided my strict and rather severe warnings not to read this) whether or not you want to see yourself in all your glory, sitting on a toilet?

I thought so....

Here's the thing about sitting there with that mirror to my right: the only worse thing than the intense curiosity about turning to look at myself sitting on the toilet is my total disgust when I do so.

Both things happen in rapid succession when I'm sitting on that toilet.

Here's my solution: I'm going to use the "Women" bathroom when I'm there, my socialization be damned....

I've decided. That's my plan and I'm sticking with it....

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some ponderings by an aging white man who is an Episcopal priest in Connecticut. Now retired but still working and still wondering what it all means...all of it.