being happy

My friend John, who is a very unconventional therapist, told me the other day what he sometimes tells his patients.

LISTEN: You can either 'be happy' or have all the reasons you can't be happy.

Did you really read, mark, learn and inwardly digest that?

Here's the question--how can you 'be happy'?

John says, and I absolutely, positively agree: you simply choose to 'be happy'. You either choose that or you choose to 'have' all your considerations, excuses, reasons and stories about why you can't be happy.

I'd prefer to be 'joyful' rather than happy, but I think the same criteria applies: You can either be joyful or have all the reasons you can't be joyful.

So, the search for happiness is solved. It is a choice you make that has nothing to do with the circumstances of your life. The 'circumstances of your life' contribute to the 'reasons' you can't be joyful. You can have them, whatever they all (and I realize we all love our misery) or you can simply choose to be joyful, whatever the circumstances of your life.

That simple.

When I was a young, baby priest in my first parish, whenever I got discouraged, depressed, unhappy, I'd go see Arlene.

Arlene was not much older than me. She had three kids--one in elementary school, one in junior high, one in high school. Shortly after her youngest had been born, Arlene was diagnosed as having muscular dystrophy, which moved aggressively and put her in bed for the rest of her life. Her husband couldn't take it, caring for her and all, and , God bless him, left.

So Arlene was a single mom with a limited income with three kids and she couldn't leave her bed.

They brought her hospital type bed, on wheels, downstairs and she slept in the living room and when it was time to make dinner, one of her kids rolled her into the kitchen to oversee things.

Her children were all honor students though their mom would never be able to go and see their work or talk to their teachers or see them graduate.

And, when I was depressed, discouraged, out-of-sorts, it was Arlene I went to see to get me back on track, cheer me up, convince me of joy.

The circumstances of her life were, at best, horrendous. She had every consideration you could imagine for being 'unhappy' and without joy. And she was the one I'd go to see when I was out of touch with the joy in my life.

Arlene simply chose to be happy, joyful, profoundly alive. She preferred that to 'the reasons she wasn't happy, joyful, alive.

And when I left her, so restricted and in pain and knowing she wouldn't quite live to she her youngest be on her own, I was in touch with the joy and happiness that comes, always and eternally, from within, in spite of circumstances.

Under your castor oil tree, I invite you to ponder this: You can either be happy/joyful or have all the reasons that isn't possible.

It is a choice, as weird and strange as that might seem.

I'd advise that you choose happiness, choose joy and let the 'reasons' and 'circumstances' go the way of all flesh.

Just a thought.