I've over reached

So, I'm in the midst of a ten session class about the so-called Gnostic Christians and the literature from Nag Hammadi in Egypt discovered in 1945.

I've done 5 session classes about it before, but, looking forward to 7 more Fridays, I realize I'm over my head.

I know more about the so-called Gnostic Christian writings than 98% of the people in the world. But to do 10 hour and a half classes I need to know more than 99.5% of the people in the world. I'll spend about four hours tomorrow getting ready for the Gospel of Philip.

Over my head is not something I like. I like to be 'way  ahead of the norm'. That's the way I operate best, being at the top of my game.

When I'm not, I'm a wreck.

Which what I am, not being totally on top of the Gospel of Philip like I'd like to be.

Oh, I could fake it. I'm good at 'faking it' and have a lot of times. But this isn't one of those times.

I'll put in the hours tomorrow and be passing for brilliant, since no one else in the room knows more that 15% of the people in the world know about the so-called Gnostic Christians.

But I don't want to 'fake it', though I could.

I'll put in the time tomorrow and give them my best on Friday.

All I want to do, all of the time, give folks 'my best'.

That's what they deserve.

Next time I teach it will be a five week course about something I know enough about to do 10 weeks. That's what folks deserve. What we all deserve.

More than enough.

Created in the image and likeness of God, we deserve, always and forever, more than enough.

Just like that.