For weeks now, with all the late July and August rains, hardly a day passes when there isn't a time when the sun is shining in part of the sky and part of the sky is cloud covered and raining.
My maternal Grandmother, Lina Manona Sadler Jones used to say, when the sun shone while it was raining: "the devil is beating his wife."
She--and others in the Jones family--are the only people I've ever heard say that.
I wonder if it's an Irish saying--the Irish have the market on strange sayings?
(You see, my great-grandfather Jones was really named O'Connor but he and his two brothers got into such a fight on the voyage over they gave fake names at Ellis Island so they couldn't ever find each other in the new world. "Jones" is Welsh, to add insult to injury. Another thing the Irish have cornered the market on is holding a grudge!)
Or maybe it's a Sadler saying from Britain or Germany.
Who knows? Who could find out?
{Well, hold on, I googled the saying and found out it probably comes from somewhere in the British Isles and in its original form is: 'The Devil is beating his wife behind the door with a shoulder of mutton." And does have to do with raining with the sun shining.}
So, you can ignore my original proposition that only my grandmother said it.
Google is amazing--but the truth is, I much prefer the time, just a minute or two ago, when I thought it was Mam-maw's saying....
Who was it that said, "the truth shall set you free, but first it will piss you off?"
Anyway, given the frequency of the devil's domestic abuse, Mrs. Satan should call the police and social services. And she should find a good divorce lawyer--which shouldn't be hard given where she resides.
And honestly, who, even the Devil, has a shoulder of mutton around?
Sunday, August 12, 2018
Friday, August 10, 2018
Tomorrow
Tomorrow I'm officiating at the marriage of P. and B.
I've known P. since she was 12 years old. I baptized P and B's daughter 10 years ago. They've always been together but just decided 'it was time' to be married.
I love P's family deeply. They are from a minor island in the Caribbean that was devastated last year but is coming back. One of their friends told me that Robert DiNiro is making a land-grab on the island, trying to buy much of it up instead of trying to rehab it. Just lost all faith in him.
A huge family and full of love.
Tomorrow will be a homecoming for me--the service is as St. John's in Waterbury. And it will be a joy.
When I do post marriage counseling the first question I ask the couple is this: Tell me why you want to get married. There's only one wrong answer.
If they say, "we're in love" I tell them that's the one wrong answer.
I say that because I know what they mean is the 'feeling' they get when they look at each other. Feelings come and go. "Love" has to be more than a feeling.
English is not a very good language for discussing 'love'. I can say: "I love my grandchildren" and "I love peanut butter cup ice cream" and the language doesn't distinguish between the difference between Emma/Morgan/Tegan/Eleanor and ice cream.
Greek does it better. Three very different words all translated as 'love' in English.
EROS--you know what that means!
PHILIOS--love between friends as in Philadelphia.
AGAPE--love that gives itself away, would die for the other.
So, in my short homily tomorrow I'll make those distinctions and urge Agape for P and B and everyone there.
Agape is 'love' spelled LOVE......
I've known P. since she was 12 years old. I baptized P and B's daughter 10 years ago. They've always been together but just decided 'it was time' to be married.
I love P's family deeply. They are from a minor island in the Caribbean that was devastated last year but is coming back. One of their friends told me that Robert DiNiro is making a land-grab on the island, trying to buy much of it up instead of trying to rehab it. Just lost all faith in him.
A huge family and full of love.
Tomorrow will be a homecoming for me--the service is as St. John's in Waterbury. And it will be a joy.
When I do post marriage counseling the first question I ask the couple is this: Tell me why you want to get married. There's only one wrong answer.
If they say, "we're in love" I tell them that's the one wrong answer.
I say that because I know what they mean is the 'feeling' they get when they look at each other. Feelings come and go. "Love" has to be more than a feeling.
English is not a very good language for discussing 'love'. I can say: "I love my grandchildren" and "I love peanut butter cup ice cream" and the language doesn't distinguish between the difference between Emma/Morgan/Tegan/Eleanor and ice cream.
Greek does it better. Three very different words all translated as 'love' in English.
EROS--you know what that means!
PHILIOS--love between friends as in Philadelphia.
AGAPE--love that gives itself away, would die for the other.
So, in my short homily tomorrow I'll make those distinctions and urge Agape for P and B and everyone there.
Agape is 'love' spelled LOVE......
Thursday, August 9, 2018
Vacation soon
Lordy, lordy, I'm tired of writing about the President.....
Vacation is only three weeks away. I'm going to think about that instead of He Who Will Not Be Named.
We went to Oak Island, North Carolina--over the Inter coastal waterway from Southport, 30 miles from Wilmington, when Josh was a fetus. We went every year for 2 or 3 or 4 weeks until he was 17 and a couple of years after that. We even owned a house on Long Beach when we were living in the Rectory of St. Paul's, New Haven. It was on the canal, not the ocean front and we only stayed there a time or two, choosing to rent it out long-term to people who came to work at the Nuclear Power Plant 20 miles away.
Then we started going to Block Island because I found this deal with St. Anne's church there--you did the Sunday service and could stay in the house for free for a week. Once, on a sabbatical I spent 5 weeks on 'the Block'. The kids would come for a few days whenever we were there as would our friends John and Jack and Sherry.
Then, 7 or 8 years ago, Mimi called and asked where we used to go when she was a friend and she and her boyfriend--now husband--Tim went. When they came back she called to say they were going every year and we were going with them. John and Sherry and then John and Jack and Sherry tagged along. We rent a huge house on the beach in September because Oak Island is a 'family beach' and kids are back in school and we have yards and yards of private beach.
Two years ago Mimi and Tim didn't go since Eleanor was a newborn and Bern and I didn't go because I tore the ligaments from my knee by missing a step on the back stairs as we were about to go and get the limo with John and Sherry to New York for the flight. John and Sherry rattled around in a 5 bedroom house without any company!
Last year Jack retired and Eleanor was a year old and the 8 of us went and it was magic.
I love Oak Island so much and found out from my Cousin Mejol that my second cousin (Mejol's brother's girl) Kim lives there now with her Veterinarian husband. So I'll get to see Kimmy, who I was once walking when she was three or so and she broke away and went to stomp an ant hill. She came back, took my hand and said, 'they were going to bite Kimmy'. It sort of made sense though I reject the senseless slaughter of ants.
I'll go see her during Vet hours since Mejol tells me Kim's husband is a fan of the president.
(Just when I thought I could write a post without mentioning him.....)
Alas and alack....
Vacation is only three weeks away. I'm going to think about that instead of He Who Will Not Be Named.
We went to Oak Island, North Carolina--over the Inter coastal waterway from Southport, 30 miles from Wilmington, when Josh was a fetus. We went every year for 2 or 3 or 4 weeks until he was 17 and a couple of years after that. We even owned a house on Long Beach when we were living in the Rectory of St. Paul's, New Haven. It was on the canal, not the ocean front and we only stayed there a time or two, choosing to rent it out long-term to people who came to work at the Nuclear Power Plant 20 miles away.
Then we started going to Block Island because I found this deal with St. Anne's church there--you did the Sunday service and could stay in the house for free for a week. Once, on a sabbatical I spent 5 weeks on 'the Block'. The kids would come for a few days whenever we were there as would our friends John and Jack and Sherry.
Then, 7 or 8 years ago, Mimi called and asked where we used to go when she was a friend and she and her boyfriend--now husband--Tim went. When they came back she called to say they were going every year and we were going with them. John and Sherry and then John and Jack and Sherry tagged along. We rent a huge house on the beach in September because Oak Island is a 'family beach' and kids are back in school and we have yards and yards of private beach.
Two years ago Mimi and Tim didn't go since Eleanor was a newborn and Bern and I didn't go because I tore the ligaments from my knee by missing a step on the back stairs as we were about to go and get the limo with John and Sherry to New York for the flight. John and Sherry rattled around in a 5 bedroom house without any company!
Last year Jack retired and Eleanor was a year old and the 8 of us went and it was magic.
I love Oak Island so much and found out from my Cousin Mejol that my second cousin (Mejol's brother's girl) Kim lives there now with her Veterinarian husband. So I'll get to see Kimmy, who I was once walking when she was three or so and she broke away and went to stomp an ant hill. She came back, took my hand and said, 'they were going to bite Kimmy'. It sort of made sense though I reject the senseless slaughter of ants.
I'll go see her during Vet hours since Mejol tells me Kim's husband is a fan of the president.
(Just when I thought I could write a post without mentioning him.....)
Alas and alack....
Amy Kremer
I was watching Elin Burnett on "Up Front" on CNN. OK, I watch CNN and MSNBC for my news--I've told you before I'm so left-wing I scare myself. (And there is this--those two cable networks always have voices from the right, unlike Fox and left-wing voices.)
There was a story on a Neo-Nazi who told a reporter he has 'felt safe' since November of 2016, an obvious reference to the election of the current president.
Elin asked Amy Kremer, co-founder and chair of Women for Trump, to explain how that didn't imply that folks like Neo-Nazis and other extreme white nationalists didn't take solace in The President's positions of them. Like saying after the Charlottesville riots (today or tomorrow is the one year anniversary of that madness) that there were 'good people' on both sides.
Amy said that the President wasn't responsible for the rise of white nationalism in any way and that he wasn't a racist.
A man who did not refuse David Duke's support. A man who has denigrated Hispanics over and again and said Muslims 'hate us'. As Rector of St. John's in Waterbury for 21 years we had a thriving Hispanic congregation and a mosque that used our buildings for their home. The Hispanics were good, moral people and the Muslims appreciated our including them in our family.
A President who wanted to push back on White Nationalism would encourage immigration and welcome hard working Hispanics and Muslims to this 'nation of immigrants'. He would loudly condemn racism and neo-Nazis. He would reject all talk of returning to 'white America'.
But he doesn't.
And Amy Kremer, who may be a fine human being, can't see the cracks in the president's image and can't see racism for what it is.
As the president would tweet: SAD.
There was a story on a Neo-Nazi who told a reporter he has 'felt safe' since November of 2016, an obvious reference to the election of the current president.
Elin asked Amy Kremer, co-founder and chair of Women for Trump, to explain how that didn't imply that folks like Neo-Nazis and other extreme white nationalists didn't take solace in The President's positions of them. Like saying after the Charlottesville riots (today or tomorrow is the one year anniversary of that madness) that there were 'good people' on both sides.
Amy said that the President wasn't responsible for the rise of white nationalism in any way and that he wasn't a racist.
A man who did not refuse David Duke's support. A man who has denigrated Hispanics over and again and said Muslims 'hate us'. As Rector of St. John's in Waterbury for 21 years we had a thriving Hispanic congregation and a mosque that used our buildings for their home. The Hispanics were good, moral people and the Muslims appreciated our including them in our family.
A President who wanted to push back on White Nationalism would encourage immigration and welcome hard working Hispanics and Muslims to this 'nation of immigrants'. He would loudly condemn racism and neo-Nazis. He would reject all talk of returning to 'white America'.
But he doesn't.
And Amy Kremer, who may be a fine human being, can't see the cracks in the president's image and can't see racism for what it is.
As the president would tweet: SAD.
Tuesday, August 7, 2018
Just tell me this...
Just a few questions for you to ponder.
1) Do you sometimes lie on purpose?
2) Do you sometimes lie when you don't realize you are lying? (This is obviously the hardest one to answer....)
3) Do you strike out at your friends and embrace those who really don't like you?
4) Do you make up cruel nick-names for anyone you think is against you?
5) Do you incite friends to hate a group because of what they do for a living? or how they look? or where they come from?
6) Do you distrust and reject scientific facts?
7) Do you refuse to interact with people and ideas that you don't like or agree with?
8) Do you undermine and embarrass those who work closely with you?
9) Do you harass people in public who don't agree with you?
10) Do you talk about women (or any group) as if they were objects and not people?
If you answered 'yes' to more than two or more of those questions, I have some names of psychiatrists I'd be glad to share with you.
And you realize, don't you, that our President would have to answer 'yes' to all of them (except maybe #2, which is tough).
Looking at it that way, is there some psychological reasons He Who Will Not Be Named shouldn't have the job he has and shouldn't be sitting in a circular office and shouldn't be in charge of our lives and futures?
Just ponder it.
And then, do something....
1) Do you sometimes lie on purpose?
2) Do you sometimes lie when you don't realize you are lying? (This is obviously the hardest one to answer....)
3) Do you strike out at your friends and embrace those who really don't like you?
4) Do you make up cruel nick-names for anyone you think is against you?
5) Do you incite friends to hate a group because of what they do for a living? or how they look? or where they come from?
6) Do you distrust and reject scientific facts?
7) Do you refuse to interact with people and ideas that you don't like or agree with?
8) Do you undermine and embarrass those who work closely with you?
9) Do you harass people in public who don't agree with you?
10) Do you talk about women (or any group) as if they were objects and not people?
If you answered 'yes' to more than two or more of those questions, I have some names of psychiatrists I'd be glad to share with you.
And you realize, don't you, that our President would have to answer 'yes' to all of them (except maybe #2, which is tough).
Looking at it that way, is there some psychological reasons He Who Will Not Be Named shouldn't have the job he has and shouldn't be sitting in a circular office and shouldn't be in charge of our lives and futures?
Just ponder it.
And then, do something....
Monday, August 6, 2018
Birds--not songs, just birds
I don't know why--perhaps because of the heat--our yard was full of birds today. I sat on the deck and saw a dozen at a time--cardinals, robins, a yellow wren, sparrows, all over our back yard along with a squirrel or two, a couple of chipmunks and our beloved ground hog.
Bern cut the grass this morning before the worst of the heat and they all seemed intent in seeing what they could find.
Plus, we have a bird bath under the grape vine draped across it's archway support, and many of them were drinking a bit or splashing around.
When I went out to get in the car, two mourning doves that live somewhere near our front porch were there. And there when I came back.
Today has been filled with birds and creatures--our hummingbird came back along with a Monarch and a Black butterfly--not too many butterflies this year.
When I go out later to smoke, there will be a few fireflies in the yard as well.
Creatures is what I've been focusing on today. A good way to not focus on He Who Will Not Be Named, our president and his madness of the day in August.
Creatures--birds, butterflies, groundhogs--are as good as he is dangerous.
Focus on the creatures from time to time--for your blood pressure if nothing else.
Bern cut the grass this morning before the worst of the heat and they all seemed intent in seeing what they could find.
Plus, we have a bird bath under the grape vine draped across it's archway support, and many of them were drinking a bit or splashing around.
When I went out to get in the car, two mourning doves that live somewhere near our front porch were there. And there when I came back.
Today has been filled with birds and creatures--our hummingbird came back along with a Monarch and a Black butterfly--not too many butterflies this year.
When I go out later to smoke, there will be a few fireflies in the yard as well.
Creatures is what I've been focusing on today. A good way to not focus on He Who Will Not Be Named, our president and his madness of the day in August.
Creatures--birds, butterflies, groundhogs--are as good as he is dangerous.
Focus on the creatures from time to time--for your blood pressure if nothing else.
Saturday, August 4, 2018
One more time...
It's been three years since I posted this. I thought of it tonight as I was looking at the plaque on the wall in front of me. It says, "VOCATUS ATQUE NON VOCATUS DEUS ADERIT".
(OK, I'm sure I posted this before but after over 1300 posts I don't
want to go looking to make sure. This is the last sermon I preached at
St. John's, Waterbury, CT after 21 years as Rector. For me, it is one of
the best sermons I ever preached. Hope you like it.)
Thursday, July 16, 2015
Sermon last
THE
LAST DANCE/DEEP IN THE OLD MAN’S PUZZLE
In
one of Robertson Davies’ novels, someone asks an aging priest how,
professing to be a holy man, he could devour a whole chicken and a
bottle of wine at dinner. The priest answers:
“I
am quite a wise old bird, but I am no desert hermit who can only
prophesy when his guts are knotted in hunger. I
am deep in the Old Man’s Puzzle, trying to link the wisdom of the
body with the wisdom of the spirit until the two are one.
In
my two decades in your midst, I have feasted on Joy and Sorrow, on
the Wondrous and the Mundane, trying always to link the wisdom of the
body to the wisdom of the Spirit…Deep in the Old Man’s Puzzle….
****
A
few years ago, for our anniversary I gave Bern a drawing by an artist
named Heather Handler. It has a weird looking tree on it and these
words:
“Sit
with me on hilltops, under trees and beneath the skies.
Then
speak softly and tell me the story, once again,
About
why we met, and how someday we’ll fly….”
That
sentiment was about our relationship—Bern’s and mine—and it
also speaks to me and you and our shared ministry and our
relationship in this place for over twenty years.
Today—this
day—is our ‘last dance’. Friday we will part. I will go my way
and you will go your way. And both ways are full of hope and joy and
not a little anxiety and unknown wonders. Both ways lead to this:
they lead us deeper into the Old Man’s Puzzle and they lead us to
flying….
There
is no doubt in my mind that “why
we met” was
because of the will and the heart of God. But when I came here, I
could not have ever imagined staying so long. And now that I am
leaving, I cannot imagine leaving so soon.
Yet
I know this—we, you and I, will soon learn how to fly.
Today
we sit on the hilltop, beneath the sky and speak softly.
And
then we part, you and I. The last dance always ends. And the future
lies ahead, beckoning, inviting, always to be created….
I
cannot thank you enough. I cannot thank you completely. There are not
enough words—though I am a man of many words—to give that thanks
in a way that matters.
Instead,
I will bless you.
And
these are my words of blessing: VOCATUS
ATQUE NON VOCATUS, DEUS ADERIT….That
means this: “Bidden
or unbidden, God is present….”
Whether
we call upon God or not—God is always there…profoundly
there…totally there…here…and now….
I
leave you, as I found you, with God in your midst and deep in the Old
Man’s Puzzle.
You
have let me be a part of that for these years. God was here when I
arrived and God guided us—you and me—on our journey together…and
God waits, ready and glorious, to lead you on as I leave and to lead
me on as you stay here.
And
there is this: God will teach us how to fly….And puzzle us more and
more.
I
love you. I adore you. I will miss you more than you imagine…more
than you CAN imagine. And I bless you and thank you.
Keep
trying, in every way possible, to link the wisdom of the body—WHAT
YOU DO—to the wisdom of the Spirit—WHO YOU ARE.
And
start trying out your wings……
April
25, 2010
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