There was no post yesterday, even though I promised last week to write every day to write my way out of my Trump Funk.
The electricity went out in our area yesterday at 2 pm and wasn't back until midnight.
My computer runs of the stuff, so I didn't write.
We went to bed a little after nine, there being little else to do. I was under every blanket in the house, still in my clothes. Bern woke me after midnight with the good news that power was back. I slept until 9:30 a.m.
When I went to bed the temperature in our house was 59 degrees but was back to the 67 we keep it at when I woke up.
Cold and dark isn't the best.
Hope you're staying warm--and watch the ice, if you live in Connecticut.
Monday, January 21, 2019
Saturday, January 19, 2019
Mary Oliver, Rest in Peace
Mary Oliver died today.
I used to think of myself as a poet. And my soul is, just not my words.
I love poetry and Mary Oliver was one of my favorites. Take this, from "Daisies" for example:
It is possible, I suppose, that sometime
we will learn everything
there is to learn--what the world is, for example
and what it means.
Then, our daughter, Mimi, had a class with her at Bennington College and said Mary was harsh and judgmental and sometimes cruel.
So, she wasn't one of my favorites anymore.
But how can you not love this:
TODAY
Today I'm flying low
and I'm not saying a word.
I'm letting all the voodoos of ambition
sleep.
The world goes on as it must,
the bees in the garden rumbling a little,
the fish leaping, the gnats getting eaten
and so forth.
But I'm taking the day off.
Quiet as a feather.
I hardly move, though really I am traveling
a terrific distance.
Stillness. One of the doors
into the temple.
Pretty amazing.
I wish her well on her journey into the stillness and the distance.
I used to think of myself as a poet. And my soul is, just not my words.
I love poetry and Mary Oliver was one of my favorites. Take this, from "Daisies" for example:
It is possible, I suppose, that sometime
we will learn everything
there is to learn--what the world is, for example
and what it means.
Then, our daughter, Mimi, had a class with her at Bennington College and said Mary was harsh and judgmental and sometimes cruel.
So, she wasn't one of my favorites anymore.
But how can you not love this:
TODAY
Today I'm flying low
and I'm not saying a word.
I'm letting all the voodoos of ambition
sleep.
The world goes on as it must,
the bees in the garden rumbling a little,
the fish leaping, the gnats getting eaten
and so forth.
But I'm taking the day off.
Quiet as a feather.
I hardly move, though really I am traveling
a terrific distance.
Stillness. One of the doors
into the temple.
Pretty amazing.
I wish her well on her journey into the stillness and the distance.
disturbing and disgraceful
I just watched a video on the Washington Post web-site that was horrifying.
There was a gathering of Native Americans in Washington today to celebrate 'indigenous people' around the world. One of the group, who were being taunted by anti-abortion protesters, got separated from the group and encounter a group of teen boys in Make America Great Again hats at the Lincoln Memorial. The man, who is a Viet Nam veteran and head of a group that supports Native American young people, was surrounded by the teens.
He continued to beat his hand drum and sing his chant about resisting oppression, but one of the teens stood less than a foot from him, smirking and looking like he was thinking (my interpretation) 'you're not as good as me'.
The man's name was Philips and said later he felt unsafe as other teens were encouraging the boy.
People were chanting, "build the wall, build the wall", which is so ignorant it is beyond belief since Philips and his people were here before any of us was.
The teens were from a Catholic high school in Park Hills, Kentucky who were sent to DC for the anti-abortion rally.
The school said appropriate action--up to and including expulsion would be considered.
I certainly hope so.
Go watch it on the Washington Post web-site and feel the revulsion I felt.
How have we sunk this low?
Well, I think I know but I won't say his name.
There was a gathering of Native Americans in Washington today to celebrate 'indigenous people' around the world. One of the group, who were being taunted by anti-abortion protesters, got separated from the group and encounter a group of teen boys in Make America Great Again hats at the Lincoln Memorial. The man, who is a Viet Nam veteran and head of a group that supports Native American young people, was surrounded by the teens.
He continued to beat his hand drum and sing his chant about resisting oppression, but one of the teens stood less than a foot from him, smirking and looking like he was thinking (my interpretation) 'you're not as good as me'.
The man's name was Philips and said later he felt unsafe as other teens were encouraging the boy.
People were chanting, "build the wall, build the wall", which is so ignorant it is beyond belief since Philips and his people were here before any of us was.
The teens were from a Catholic high school in Park Hills, Kentucky who were sent to DC for the anti-abortion rally.
The school said appropriate action--up to and including expulsion would be considered.
I certainly hope so.
Go watch it on the Washington Post web-site and feel the revulsion I felt.
How have we sunk this low?
Well, I think I know but I won't say his name.
some words to ponder
Here are a few of the quotes from my Mastery Foundation quote box. Well worth pondering.
"The truth may well be even more difficult to relate than it is to find" --Albert Murray
"If one does not have wild dreams of achievement, there is no spur even to get the dishes washed. One must think like a hero to behkave like a merely decent human being." --May Sarton
"For myself I am an optimist--it does not seem to be much use being anything else." --Winston Churchill
"The fish trap exists because of the fish; once you've gotten the fish, you can forget about the trap. The rabbit snare exists because of the rabbit; once you've gotten the rabbit, you can forget the snare. Words exist because of meaning; once you've gotten the meaning, you can forget the words. Where can I find a man who has forgotten the words so I can have a word with him?"--Chuang Tzu
I chose those because I am longing for truth, wild dreams, optimism and a man who has forgotten the words.
Actually, Chuang Tzu's words are still teasing me on. I'm not quite where they are leading. But I'm optimistic about finding the 'truth' in them.
Lose not faith, beloved. Dream optimistically in these shadowy times.
Always long for the light that is to come.
"The truth may well be even more difficult to relate than it is to find" --Albert Murray
"If one does not have wild dreams of achievement, there is no spur even to get the dishes washed. One must think like a hero to behkave like a merely decent human being." --May Sarton
"For myself I am an optimist--it does not seem to be much use being anything else." --Winston Churchill
"The fish trap exists because of the fish; once you've gotten the fish, you can forget about the trap. The rabbit snare exists because of the rabbit; once you've gotten the rabbit, you can forget the snare. Words exist because of meaning; once you've gotten the meaning, you can forget the words. Where can I find a man who has forgotten the words so I can have a word with him?"--Chuang Tzu
I chose those because I am longing for truth, wild dreams, optimism and a man who has forgotten the words.
Actually, Chuang Tzu's words are still teasing me on. I'm not quite where they are leading. But I'm optimistic about finding the 'truth' in them.
Lose not faith, beloved. Dream optimistically in these shadowy times.
Always long for the light that is to come.
Friday, January 18, 2019
Keeping my promise
OK, I'm writing every day--for two days at least!
Men who are queasy should read this post.
Today I went to my urologist, Dr. Wong--I know, I know, an unfortunate name for a urologist.
She put a camera up through my penis to my bladder. Not the most pleasant thing to experience and for me, especially strange and odd since she looks so much like my daughter in law, Cathy Chen. Plus, another woman--a middle-eastern woman was in the room with her.
Thing is, Dr. Wong is still trying to understand why my PSA, which I shouldn't have at all since I have no prostrate gland, jumped up to 4 from 0.01.
One answer would be that my prostrate cancer moved somewhere else--but CAT scan and Bone scan and peeking in my bladder ruled that out.
So, another blood test in 3 months and another visit to Cathy look alike in 6 months.
But for now, all is well.
To put a camera in your bladder they pump in water and air! My bladder was full when the test was over so I peed in the bathroom, but the air came out too, so I had a Number One fart or two. Really odd and strange...
(One thing I've learned from all this--I don't get stressed about unknown possibilities. I just do what I have to do and move on. Not bad for a way to be, I'd say. But you really don't want a camera in your bladder--trust me on that....)
Men who are queasy should read this post.
Today I went to my urologist, Dr. Wong--I know, I know, an unfortunate name for a urologist.
She put a camera up through my penis to my bladder. Not the most pleasant thing to experience and for me, especially strange and odd since she looks so much like my daughter in law, Cathy Chen. Plus, another woman--a middle-eastern woman was in the room with her.
Thing is, Dr. Wong is still trying to understand why my PSA, which I shouldn't have at all since I have no prostrate gland, jumped up to 4 from 0.01.
One answer would be that my prostrate cancer moved somewhere else--but CAT scan and Bone scan and peeking in my bladder ruled that out.
So, another blood test in 3 months and another visit to Cathy look alike in 6 months.
But for now, all is well.
To put a camera in your bladder they pump in water and air! My bladder was full when the test was over so I peed in the bathroom, but the air came out too, so I had a Number One fart or two. Really odd and strange...
(One thing I've learned from all this--I don't get stressed about unknown possibilities. I just do what I have to do and move on. Not bad for a way to be, I'd say. But you really don't want a camera in your bladder--trust me on that....)
Thursday, January 17, 2019
OK, I know....
I realized I haven't been writing much here under the Castor oil tree lately when I found myself last night searching my files of writings for something to post.
Then I realized why I haven't been writing.
I am finally in Trump-Funk big time.
The shutdown and almost hourly lies have finally driven me into a form of mild depression that keeps me from writing.
And I am not a depressive person. I am your best 'glass half full' or 'full glass just looks half full' guy.
Often in my life as a full time priest I would listen to folks sit in my office and talk about their depression. I agreed to listen twice to all that, but since I've never been depressed and am not a trained psychologist, on the second visit I would give them three names of psychologists I trusted. Many thanked me later. Unlike some ministers I've known, I am clear about my limitations. I know to 'refer quickly' when the problem is out of my league. I believe religious clerics are 'generalists' and have no business--unless they have training in psychology--dealing with any psychological problem.
Two years of this president has worn me down, little by little.
I think that's my problem--and probably the problem of many others: every day brings a couple new outrageous tweeted insults to his opponents and outright lies, it's hard to get outraged over and again.
I'm suffering from 'outrage overload'--the Trump-Funk.
So, I'm going to force myself to write here every day. I'll try not to focus on my daily outrage--though that would be therapeutic for me--but I can't guarantee you that.
Maybe I'll go back to my Mastery Foundation quote box and let them inspire me to higher ground.
Then I realized why I haven't been writing.
I am finally in Trump-Funk big time.
The shutdown and almost hourly lies have finally driven me into a form of mild depression that keeps me from writing.
And I am not a depressive person. I am your best 'glass half full' or 'full glass just looks half full' guy.
Often in my life as a full time priest I would listen to folks sit in my office and talk about their depression. I agreed to listen twice to all that, but since I've never been depressed and am not a trained psychologist, on the second visit I would give them three names of psychologists I trusted. Many thanked me later. Unlike some ministers I've known, I am clear about my limitations. I know to 'refer quickly' when the problem is out of my league. I believe religious clerics are 'generalists' and have no business--unless they have training in psychology--dealing with any psychological problem.
Two years of this president has worn me down, little by little.
I think that's my problem--and probably the problem of many others: every day brings a couple new outrageous tweeted insults to his opponents and outright lies, it's hard to get outraged over and again.
I'm suffering from 'outrage overload'--the Trump-Funk.
So, I'm going to force myself to write here every day. I'll try not to focus on my daily outrage--though that would be therapeutic for me--but I can't guarantee you that.
Maybe I'll go back to my Mastery Foundation quote box and let them inspire me to higher ground.
Monday, January 14, 2019
words that matter
Now in the, what is it? 24th day of an unnecessary and ego driven partial government shutdown, which is costing us as a people a small fortune each day, I need some words that matter.
Ann Overton, head of the Mastery Foundation, which has been a part of my life for nearly 30 years, sent each of the Board members a plastic container full of quotes--more than a year's worth, so I read a few each day.
This one, by Clarissa Pinkola Estes, a Ph.D. of native American and Latin American roots who has written several books about women in history, spoke to me in what she calls 'shadowy times', which is an excellent way to describe life in this strange and frightening presidential administration.
Hope these words speak to you as well.
"One of the most calming and powerful actions you can do to intervene in a stormy world is to stand up and show your soul. Soul on deck shines like gold in dark times. The light of your soul throws sparks, can send up flares, builds signal fires, causes proper matters to catch fire. To display the lantern of soul in shadowy times like there--to be fierce and to show mercy toward others, both are acts of immense bravery and greatest necessity. Struggling souls catch light from other souls who are fully lit and willing to show it. If you would help to calm the tumult, this is one of the strongest things you can do."
Ckarussa Pinkola Estes
Take heart my friends, and show your soul.
Ann Overton, head of the Mastery Foundation, which has been a part of my life for nearly 30 years, sent each of the Board members a plastic container full of quotes--more than a year's worth, so I read a few each day.
This one, by Clarissa Pinkola Estes, a Ph.D. of native American and Latin American roots who has written several books about women in history, spoke to me in what she calls 'shadowy times', which is an excellent way to describe life in this strange and frightening presidential administration.
Hope these words speak to you as well.
"One of the most calming and powerful actions you can do to intervene in a stormy world is to stand up and show your soul. Soul on deck shines like gold in dark times. The light of your soul throws sparks, can send up flares, builds signal fires, causes proper matters to catch fire. To display the lantern of soul in shadowy times like there--to be fierce and to show mercy toward others, both are acts of immense bravery and greatest necessity. Struggling souls catch light from other souls who are fully lit and willing to show it. If you would help to calm the tumult, this is one of the strongest things you can do."
Ckarussa Pinkola Estes
Take heart my friends, and show your soul.
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