Monday, February 4, 2013

Voyage to a Strange Shore

OK, I haven't written here for over a week. I've been away to the land of Flu, lost in it's winding lanes, overheated by it's tense sun, wooed to sleep at ever corner.

When I was little, I slept through every major childhood disease. At 7 or 8 I contracted both the measles and the chicken pox and went to sleep for a week or so. At 12 I had the mumps and was asleep in in room with the blinds drawn for about the same amount of time. I remember people waking me up for soup and water or to go to the bathroom or to take some noxious potion or another, but essentially, I slept through.

Here's the thing about doctors--they don't believe me and you....I called on Wed. morning and told him I had the flu. He's been my doctor for almost 25 years but still doesn't believe m on the phone. He asked 10 minutes of questions and pointed out I was missing several major symptoms (fever, loss of appetite and muscle ache, mostly) said it was probably a cold and to give it a day or two. I told him all those symptoms were in route, they simply hadn't arrived yet. He laughed but said, "really, give it a day or two...besides, you had a flu shot...." I pointed out the flu vaccine doesn't help between 30% and 40% of the people who get it.....That, I know, was being uppity and a mister know it all.

So I gave it a day or so and all the ships reached port! I didn't feel like eating 'anything', my hips and legs ached, my temperature (which normally is 97.5 or so, I know, I know, I am 'cool'....made it over 102. I called him back.

"I have the Flu," said, a proceeded to describe my misery, even the day I slept for 9 p.m. til 9 a.m. and then took a couple of 2 1/2 hour naps before bed at 9 p.m. He reluctantly put me on Tana Flu and I told him I needed an antibiotic as well. "No need for that," he said. What he meant was "liar, liar, pants on fire!"

So, when I went to the office today, he examined me and said, "you're on the antibiotics, right?"

"No," I explained, "you wouldn't give it to me."

"I'm sure I emailed it in...."

"Nope, sorry...."

So, now I'm on the Tana Flu, one of those GI track drone antibiotics and, if my breathing peak flows aren't better tomorrow, I'm to start a round of Prednisone!

But I just had a cold and had gotten my flu shot.

The Land of Flu is a strange destination. I can't concentrate  for longer than 5 minutes (of course, I can't do much more on a good day but this is a good excuse!) And there are the dreams: I've had two kind of vivid and very real dreams--the mathematical dreams and the dreams where I've lost the dog and am naked in a place I've never seen before. The Math dreams are endless varied: I spent a whole dream working, over and again, out what 1.5 billion squared is in my head. It was always 2.25 billion but I kept being asked again and since I had it nailed, I kept doing it. There have been several dreams about graft paper and geometrical shapes. And one about a math task I never really understood.

Lots of varieties of Math.

The 'lost-my-dog-naked-somewhere-I've-never-seen-before-dreams' are pretty much alike....

It's also an odd place to deal with medical folks. There ought to be a class in medical school titled "They are IN their body, you're NOT".

Because I was having respiratory issues, I called the specialist who has kept me so healthy in that concern for so long. He seldom believes me.

My GP does believe me. He realized he's not inside me and has no way to discern what's going on there in the dark of the insides of my body besides what I tell him. I always appreciate that so much...

Today, because I remember weird, random quotes as I'm going to sleep or waking up, I remembered this one from Groucho  Marx: "outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read...."

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some ponderings by an aging white man who is an Episcopal priest in Connecticut. Now retired but still working and still wondering what it all means...all of it.