Cousins

Since I have alternatively bemoaned and celebrated being an only child, I thought maybe I should tell you a little about my cousins (closest to siblings I had and much like grandchildren, great to be around but you don't have to live with them!)

I just wrote a Christmas card (I know, I know--I haven't been busy, I'm just lazy) to my cousin Gayle and her husband Peter Keller. Gayle was a Pugh, the only girl of 4 children to my mom's sister, Juanette (my grandmother came up with some names--Elsie, Juanette, Cleo, Georgie and Graham...plus Leon and Ernest who died as children). Gayle's brothers were Marlin, Joel and Duane--all of whom indulged me and tormented me, their much younger first cousin, to a remarkable degree. Joel once had a bottle of ether, God knows where he got it, and invited me to take a big smell of it. I passed out, dead to the world and Joel had to go get my Aunt to bring me around. Marlin once fed me 5 packs of Dentine gum and nearly burned the enamel off my teeth. Marlin was once driving me to my grandmother's house--across the road from his house--when we encountered one of the less than half-a-dozen traffic jams ever in Conklintown, WV. This one, like the others, involved a deer hit by a car. Marlin stopped, scoped out the situation, grabbed his hunting knife from the glove compartment, told me to stay in the car and ran down the road toward the still thrashing deer. Of course I followed right behind--so close behind that I got sprayed by arterial deer blood as Marlin expertly cut the deer's throat and put it out of its misery. Hard to explain to my grandmother why I arrived soaked in deer blood.

Gayle was always elegant and poised to me. She was years older and seemed like a woman when, as I look back, she was only a teenager. One of the stories of my mother's family is that my Grandmother, who lived well into her 80's, in her early 70's became obsessed with her death. Gayle moved in with her in Grandmaw's trailer (yes, beloved, I come from trailer trash!) and every time my grandmother complained about a random pain or funny feeling, Gayle would tell her, "that's the way you get just before you die, Mamaw".

It was a form of reality therapy that snapped my grandmother out of her depression in a matter of days and she sent Gayle packing.

Besides Mejol, who was my favorite cousin, Gayle took care of me more than any of the others.

And now we're both old. I'm in my 60's and Gayle in her 70's. I haven't seen her for years. Funny how someone you love so much can drop out of your life so easily.

But we exchange Christmas cards--her's on time and mine weeks late.

She meant a great deal to me in my childhood and adolescence. We went vastly different directions religiously. She is extremely devout and strict and I'm an agnostic-leaning Episcopalian. We'd drive each other crazy, I'm sure, about politics and social issues and religion. And, in spite of all that, I'd like to see her again.

Gayle, I love you profoundly and I'm sorry you don't know that for sure....