I need to write about it

I am not a private person much of the time. My Meyers/Briggs always puts me in the middle between extrovert and introvert. I love my time alone but my professional life as an Episcopal priest has made vast demands on extroversion.

So, here's the thing. I had my prostrate removed 12 years ago and had a month of radiation after the surgery.

So, for all that time, my PSA in blood tests has been, understandably, 0.01 or so.

But this winter my PSA was 4.5.

So I went to my urologist, Dr. Wong (who looks a lot like my daughter in law, Cathy Chen, which makes her examining my private parts and putting her finger up my butt rather disconcerting).

Anyway. I gave blood for a more detailed test before I left the hospital where Dr. Wong practices and I will have several scans in the new year and she will look in my bladder--if you've never had that done, I won't explain it because it would freak you out--on January 18.

She can't explain the PSA, she tells me, until she has the tests.

But she did ask if I had any kidney problems or bone pain (no and no) and told me that one possibility is after all this time the prostrate cancer spread, and where it usually goes is to the bones or the kidneys.

I had a parishioner in Charleston, West Virginia who died from bone cancer and I can tell you that is a horrible way to go.

But Dr. Wong told me not to worry until all the tests are back and that there could be a much more mundane reason my PSA was high--like the blood test wasn't accurate. So the blood today will answer that.

I must say, I'm not ready to worry about the bad possibilities because I'm dreading her looking into my bladder on the 18th of January.

If you're a man and never had that done, I'm not going to tell you about it. It involves a light and a camera that has to go into your bladder via.....Oh, I'll spare you that.

You don't want to know....