Thursday, March 2, 2017

I got out of my car!!!!

For a while now, I've been wondering how I used to get out of my car. And I didn't remember

Since September, when I ruptured my quad muscle and had to have it surgically reattached--I don't even like to think about that surgery: it involved drilling holes in my knee and then I shut down--getting in and out of a car was a real drama.

When I could only ride, not drive, I'd hold on to the door with my right hand, lift my 'good leg', the left, into the car and scoot as far to the left as I could to get my right (bad leg) in with the brace on it and then rearrange myself as needed.

Getting out requited scooting so I could get my immobilized leg out then holding on for dear life to whatever--the door, my crutch, the seat, to bring out my 'good leg'.

Once I was cleared to drive with the ankle to thigh brace, I had to hold onto door to angle my right leg in and then angle my butt onto the seat, holding on.

Even without the brace, I had to do that.

And getting out, I put my left arm on the car and my right arm on the door and lifted my left leg out, using the strength of my arms, before pulling out my left leg.

And, I thought, a few days ago, I didn't remember how I used to get out of the car before my injury.

Today, it just happened. My left leg went out and my right leg pushed out my body.

Amazing. Muscle memory is simply that.

I've been so frustrated about my healing for over a month now, but today, hope arose. I got out of my car like I used to.

And I go up steps one leg after the other.

Coming down is still an issue. It's mostly sideways with right leg first and then left all the way down if the steps are steep, as they are in our circa 1850 house. Many steps I go down like I used to.

But I got out of my car like before the injury.

I won't be so impatient and aggravated  as I've been.

Healing is coming. I need to lean into that reality.

Who knew getting out of a car could be such joy and wonder and release????

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some ponderings by an aging white man who is an Episcopal priest in Connecticut. Now retired but still working and still wondering what it all means...all of it.