My glasses

I use my glasses to drive and watch TV and movies. Otherwise, I don't use them. I can't read with them. I can't type this with them. I can't eat with them because I can't really see the plate. Most of the time I'm inside, they hang around my neck like a lanyard.

I put them on to preach, since I don't use notes, but take them off to read the Gospel and celebrate because with them on, I can't see the books.

I got a card from my opthamologist telling me I need a yearly exam.

I once tried trifocals and they made me dizzy and crazy.

I can drive and watch TV with my glasses and do most everything else without them.

I had strange cataracts quite young, probably from the steroids I've taken over the years. The surgeon took me from 200/20 to about 40/20--which means I still need glasses to drive and see birds clearly in the back yard and watch a movie. Had my cataracts been only a few years later, I could be 20/20 and wear sunglasses instead of glasses that turn dark when exposed to sunlight.

It's a tad odd, needing glasses for so little and yet really needing them.

I guess I'll go for the exam but won't change my frames since they are Armani and made of graphite or something like that and weigh almost nothing. Plus, they are black and red and really cool.