my fault, my own fault, my most grievious fault

From the beginning, I've had a hard time understanding how thinking people could support our President, He-Who-Will-Not-Be-Named. It just made no sense to me how anyone could vote for a p***y grabbing, habitual liar who called everyone names and seemed to not know the meaning of 'decorum'.

But after the last week--the trashing of our NATO allies, the nightmare in Helsinki, the walk backs that are impossible to believe, Michael Cohen's recorded conversation that 'never happened' and now Rudy says obviously did, and the disregard of the intelligence apparatus that keeps us safe and the inexplicable 'bro-mance' with the leader of the country that has been our greatest enemy since WW II, plus tariffs that could cause a global economic melt-down--how can anyone believe this guy is in any way qualified or competent to be the leader of the free world.

I've been trying for weeks to read A Hillbilly Elegy and I just can't. I am one of the people that book describes but I'm so far removed from it I simply can't read about who I used to be--most of whom voted against Hillary. I can't empathize. My fault.

I need to take a deep breath (or 400) and try to empathize with people who still support the President.

It's just that I can't quite get there.

I can't put myself in their place.

It's beyond my ken and ability to feel empathy.

I feel crazy until I realize that it's not me that 'is crazy', it's what's going on with our President.

I pride myself on being able to empathize with people I don't understand or agree with.

But I just can't in this case.

It is my fault.

It is my own fault.

It is my most grievous fault.

And I just can't imagine how it would be to stand behind him, after all this, or ever.

Sorry.