Sunday, December 8, 2013

two words that make me sad

Lots of times when I'm talking to friends, they'll say something about the niece playing field hockey or the nephew's piano lessons. Little conversation bits about the children of your siblings or your mate's siblings. Every time nieces and nephews come up, I feel sad and a bit cheated. I don't have any.

I'm an only child and neither of Bern's older siblings have children, so she and I are neice-less and nephew-deprived.

Don't get me wrong, I seldom feel sorry for myself about being an only child. After all this time I've become comfortable and content with it. And I'm never bored--which is a blessing of an only child. And whenever I think it might be nice to have a sibling or two, all I have to do is have a short conversation with someone who does...and I'm back to contented with my situation!

But I would like some nieces and nephews. I grew up with scads of uncles and aunts. Eight on my mother's side and 6 on my father's side. (Truth is, I used to think everyone on my father's side was an aunt or uncle because I grew up calling all my father's 1st cousins "Aunt somebody" or "Uncle somebody.' When I was in my teens I finally began to figure out that Uncle Pat and Uncle Ralph and Uncle 'Shortie'--and yes he was--Uncle Opel and Aunt Denee and Aunt Ursa and Uncle Buford and Aunt Arbana and Uncle Hovie--my father's family had some names, I'll tell you--were, in point of fact, my second cousins. By then it was too late since they 'were' aunts and uncles in my mind and heart.)

I was the youngest of all the multitude of first cousins (18 in all) until My Uncle Harvey and my mother's sister, Aunt Elsie adopted Denise who was 6 years younger than me. I was in my teens by then and she was 10. I guess not having nieces and nephews pales beside the fact that my son and daughter have no first cousins and I had so many. But nieces and nephews would be nice.

The thing is, I think Bern and I would be great at being Aunt and Uncle. I'd be considered a little eccentric but a good listener and Bern would be seen as a font of wisdom and advice. We'd have them come and stay a few days every once in a while. I used to go visit Aunt Elsie and Uncle Harvey for a week every year and was always around my Dad's brothers and my mother's sisters. I liked having so many adults that were like my parents except NOT!

Bern would make them cabbage rolls with sour cream and I'd ask them about what they've been reading and take them to movies. Bern would tell the nieces all they need to know about boys but their parents won't tell them and I'd take the nephews on walks around Cheshire and listen to their angst and confusion about girls (none of which I could clear up in any way!)

We could email with them and call them on their birthdays and they'd all tell us we were their favorite Aunt and Uncle even if we weren't just to please us.

Nieces and Nephews--you have any spare ones we could have? We'd take good care of them and send them back when you wanted. 


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About Me

some ponderings by an aging white man who is an Episcopal priest in Connecticut. Now retired but still working and still wondering what it all means...all of it.