"doing the wrong thing for the right reason"

I've been observing and being a part of a conflict for over a year and a half and only today did I realize what was going on. I still don't understand why the conflict is such a 'big deal' to people on either side--but I know this: at every step of the way, people 'did the wrong thing for the right reason'.

That may sound counter intuitive or even a bit crazy, but believe me, it is true.

In this conflict, both sides bent over backwards and sideways to try to be compassionate and understanding of the other side. Every thing any of them did was 'for the right reason'--a concern for the 'other' and a longing to hold the tribe together.

And almost every decision was the 'wrong thing' to do...but done for the 'right reason'.

Isn't that remarkable? People trying to do things for the 'right reason' consistently did 'the wrong thing'.

In a situation like this one--where everyone had each other in mind and were caring for 'the other side'--things went from bad to worse.

No wonder adversaries who don't give a fig about 'the opposition' make such a mess of things.....