Friday, November 13, 2015

The woman I love

I have a little silver colored heart on my desk, as I write this, that has a wire that turns into a spiral so you can put a picture on it. And on it is a picture of the woman I love--Bern. She is probably in her 30's in the photo, smiling, wearing a white top, her hair is shoulder length--longer and shorter than it has been in all these years. We've known each other since 1964 and been married since 1970. 51 years of 'knowing each other' and 45 years of marriage.

I'm not yet sure how that happened, how I have been that blessed, to know this woman I love so long and to have been married to her so long. We have two children, both of whom are wondrous, and three granddaughters who are wondrous as well. What star was in what alignment to give us this gift?

I look at that picture on my desk a lot, remembering how blessed I am.

For Christmas each year, Bern does a piece of art for me and I write her something.

Here's what I wrote for her two years ago. I hope you see from it how blessed and lucky I am.

For Bern for Christmas 2013


What we need to do, you and I,
Is love each other forever.

We're almost half-way there
from that night under the bleachers
in, what was it? 1964?
That's just under half-a-century, right there!
Forever isn't that far away, given how Time
tends to speed up when you age
to the age we are now.

Do you remember the score
that night?
Or even who Gary High was playing?
I certainly don't.
All I remember—and remember quite well--
is how I was trembling
as I held you
and kissed you
for most of four quarters
of a High School football game.

We've made it this far,
a long way, all said and done,
so why not go for Forever?

It's not always been easy sailing
but the sea of life is seldom calm.

But we've endured, survived, even thrived
in all these years...all these long years
that seem shorter, each one,
the longer we go on.

No one has ever done it,
in my knowledge,
been in love forever,
I mean.

But new things have to happen
all the time or else
everything would start running

It's not been easy—but who said
'it would be easy'--
but more ups than downs,
more wonder than disappointment,
more hope than despair.
I think that at least,
and hope you do.

There are these two children we made
and you birthed
and we fretted over for so many years.
There are those two--
more ups than downs with them too,
more wonder than disappointment,
more hope than despair.
That too, I think,
requires a shot at Forever.

(I often can't believe I've lived
as long as I have.
Yet I have.)

There is no way to deny Time.

I just did the math,
(how silly is that?)
and through division
realized I've known you
and loved you exactly
69.1% of my whole, long life.

Jeezie peezie, that's a long time!
About half way to Forever.

So, why don't we go for it,
as best we can, getting older every day,
to make it to Forever?

We've made it this far,
why not forget about 'the Home'
and just decide that
this is this.


It would be more ups than downs,
more wonder than disappointments,
more hope than despair,
just like it's been half-way-to-Forever

So, how 'bout it? We can talk about it later.....

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About Me

some ponderings by an aging white man who is an Episcopal priest in Connecticut. Now retired but still working and still wondering what it all means...all of it.