I
believe in the Edges of God.
Truly,
that is my limit on the whole question of Creed.
I
don't believe in a God storming out of the clouds
and
smiting me to smithereens if I am bad.
I
don't believe in a God who would wake me up,
pin
me to my bed and give me bleeding sores
on
my palms and my feet,
much
less my side.
(Explain
that to your general practitioner!)
I
don't believe in a God who would instruct me
to
slay infidels or displace peaceful people
so
I can have a Motherland.
I
don't believe in a God who has nothing better to do
besides
visit bedrooms around the globe
uncovering
(literally) illicit love.
I
don't believe in a god who frets
about
who wins the next election.
I
don't believe in a God who believes in 'abomination'.
I
believe in the edges of God--
the
soft parts, the tender pieces--
the
feathers and the fur of God.
I
do believe in the ears of God,
which
stick out—cartoon like—on the edges of God's Being.
I,
myself, listen and listen
and
then listen some more
for
the Still, Small Voice.
I
believe in God's nose—prominent and distinctively
Jewish
in my belief--
I
smell trouble from time to time
and
imagine God sniffs it out too.
The
toenails and fingernails of God--
there's
something I can hold onto,
if
only tentatively.
Hair,
there's something to believe in as well.
God's
hair—full, luxurious, without need of gel or conditioner,
filling
up the Temple, heaven, the whole universe!
I
can believe in God's hair.
God's
edges shine and blink and reflect color.
God's
edges are like the little brook,
flowing
out the woods just beyond the tire swing,
in
what used to be my grandmother's land.
God's
edges are like the voices of old friends,
old
lovers, people long gone but not forgotten.
God's
edges are not sharp or angled.
The
edges of God are well worn by practice
and
prayer and forgotten possibilities
about
to be remembered.
God's
edges are like the wrists of someone
you
don't quite recall but can't ever remove from your heart.
God's
edges are rimmed and circled
with
bracelets of paradox and happenstance
and
accidents with meaning.
God
is edged with sunshine,
rainbows,
over-ripe,
fallen apples, crushed beneath your feet
and
the bees hovering around them.
God's
edges hold storm clouds too--
the
Storm of the Century coming fast,
tsunamis
and tornadoes, spinning out of control.
Blood
from God's hands—now there's an edge of God
to
ponder, reach for, then snatch your hand away.
God
bleeding is an astonishing thought.
God
bleeding can help my unbelief.
And
most, most of all,
the
edges of God are God's tears.
Tears
of frustration, longing, loss, deep pain,
profound
joy, wonder and astonishment--
tears
that heal and relieve and comfort...
and
disturb the Cosmos.
That's
what I believe in:
God's
tears.
jgb