Saturday, March 17, 2018

every thing I see....

Bela dog has been dead for just over 22 hours now and everything I see reminds me how much I already miss him.

The last two months I've sat in the living room because he would be sleeping there from 10-2:30 or so and from 4-7 p.m. Today I sat in the same chair and couldn't read.

I went out for a while and when I came home I truly expected him to come running to greet me, though he hasn't done that for at least two months.

The pillow he slept on is on our bed. Last night--the first night without him--I couldn't bring myself to touch that pillow because he wouldn't be there.

I gathered up all his food and treats and washed out the container of home-made food Bern or I always made for him. I put the food and treats and pills in a bag for the trash. I didn't want to see it and be reminded he wasn't here any more. Bern wants to give all that to a friend who has dogs so today I brought it back inside.

There is no place in this house that doesn't remind me of when he was there.

People who aren't 'dog people' will be thinking this: 'he was just a dog.'

Dog people will know better and understand. You don't live with any creature for 13 1/2 years and just 'forget' when they die.

Hard times and wet eyes for us today and for some todays to come.

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some ponderings by an aging white man who is an Episcopal priest in Connecticut. Now retired but still working and still wondering what it all means...all of it.